So I had a guy ask me if I do greek and I said no... HE says to me "well you are not a true sub"
I was flabbergasted by this... first of all, I do geek but in my personal and not this arena. Also maybe I am different, but I cant just let a person I have never met, and have not established or built up trust with (which is HUGE for me in D/s) come in and do whatever he damn well feels. I have to start a bit slow, then let the limits expand as our trust develops. This may be quicker with some men than others... so because I wont just let them do whatever they ask, I am not a true sub? Opinions?Keep in mind that a lot of dommes and subs don't even do FS.
Boundaries should not be confused with orientation.
some guy who is totally clueless what a REAL dom is supposed to be, and he comes in and ties me up, beats me, robs me etc...
No it has never happened, but really, it could at any time...and so I make sure to start LIGHT and SOFT till I KNOW I can trust them (or my gut says I can)
If several people give you compliments and one person says something negative, it’s human nature to dwell on the negative. Don’t. The guy who said that to you clearly demonstrates a fundamental lack of understanding what D/s is all about. Although obedience for a submissive if key, only obedience within the established parameters is required. You should never do anything you don’t feel comfortable in doing, and don’t give it a second thought. Although I am a Dom, it’s up to the sub to establish firmly your limits and boundaries before beginning a training session. I suggest you stay away from that fool. I have met many submissive women who have been physically hurt and abused by guys who have no clue about D/s and think it just means rough sex. I have my own fully equipped private dungeon and when I built it my priority was to ensure a sub’s safety and comfort first. Do what feels right for you.
https://www.slixa.com/under-cover/174-safety-tips-for-pro-subs-what-to-do-during
...It's bullshit, obviously. More 'extreme' power exchange and D/s (or M/s) play takes a huge amount of trust, and people that wanted that kind of play with me up front were demonstrating their incomprehension of basic BDSM. Huge red flag. I had the most fun with clients that understood that it takes time and demonstration of trustworthiness to enter into a D/s dynamic, or that were into it as a lighthearted roleplay.
I don't believe in 'true submissives' and 'true dominants'. Submissives, slaves and bottoms are powerful people in their ability to let go. Most of the people touting the 'twue sub' thing just want someone who will do whatever they want regardless of if they are comfortable with it or not. That's not a submissive, that's someone who is being taken advantage of. Having limits is extremely important regardless of if you're on the top or bottom.
......I couldn't have nodded anymore or any harder at your reply especially the 2nd paragraph. Great response 
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Well well well said! Sounds like the kind of guy you don't want to be playing with to me.
By definition, you are acting as a "service bottom" if you are working professionally, just as a dominatrix would really be working as a "service Top" professionally. It is impossible to be a "true sub" to a client because you're not even in a D/s relationship -- Y/you're just play partners for the hour -- so please don't let his insult to your gift of submission resonate.
He's confused "Dominant" with being an asshole. Unfortunately, all too common.
They will tell you anything!
Sorry the "geek" typo was a cute one!
Submission is not about specific sexual acts. That guy is dumb....