What I would be careful about (if I were a provider) is his need to tell the world what he is up to. He has even admitted such. He is actually seeking a "sugar-daddy" relationship which is not that uncommon. But he really gets off on telling everyone about it which is what this PDA thing is all about.
My advice to the guy would be to keep this quiet. See some providers that you enjoy being with and approach them about this once they get to know you and feel comfortable with you. Trust has to be earned and quite frankly, I wouldn't trust you to keep it quiet.
For those of you following this adventure and curious about what is going on off-board behind the scenes, a few observations from the girls emailing and talking with me. First, several of them feel that being out in public as warm-up for FS could be fun and for the guy most certainly would be an atmosphere builder, but in the words of 1 particularly pretty and seemingly perceptive lady, progressing from merely "being out" (lunch, walking, shopping for a gift) to actual PDA (all that plus light-weight sexy body language, arm-in-arm and under-the-table teasing around, quiet corner huggy-kissy) could "raise eyebrows" and she wouldn't want that (hey Babe, in case you read this, full respect and no offense intended). I must admit I hadn't considered "raised eyebrows" a drawback since I would stand tall and proud being seen with an affectionate shapely girl on my arm and being reduced to butter every time she wanted something and would enjoy the envious stares coming our way, but then I'm a guy and guys are pigs. Anyway, second, most of the girls feel that being paid less than FS for being out and about with a guy and showing light-weight PDA is not a problem, SO LONG AS she gets to choose the time block (not in peak biz hours and certainly not evenings or week ends) and SO LONG AS at least a couple hour FS session follows so the overall $$$ are up there. Practically all admitted they were not so much in demand that they didn't have downtime (2 said "no" but I think pride was involved), and that a multiple date deal AT HER CONVENIENCE (with some advance notice to me of course) could fill the slack nicely. For what it's worth, 10AM-2PM seemed the most popular time frame, based on what I guess is normal slack time but also I think on when malls normally open. Third, none of the girls felt that light-weight PDA would be a particularly demanding acting job SO LONG AS I'm decent mannered and respectable (which I am) and not a fat slob (which I'm not) and they could select locations so as not to run into acquaintences (fine with me). They also felt that the emotional lines some talked about in the earlier 9/26 string (i.e., involving the necessity of real feelings for the guy) do not stand in the way of playing the part (p.s., you know I love and would never argue with you Ahvani, but that's their input). As for my contention that some providers just are more sensual and gorgeous and better actors than others and therefore worth more $$$ than others (there Ahvani, hope that puts me back on your good side), all respondents obviously describe themselves as the best (hey, that's capitalism and free market and the American way), but the range of rates and specials out there and plain old common sense still says I'm right on that point (and I'm not knocking anybody in saying that since I have had sessions priced all over the lot and have enjoyed every one of them).
So friends, that's where matters stand, and I'm going to do this thing when I conclude on a right match, and I'll be discrete as promised although if going good I'll undoubtedly want to yell it from the rafters. I hope not to lose certain prior proivider relationships due to this (where I've already passed muster and you know who you are), but expect you'll welcome me back if I choose wrong here and mis-spend all sorts of what should be your $$$ in the process. As said in the earlier string, however, the 2-hour "traditional date" just is leaving me wanting for something more, and I think the "being out" and PDA warm-up is it. Also as said, I had a gloriously long run of TLA (true love always) before being early-widowed and am not confusing that with the supplemented dates I have in mind paying for here, so no worries on that point. Actually, having already had that TLA is kind of a shield (wouldn't do anything hobbyistwise to muddy memories of that level of emotional commitment) and makes me a good sport in this whole hobbying thing, and at this point I wouldn't have it any other way.
Thoughts, suggestions, intros? And no, I mean no disrespect to providers out there thinking I'm trying to rob your sisters, and no, I won't go jump in the lake ...
but does this sound a tad bit mentally unstable to anyone else? I'm not trying to be a jerk, but most hobbyists are in this game because they want (1) variety in their sex, (2) the ability to live out their PSE fantasies w/o having their significant other give them weird looks when they ask for CIM, anal, or rimming and (3) don't want to leave the comforts of their steady relationships.
You on their other hand appear to WANT the comforts (holding hands, cuddling in public, etc) of the steady relationship - albeit without the long-term committment.
I just don't get it. If you're not having any luck on the dating scene, it seems that it would be much easier and less expensive for you to work on YOURSELF (image, conversation skills, weight, or whatever is making conventional dating so difficult for you) as opposed to finding the 1 provider who is a mix of beauty, brains, nymphomaniacm, and - most important of all - a world class actress who can fool you into thinking you're Prince Charming. Don't you think that if a Provider were THAT good of an actress she would be in Hollywood acting?
Everyone is entitled to their opinions, kinks, and fetishes but - I'm sorry - to me this just sounds like a "stalker" case waiting to unfold.
It has been intelligent conversation on both sides, but just like world peace, it isn't going to be resolved in this forum. I think you should take this to private emails and if there are any takers, they will contact you. Best of luck.
Just thought others would be interested in a little different twist, and got a few good suggestions out of the back-and-forth. Also got some whako stuff but thats to be expected. Good amount of off-board emails and phone going on now so will take your advice. Thanks.
Intended to ignore your reply, but then the world has to be protected, right? Don't know if you're a guy or gal but will assume a guy and hope I have it right. Your "big 3" reasons for being in the game come down to a single personal desire to have exciting and sometimes illicit sex without being caught or having to explain. Your sophisticated sounding verbiage seeking deeper psychological motives for yourself is just that, sophisticated sounding verbiage. You seem to have a real hard-on for guys wanting to add pleasurable sexuality to the hobbying mix. Don't you think rutting around with a provider in a wham-bam-thank-you-mam animalistic manner, with no thought of who she is or respect for her situation or anything else further than your dick reflects someone who is maybe, how did you put it, "a tad bit mentally unstable"? The blind sexual pounding you're aparently in the game for, whether you call it opinion, kink, or fetish, is just the kind of obsession that stalking and worse come from, and smart providers out there know that and are on watch. Yes, you're a jerk, but so long as our girls recognize the type, they protect themselves. How deep in obsession are you not to see that hobbying can be done with, what did you call them, "the comforts"? I happen to apply the same standards of affection and loyalty (no longer saddled with fidelity) whether hobbying with 20-something providers once a month or dating 40-something non-providers every week-end, and the providers I've known damn well appreciate that. And as for my communicative skills and appearance and the providers' acting prowess you speak of, give us all a break! "The comforts", as you call them, add a background sexuality to hobbying, and if you'd get your nose out of the muck you'd see that, and if multiple dates somehow equate to something unhealthy (you color them darkly as "steady relatinship"), then I guess each of the girls' "regulars" ought to be banned, which by the way would send a large number of providers into poverty. Your ever-so-macho approach may sound all-American to you, but I'll tell you son, the girls sigh relief and laugh when you're gone and pray never to find you lurking on a corner anywhere near where they are. In the final analysis I guess you're right ... you really just don't get it. And as combative as you are in defending that, I would think you'd use the time getting a handle on what your life and sex and sexuality are all about.
All you girls (and guys) looking in, looks like we've got ourselves an old-fashioned donnybrook here. I don't intend answering this guy again, so step in and say your piece.
I have to agree with Love2rim about you. You obviously crave and love the attention you are now getting.
I have a healthy respect for the women I meet, but lets not try to pretend this hobby is something other than exchanging money for sex. Why are are appoinments booked and paid for by the hour???
You may have other needs which are not being met through normal human interaction but most guys on this board are looking for a little variety and spice in their SEX LIFE. I have met many interesting and a few charming, intelligent women in this hobby but they and I both know what ultimatley the appoinment is for. We share an a very personal intimacy (hopefully enjoyable) but at the end of the encounter we both go our separate ways. If the relationship goes beyond that, it is only because the woman chooses to pursue it.
Your desperate attempt to manipulate your little audition for the opportunity to enjoy your company in public pretty much shows what you are all about.
What I would be careful about (if I were a provider) is his need to tell the world what he is up to. He has even admitted such. He is actually seeking a "sugar-daddy" relationship which is not that uncommon. But he really gets off on telling everyone about it which is what this PDA thing is all about.
My advice to the guy would be to keep this quiet. See some providers that you enjoy being with and approach them about this once they get to know you and feel comfortable with you. Trust has to be earned and quite frankly, I wouldn't trust you to keep it quiet.
As replied above to Parkwest14, gotten about all the good feedback I think I'm going to get and can do without the whacos so I'm off-board from here on out. As for trust, note that none of the girls I'm emailing and talking with is named in any of my posts, so no worries. My posts were to gather info, not disseminate it, but have to give a bit to get, so you're right that I've written pretty openly, but all genaric and that's all anyone will ever hear out of me. Will be intersting to see how much fun I have being what you call a sugar-daddy. Never considered this in that mode since $$$ not open ended, but guess feeling might be about the same and should be great fun. Thanks for reply and advice.
this had a familiar ring to it
=====================================================
http://theeroticreview.com/msgBoard/viewmsg.asp?MessageID=4024&boardID=10&page=
Posted by qp4 , 5/15/2003 7:51:36 AM
Regulars here may get tired of hearing it, but my recommendation goes to Ahvani every time. I remember the first time I was with her, and was nervous a hell because she was the first mixed race provider I'd been with, but she opened her door in a skin tight checkerboard dress and heels (and that's all!) that absolutely cleared my mind of everything else. She's a cross between several races and in person they all show, much more so than in her photos. She has that perfect buttermilk skin we all dream about and a great enhanced rack and a long look unusual for so small a girl. As for service, she'll be whatever you want her to be, just let her know. I'm not into the further out stuff she advertises, but she just understands where you want to go and takes you there. AND IF YOU READ THIS AHVANI, work on me to set another date because I know I haven't in a while and just need to be pushed. If you've lost my address just post here and I'll see it. That love thing I mentioned to you I have going keeps getting in the way but I think it's dying on the vine and that I need only some personal enticement to knock back at your door. Show BillyBob36 a great time if he calls. My reputation is on the line.
http://theeroticreview.com/msgBoard/viewmsg.asp?MessageID=4025&boardID=10&page=
Re:I am No Longer Offering GFE Sessions ... WHEW, scared me!
Posted by qp4 , 5/15/2003 8:04:32 AM
Hey Ahvani, scared me with that lead of yours. Don't even kid about stopping GFE. You're too natural and satisfying at it. See my reply above to BillyBob36 in his 5/16 post. You are damn hard to forget. Some of us need just a little extra personal enticing, and with that pretty certain I'll be back around. As for you other guys who might be reading this, you don't know what you're missing.
http://theeroticreview.com/msgBoard/viewmsg.asp?MessageID=4182&boardID=10&page=
Posted by qp4 , 5/26/2003 7:09:17 AM
Those who hang around here a bit probably are tired of my recommendations for Ahvani. My defense is that when I was starting out she was an early choice and about the only provider that filled all my criteria (young and gorgeous and adventurous and equal to all your other criteria). Much prettier and more approachable than her pics suggest, and whatever her racial mix, it's left her with glorious skin and a wonderful feel. Laid back and sociable and hot and talented - it's all there. She's probably mad as hell at me cause I'm into this love thing that's kept me away for a few months, but that's about over so sure I'll be back. Have fun ...
... and they don't seem to mind. More of us should do that. Nothing detailed like reviews, but much more noticeable. Seems to me we should help ATFs when we can ... they deserve it.
I wasn't trying to be a jerk, and I wasn't trying to start a donnybrook, and after reading my initial post multiple times - I still can't figure out where you get the "sophisticated verbiage". Is it because I used the word 'albeit' or 'committment'?
I was just trying to shed a little light upon a point of view that CLEARLY you have been in the dark about. My mistake. It's no skin off my back for me to join the others in snickering behind your back.
Sorry for giving you my point of view and best of luck in finding your next true love. I'm sure you'll be the envy of everyone in the restaurant. Have a nice day.
-- Modified on 10/1/2003 7:32:19 AM
-- Modified on 10/1/2003 7:32:53 AM
Why dont you just see what replies u get from providers and then decide between one of the replies and get done with it. Why are you creating such a big scene for this. If you get somebody like what you are aksing for then I am happy for you.. but I think you really dont want that.. all you want is to grab everybody's attention here and feel important..
LOL. Well stated. The guy can't take the least bit of constructive criticism. He's way too full of himself.
Hey guy, what you're after is SOOO easy to get. Why are making it so hard? You obviously would rather talk about it than do it. Many providers offer "Dinner Sessions" where you have dinner in a fine restaurant prior to "dessert". Plus most accept gifts, so all you have to do is take them a gift and then also offer to take them shopping. This is not difficult. I've never had a problem in the past finding a cute young thing willing to take money and gifts from me. But if you think they are sitting by the phone waiting to hear from you, you are a wacko.
Best of luck my friend.
So now we know there are 2 guys who just don't get it. BTW, "sophisticated verbiage" was a kind way of saying "overblown blabber". The whole thing's really very simple, but Neanderthal types need a fancy sounding place to hide and justify, and you've sure done that. You keep telling yourself you know what's going on. Good for the ego. Bye ...
-- Modified on 10/1/2003 11:31:49 AM
Ahvani - Doesn't it kinda give you the creeps that THIS guy (qp4) is your biggest fan.
Please give us the straight scoop. Would you ever really consider holding hands, necking in public, playing footsy under the table and playing the role of wifey with this 50-something loser?
qp4 - you need to learn to count. Parkwest14, simonsaid, rsekars, love2rim, Chi-guy, etc, etc. It's not JUST "2" guys who don't get it. Apparently it is the whole rest of the world who doesn't "get it." I guess just you and your bevy of providers who are just waiting to play fulltime girlfriend (still have yet to see evidence of even 1) who are in the know.
I tried to be civil, but there is no point in doing that with a delusional, pathetic moron like you. Please do us a favor and stop polluting this board with your "who wants to be my part time girlfriend, I'm really nice and I'll share my social security check with you" advertisements.
Have a nice day - DICKHEAD!
-- Modified on 10/1/2003 12:13:13 PM
The warning signs are all there aren't they? qp4 has shown he is vengeful, and paranoid. He actually thinks providers care about him and think about him after he leaves. A definate stalker type. Providers should be very wary. He can turn on you at any time.
Who also believe you have some serious issues to deal with qp4. Do us one more favor while you are at it, use paragraphs in your rants so we wont get the idea that you have no control in any facet of your life whatsoever.
Everything you said hit the nail right on the head. Yes, this guy sounds like a total wack job. This is coming from a provider's perspective, speaking under alias. I think the fact that he continues to post this message shows pathetic desperation. And how he got so defensive and angry when several people pointed out his obvious faults.....one doth protest too much!
Mr Q- What you are seeking may not be unreasonable to SOME providers. Everyone has a right to post reasonable requests. But you have taken yours too far. In my opinion, I think you have somewhat of an unhealthy fixation on the lovely Ahvani and keep posting in hopes that SHE will be your GFE with extras.....you keep hinting that there are so many girls that want to take you up on your offer, yet you also keep hinting that it is her you truly want. Well, you are going about things in the wrong way and if she didn't like you enough to do this type of arrangement before, then she probably won't be influenced by your current posts. Give it a rest! You need to spend some of that 10-15K hobbying fund on some much needed therapy.
So maybe the guy is lonely and expressing his feelings? Is that a crime or something?
Talaya ... Are you unfortunately in the list of providers that he claims has contacted him for this deal... 
For your own good I hope not 
I think the guy may be lonely and really is looking for a GF. Everyone telling him to get a life isn't nice. How about some constructive advice instead of tearing him down? And telling someone to get a life is NOT constructive IMO.