I found myself recalling several emails and texts from friends old and new saying how much they eagerly await my next post. I picture gentlemen pondering “What’s this girl going to say next?”  Apparently the Applebee’s story was well read and I still wonder while diddling myself at times if the waiter is, in fact, on TER….  
 
That being said, I notice in so many ads on here that we ladies always lend ourselves to what we ARE. We eagerly tell you how good we are in bed, how amazing our assets are, and how you should definitely come see us. We hang on catch phrases and clichés as we bid for your attention in the octagon of the hobby world. This week I am breaking the norm and offering up all that I, your buxom blonde bestie of a girlfriend, AM NOT.  (Key cliffhanger music!)  
 
NOTE – You will NEVER find me uttering even a syllable of anything against any lady or gent on this site, so , nothing said below is directed towards anyone; it is merely a listing of things about me.  
 
I am not a girl who uses an agency or an assistant of any kind. I don’t forward my phone number and I won’t allow someone else to answer my emails or texts. It just seems cold to me. If you prefer talking with assistants please accept my apology in advance as you won’t find them here. You only get me.  
    
This leads me to calls in general … I don’t use a ‘standard two-call system’, in fact, I don’t even know what a two-call system is. So, due to my ignorance you’re going to have to just call me whenever you feel like. If I am busy please by all means leave a message, sexy ones are best! They make me even hotter when I get off set and can call you back. Please, however, do not call me late late at night or rooster dawn early in the morning as these calls will result in my dispatching several ninjas to your location who haven’t gotten laid in 36 days and we ALL know how ninjas get when they don’t climax! NOT a pretty site.  
 
I do not check donations … not when you arrive, not when you’re in the bathroom, not during our date. I am constantly busy with my company and brand thus the hobby world for me is a fun release. While this has never happened, I could easily survive a stiffing but you will only get to see me that one time and I am apparently very addictive so please do not put yourself through the torture of never enjoying me again.  
 
Since we are talking money … I don’t charge for us to go to dinner (lunch or otherwise) before or after a rendezvous. Like, where did this idea come from? Why would I charge you to take me to dinner, have you pay for my food, and pay for my drinks, and pay for desert - just for the honor of getting to watch me eat? What? Really? Gents – if you’re booking for me a date and want to go to dinner just say so! I am normally happy to join you as I HATE eating alone and can only tolerate agents, publicists, and producers for but so long before I need a real connection.   
 
A few other things … I never leave my door unlocked for you to swoop in with all your glory, I prefer a knock which allows me to answer passionately and personally. Also, “What position”  is never my greeting. I prefer to let our whims and passions take us where they may. If that happens to be naked on the balcony, upside down, screaming into the night as we fall into each other’s arms in climax after climax then so be it – I won’t judge! Lastly, I don’t watch the clock, heck, I’m lucky if I even know where the clock is with how wild I get. The clock is really lucky to be in one piece when you leave.  
 
So … WHAT AM I THEN???  Simple.  I’m the girl you search for endlessly in this hobby but haven’t found yet. I’m the girl that keeps in touch with you before, during, and after our date just to see how you are. I’m the girl who you can take out to a strip club or a black tie affair. I’m the girl that doesn’t see complexion or age but rather personality and candor. I’m the girl who screams during the world cup and hinges on Rhonda Rousey’s next UFC finish. I’m the girl who will talk to you whenever you call or write. I’m the girl with copious amounts of lingerie and toys. And lastly …  I’m the girl who haunts your every perverse dream.  
 
I’m your girl and you’re my everything.  
 
Sincerely  
 
Aspen