BDSM

On orgasm control, tease and denial, etc.
RobinArdeur See my TER Reviews 1370 reads
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Tease and denial, for me, is about ramping up the sexual energy of the bottom. Teasing them into a state of frustration, desperation and intense need for release, and then taking the stimulation away. This can put some people into an intensely submissive (and sometimes even worshipful) mind state, which is the thing about engaging in it as a dominant that pleases me the most. It can go on for a long time. When I have negotiated a lover's orgasms under my control, I like to tease them a lot to remind them that only I have the power to make them come. I have ended my T&D, short-term and extended, in a few ways: an orgasm, a ruined orgasm (those are harder to control), walking away, and a chastity cage. The cage turns T&D into straight up denial. MmMmm.  

Edging is a really delicate process of getting to the brink of orgasm and then giving yourself a tiny break to cool down, then getting yourself to the brink of orgasm (which, as you go on, becomes more and more intense) and then cooling down, over and over again.... you're in a constant state of near-orgasmic bliss. Finally, when/if you DO come, the orgasm tends to be totally mindblowing. I edge myself all the time. If you fuck up the timing, though, this can easily lead to a ruined orgasm. It can also be longer term (think days or weeks). This state of near-orgasm is said to be good for creativity over longer periods of time. I don't know first-hand because I'm greedy and like to come a lot.  

I can't really speak to the merits of ruined orgasms. They're not something I'm into giving or receiving, 'cause they make me sad. I'm sure someone else reading this who enjoys them can give you some insight.

Is a ruined orgasm always part of CBT?  Yes, no, maybe, sometimes, depends???

Just wondering...

No, and that's actually a different type of play ("tease and denial" for no orgasm, or other forms of taking over the control of when you ejaculate, like prostate milking).  CBT is short for cock and ball torture -- the abbreviation means what it says, and says what it means.    

CBT can certainly end with orgasm, if you are able to achieve and maintain erection while your johnson is being abused, that is!  It's just (pardon the pun) HARD.

Thanks LeChiffre for your response.  I realize now that my early Alzheimer's brain screwed up my own question.  
Yeah, CBT is pretty obvious.  What I meant to ask about was tease & denial.  My question was prompted by some videos I recently watched about ruined orgasms and tease & denial.  The tease video used the abbreviation T&D, but I typed CBT, which was more familiar to me.

So, to rephrase...

The terms T&D, edging, and ruined orgasm.  I am guessing there are similarities, but important differences.  Could someone elaborate for me?  Thanks!  I am curious, but I want to make sure I know what I am talking about if/when I decide to explore these options.

Tease and denial, for me, is about ramping up the sexual energy of the bottom. Teasing them into a state of frustration, desperation and intense need for release, and then taking the stimulation away. This can put some people into an intensely submissive (and sometimes even worshipful) mind state, which is the thing about engaging in it as a dominant that pleases me the most. It can go on for a long time. When I have negotiated a lover's orgasms under my control, I like to tease them a lot to remind them that only I have the power to make them come. I have ended my T&D, short-term and extended, in a few ways: an orgasm, a ruined orgasm (those are harder to control), walking away, and a chastity cage. The cage turns T&D into straight up denial. MmMmm.  

Edging is a really delicate process of getting to the brink of orgasm and then giving yourself a tiny break to cool down, then getting yourself to the brink of orgasm (which, as you go on, becomes more and more intense) and then cooling down, over and over again.... you're in a constant state of near-orgasmic bliss. Finally, when/if you DO come, the orgasm tends to be totally mindblowing. I edge myself all the time. If you fuck up the timing, though, this can easily lead to a ruined orgasm. It can also be longer term (think days or weeks). This state of near-orgasm is said to be good for creativity over longer periods of time. I don't know first-hand because I'm greedy and like to come a lot.  

I can't really speak to the merits of ruined orgasms. They're not something I'm into giving or receiving, 'cause they make me sad. I'm sure someone else reading this who enjoys them can give you some insight.

I can talk about ruined orgasm. This is a process where the giver tries to make a man or woman have an orgasm that doesn't feel good, or feels only somewhat pleasurable. After this, the receiver could try to masturbate, but it will not be possible to achieve orgasm, because s/he has already had one and is spent.  

This is not an activity with a guaranteed outcome. It is more like an attempt. It may be that the receiver has a pleasurable orgasm. It could happen that no release occurs, leaving masturbation as a possibility (hey, that is kind of hot). It is really fun to try, tho. My experience has been that I could always give my male partners a ruined orgasm, but with my female partners, it was more hit or miss. (I am poly and bisexual in my personal life)

This may or may not be accompanied by verbal humiliation, eg "You can try all you want to cum, but you won't be able to. You little pleasure slut, you. All you care about is cumming and pleasure. Well, there is more to life than pleasure and orgasms."

I wish Rachael and Robin lived in Philly,no one here understands true tease and denial like these two practice.

Posted By: rachelsonoma
I can talk about ruined orgasm. This is a process where the giver tries to make a man or woman have an orgasm that doesn't feel good, or feels only somewhat pleasurable. After this, the receiver could try to masturbate, but it will not be possible to achieve orgasm, because s/he has already had one and is spent.  
   
 This is not an activity with a guaranteed outcome. It is more like an attempt. It may be that the receiver has a pleasurable orgasm. It could happen that no release occurs, leaving masturbation as a possibility (hey, that is kind of hot). It is really fun to try, tho. My experience has been that I could always give my male partners a ruined orgasm, but with my female partners, it was more hit or miss. (I am poly and bisexual in my personal life)  
   
 This may or may not be accompanied by verbal humiliation, eg "You can try all you want to cum, but you won't be able to. You little pleasure slut, you. All you care about is cumming and pleasure. Well, there is more to life than pleasure and orgasms."

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