This thread is very interesting. Thanks guys, for expressing how a session can do wrong if the Domme is not sensitive to the needs of her subject. My opinion is that a Domination session requires careful planning. One size does not fit all. It is a fine line to walk to figure out how the Domme will have her needs met, and how she will meet her subject's needs too.
Do you feel that since you are paying, she should address one of your main interests? What if you gave her more than one interest, yet you only booked one hour? Would you still expect her to address two or more interests?When I was responding to another thread I flashed on a provider that killed the fun of the session. In that case she appeared to overreact to a request. I've had another where a woman seems to really want to talk about her personal life/problems while I was hoping to get into subspace.
How 'bout you guys/girls?
If I express (gently) that something doesn't work for me or is turning me off, why would one continue to do it?? Tickling is one of these gray areas for me. Light, teasing, sensual ticking is great, but tickle torture where I'm pinned down is a huge downer, just makes me grumpy and resentful. I always give my honest feedback, but once in a while, a partner just chooses to ignore it. I can't help but feel disrespected and not valued as a person, submissive or woman. Grump!
For me it's Dommes who don't get that my love of CBB is counter-balanced by my dislike of CBT. If a lady really needs to let her sadistic side our there are areas where while I'm not a true masochist I can handle a reasonable amount. CBT, however, is totally non-erotic for me and I have really been disappointed a couple of times by Dommes who haven't understood that. I guess it all goes back to Sexylittlesubkat's point about ignoring communication and feedback.
This thread is very interesting. Thanks guys, for expressing how a session can do wrong if the Domme is not sensitive to the needs of her subject. My opinion is that a Domination session requires careful planning. One size does not fit all. It is a fine line to walk to figure out how the Domme will have her needs met, and how she will meet her subject's needs too.
Do you feel that since you are paying, she should address one of your main interests? What if you gave her more than one interest, yet you only booked one hour? Would you still expect her to address two or more interests?
Excellent questions. I've been told by Dommes that a lot of their subs really have 1 specific fetish. If I only had 1 or 2 "things" then I would expect them to be involved in a 1 hour session. In my case I have a fairly long list of interests. I usually like to send a Domme an introductory email where I break them down into favorites, things I like, and new things I'm interested in trying. I like to give them a variety of activities to choose from so they can pick and choose things they particularly like as well. Usually they are good at hitting on at least a couple of favorites, and I find they often like to squeeze in a new experience for me as well. Apparently most Dommes are explorers!
Hopefully 1 of these days I'll get a really long session in where someone can try and run through my full list. I have a 3 hour session coming up in Europe and am really looking forward to seeing how it unfolds.
I agree - the more thought a domme puts into it, the more likely I'll want to repeat. It's not so much "pre planning" as it is thoughtfulness once we get started.
I have a couple of things I "crave" for every session, which I run through once the provider and I are communicating. Then, if she wants it, I'd giver her a list, or mention what would be off limits.
My issue is that I usually want a session on fairly short notice. I'm still trying to find a few providers I trust, who meet my needs and who are available with little notice.