...And then do something feverishly diabolical. Like one time I linked stretchy rubber bands to my subs ball bracelet, then I hooked the last in the string of rubber bands to the ceiling fan above. I smiled brightly as I flipped on the wall switch, then I sang, "Here we go 'round in circles"...
PS As cruel and scary as it sounds, I designed it (and tested it over and over) so that, in actuality there is almost no pull at all. (Ceiling fan is directly above, rubber bands are ultra stretchy and attached to inside of blade) I do not like to inflict pain at all. But the illusion...Somewhere down below I posted about the phenomenon of "pay pigs" and along the same lines I would like to comment on another aspect of professional BDSM that seems to be growing in popularity but which turns me off greatly. That would the "Mean Bitch" persona. For example see "www.meanbitches.com". On that website you can watch video clips of guys in subservient positions giving pleasure to women but mostly being forced to do it (supposedly) against their wills.
I would happily trade place with any of the guys in those video clips but what is the point of the meanness? Most submissive guys and probably even a lot of guys that aren't submissive would love to serve a woman like that so I really don't get it.
Just like not every guy is submissive or a slave there are guys who does seek out women who are extremely mean. I have had guys say to me the meaner the better when requesting a session. To each their own but also it's good that I'm very versatile where I understand the sensual to extreme aspect of BDSM. Just a thought and I hope this help!
For me, the best Dommes have a bit of care/compassion mixed in. Fine to totally take it to the limit during session, and absolutely want it to be real and Her having a great time giving abuse & humiliation.
However, if they saw you on the street, would care whether you lived or died (and not just for your bank account.) In other words, realize that you are human being and all that goes with it.
We are all different, and to each their own, but i want a Domme that wouldn't do anything to ruin my life or permanently injure me.
I am a Sensual Dom (about to do the Bondassage training!!) and the corporal, "mean" thing does nothing for me...but I do love to be in charge!! I don't see why you can't be both loving and in charge, but if the situation warrents it...as in "he" isn't doing as I command...I will get rather bossy.
Funny, another lady told me that when the guys try and top from the bottom, she takes off her panties and sticks them in their mouth as a gag! I love that...now, is that mean or simply taking control?
Never mistake kindenss for weakness!!
Great thread.
xoClair Jordan
I like women to be in charge too! Strict and demanding is fine and I don't consider "corporal" to be mean. A truly sadistic woman is wonderful and so is a superior attitude.
"Mean" is kind of hard to define - kind of like the supreme court justice said about pornography - "I can't define it but I know it when I see it.
While I tend to rather enjoy the MeanBitches videos, I agree completely that when I'm scheduling a session I want to play with someone who is happily dominant rather than seemingly angry/mean/anything other than looking forward to a fun session with me. I can understand the mean/angry fantasy, but that's just not my thing.
With that said, I often wonder if I'm in the minority. The photos on Dommes websites, for example, seem to seldom show the Domme smiling. This lady, for example, is one of the most beautiful Dominatrixes I've ever seen. http://davinadust.com/en/photos-14.html Based on my interaction with her she's intelligent, blessed with great natural beauty, and she makes quite a bit of money doing something that she really seems to enjoy. Yet there is not one picture of her smiling, and that's the rule rather than the exception on Domme's websites. This always makes me wonder if I'm one of the few subs who prefers to play with a Domme who is clearly having fun during a session.
I always ask the provider to me nice. I like the feeling that they are enjoying their time.
So as I said: I like 'em to be nice as they are wrenching my nipples are fucking my ass. 
I agree completely. A woman who is sweet and sensual can get me to do almost anything. I like to hear a domme laugh and see her smile as she is tormenting me. I try to avoid the full-time dommes who act mean during the entire session and appear to really hate men.
One of my favorite kink providers is pretty hard-core on stuff like protocol (If I just say "Yes", or "No", instead of "Yes, Mistress", or "No, Mistress", believe me, I will *not* be making the same mistake again that session. Sounds like the "mean bitch" type, right? Well, maybe so, but:
Every once in awhile, we can be deep in roleplay fantasy-land, and (assuming I'm not blindfolded) she'll give me a quick wink of an eye. I can't be sure, but I've always assumed that it's some sort of implicit message of reassurance: "Yes, we're playing some pretty out there adult games, but on some level I *am* aware that it is a game, and I'm letting you know that I know it".
All I can say is, it works for me. We can be playing as hardcore of a mean-bitch scenario as there might be, but on some deep subconscious level my mind is put at ease. We've discussed hard limits and safewords, naturally; but if she ever decided to try to push the envelope a little bit..well, there's probably no place she would try to take me that I wouldn't be willing to go to.
...And then do something feverishly diabolical. Like one time I linked stretchy rubber bands to my subs ball bracelet, then I hooked the last in the string of rubber bands to the ceiling fan above. I smiled brightly as I flipped on the wall switch, then I sang, "Here we go 'round in circles"...
PS As cruel and scary as it sounds, I designed it (and tested it over and over) so that, in actuality there is almost no pull at all. (Ceiling fan is directly above, rubber bands are ultra stretchy and attached to inside of blade) I do not like to inflict pain at all. But the illusion...