My oldest son, who goes to college in the South, brought his current girlfriend by for a couple of days this week on their way to Maine to a Spring Break ski trip.  She's a down home Southern Belle who has never been skiing, so they decided to do the slopes instead of the beach.  Our house is on the way, and we had never met her, so they stopped over for a couple of nights on their drive up.  
   
 Well, when she walked in with him, all I can say is that my perv gene activated and then went into overdrive.  She's 21, blonde, tight as hell, and has this drool inducing look that you just can't take your eyes away from.  She comes in, takes off her jacket, and has the gall to stand there in front of a perv like me in yoga pants and a cropped t-shirt.  I actually had to do a kind of hunch lean against the kitchen counter to hide my instabone like I was a fucking teenager again.  
   
 My first thought when I saw her was: I want one.  I had no second thought because, somehow, my brain went offline and stayed that way until yesterday morning.  I'm a lawyer.  I get fucking PAID to talk, yet I couldn't string together one coherent sentence the first night that they were here.  I'd open my mouth and it was like I was speaking in tongues.   I barely made it through dinner, and I kept catching myself looking at her when I was trying to talk to someone else.    
   
 Needless to say, all of this did NOT go unnoticed by the family.  My wife kept looking at me like I had just dropped a deuce in church; and my son was giving me the stink eye while his younger brother kept giggling into his hand.  The only thing that saved me that night was the two of them going out to see some of my son's friends.  
   
 While they were gone, I tried everything I could do to reset my brain.  I went down to my den and jerked off to BadCollegeGirl's website pics.  That was nice (as it always is (I'm not ashamed)), but didn't reset my brain.  I wen t back upstairs and fucked the hell out of my wife; but, as nice as that was, it still didn't do the trick.  Finally, I went to bed early so that I wouldn't be around to make more of an ass of myself when they got home, and ultimately fell into a troubled sleep with visions of blonde sugarplums dancing on my dick.  
   
 So I'm standing there in the Kitchen the next morning, trying to get out the door before I see her, and in she walks.  No makeup on, short shorts, smelling like a vestal virgin, and obviously having just crawled out of bed.  I swear to God that I actually let out a little squeak when she walked in.  I babbled something at her and fled the house.  I'm driving to work, practicing my emotion regulation skills, trying to do the deep breathing thing, and thinking that I'll never be able to go home that night, when the solution finally comes to me. The Hobby can be my Savior.  
   
 So I pull into a Target parking lot, take out my phone, and do a search on TER for blonde, 18 - 25, bbbj, dfk, and cim.  I get 5 choices within driving distance, and by lunch time, I'm deep inside a reasonable facsimile of my recent obsession.  It was a great session, and with the application of a little imaging imagination, I was able to reset my brain enough to actually be the consummate host that night for dinner.  
   
 They're gone now, and my son made a point of letting me know that they wouldn't have time to stop on the way back down, so the crisis is past.  However, if I hadn't been able to use the hobby to snap me back to reality, I'm pretty sure that I would have been booted out of the family that night  
   
 Has anyone had the hobby similarly help them stop making an ass of themselves?  
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   

-- Modified on 3/13/2014 2:22:04 PM