Things to Do to Liven Up Thanksgiving Dinner
1. Load your plate up high, then take it to the kitchen, toss it all in the blender, and take your "shake" back to the table. Announce that it's the new Thanksgiving Weight Loss Shake.

2. When everyone goes around to say what they are Thankful for, say, "I'm thankful I didn't get caught" and refuse to say anything more.

3. Bring along old recorded football games, pop them in the VCR when Dad's not looking. Make sure it is set to the last two minutes of the game. When he comes into the room, turn off the VCR and turn on the regular TV to the lifetime womens network.

4. Bring a date that only talks about the tragic and abusive conditions known to exist at turkey farms.

5. During mid-meal turn to mom and say, "See mom, I told you they wouldn't notice that the Turkey was past expiration date. You were worried for nothing."

6. Make a huge pile of mashed potoatos into a mountain on your plate and keep insisting that the ailens sent you this message.

7. Take a turkey leg, and sit at the head of the table and sing "I'm Henry the Eighth I am" over and over again.

8. Sit at the kids table and tell them all they get to choose from a plate of turkey beaks, or turkey feet, the meat goes to the adults.

9. Insist on having "Breast Meat" only. Keep smiling and licking you lips and repeat Breast Meat is sooo juicy....mmmm I like big breasts.

10. Enjoy your meal, enjoy your family and be thankful you can have this holiday together!