Why can't you have both??? I have been married for 18 years, and only recently discovered the joys of the escorting world. Passion fades over time, both parties get older and though I think the love remains, and may even strengthens over time, that sexual desire for your long-term partner inevitably fades.  Even the man who married Halle Berry cheated on her, so it's not about looks or desirability!
Hobbying has brought a spark and excitement back to my life, and even the whole covert nature of the activity is exciting to me, my own little secret that is set apart from my civilian life. Making the phone calls, going to the hotels, waiting for the door to open and be greeted by an exquisite escort.  Can't beat it, and as long as it remains secret and one can afford it, who does it hurt?
The right escort will make you feel years younger and with an ATF I find it hard NOT to develop certain feelings, but I wouldn't leave my wife for all the escorts in the WORLD! LOL!