I'm all for creative play.. And I feel that people that know what they are good at should "stay in their lane". I'm a top, and am more comfortable staying that way in play!
If anything, the one scenario that I do get into is the meek woman that ends up getting fed up with how her boss/landlord treats her and exacts revenge.. That gets hot and fun seeing my participant get excited and scared! 
I hear this all the time & the fact is I do not have to!
We have the freedom to, do almost anything. I play without judgement. I also, agree with the gentlemen who stated to be a good Domina you have to start off submissive.
* In my early college years I worked for an agency that sent me out as a white blonde girlie who was submissive & for 1k an hour every week I played sub to a Dr. who exposed me to every aspect of the BDSM life-style it was, then where I gained respect for this sweet underground playtime! To really respect this Art it helps to have been there & done that.
The funny fact is most real Dommes play submisive to someone in their civie lives regardless.
Thanks for sharing. I just love TER for adding this BDSM section for all of us naughty boys & girls!
" To really respect this Art it helps to have been there & done that."
Welp, being an artist as long as I have been in this scene, you gotta know what works best for you - and you only. Not everyone started off the same (clearly - I started, for instance as a teen that attended parties and in her mid 20s started at a house) nor is everyone's philosophy is the same... Nor is everyone doing the same thing or with same motivation (whether financial or otherwise).
Being that I know myself and my experiences (which, I can certainly say, unequivocally, is quite interesting) I can only judge myself and my judgement is to stay in my lane. Besides, anyone that knows me, would attest, I'm better off that way than to end up ruining a good time.. If I subbed, I'm a SAM...
PS- I did an interview a while ago, where I was asked did I sub in my private time. My answer: of course, to Domina Visa, MasterCard and the taxman...
Dante Posh is the real deal. She is deeply into the scene, having hosted a brunch at the Essex Street Market where about a dozen people talked about BDSM. She is following in the path of the great American/European dommes, sessions in Europe lasting a day, not an hour.
I don't know who Madame P is, but Dante thinks deeply.
You can, do a little homework here on TER to discover I am on the top 100 list in my home town San Diego, and again on the National 100 list as the on twin duo on TER. I am something, like a BIG deal!
Not your traditional, or average Mistress. I consider myself to be an Elite Domina & the Queen of all traits!
I find it flattering when sub's feel the need to post on their Dommes behalf to cute.
....ASSume.
"I find it flattering when sub's feel the need to post on their Dommes behalf to cute."
I find it insulting (and very juvy) when a "big deal" domme speculates so openly an assumption about another domme... A WRONG assumption at that. Very lame.
If you have any questions, ask away. Otherwise... Keep your assumptions to yourself. I'm known to speak on my own behalf, thankyousoverymuch, so rest assure, I need not a spokesperson to opine on my behalf. And truth be told, minus my last posting, I haven't seen any reason to express anything further. If I did, I would certainly do so.
Captyve is a known player (hobbiest is the term?) in the NYC bdsm scene That ive had the good fortune to meet and know of for over *cough cough* years. Hes good for a convo, especially concerning BDSM and the lifestyle. It would be a far stretch on your part to proclaim him as "my sub".
Check...
-- Modified on 3/21/2013 1:51:06 PM
-- Modified on 3/21/2013 1:53:19 PM
I got into bdsm years ago in NYC when I went to a house of domination simply to find out what it was like. I was pleased with the sensuous aspects of it -- getting tied up and teased, in particular. So I went back from time to time. At one point, I picked a "domme" who told me, once we were in the room, that she was submissive by nature, and wanted to be dominated. Having been dominated myself, I knew what to do, and started in on her. Well, the light bulb went off! I found myself in a head space that went deep to the marrow of my bones, and discovered that, in fact, I'm dominant.
Since then I've been primarily dominant, but occasionally will switch. The difference for me is that dominance gives me an emotional an psychological rush, in addition to the sensuous aspects. Being submissive is great for the tease and denial and ultimate release, but I don't get into the submissive head space.
But....I've always believed that a good dom has to start out as a submissive.
It is the (safe) loss of control of one of the partners and the delicious and exciting (and not big time painful) complete control of the other that excites
I started out in the lifestyle as a submissive, but I found I enjoyed the Top role a whole heck of a lot! After being strictly a Top for a couple of years, I decided I needed much more bottoming in order to get balanced. Even though I do enjoy Top space, and can sometimes float for hours on the energy of just one session, sub space is such a different place to go for me.
I have been able to lots more bottoming lately, and am really enjoying blending both Topping and bottoming into a session.
K
make the best Prisoners...
Since I was unwillingly introduced to BDSM in my early teens through a game of spin the bottle my desire has been to be the Master and to tie others up tight and administer torment. Unfortunately when I became a Provider in the Busn a majority of the requests have been for me to be the prisoner / captive. A female Provider I used to team up with frequently a few years ago would tell me that since I was Dominant it made the sessions where the request was for me to be tied down and punished against my will more realistic and arousing for the Clients. She would also tell me it aroused her too when I was tied down during sessions knowing that I was strictly Dominant. She would joke with me before sessions saying things like ' I wonder how tight your going to be stretched out today?" or ""Hmmm, I wonder if the Client will make me bite your Cock again today?"
She was a switch and a lot of our sessions were revenge role plays where the Client and I would tie her down first then they would trick me or drug me then both of them would tie me down for revenge. The Clients were told ahead of time that she would only be avail for light torment but when I would get tied down she would always go to the extreme side almost torture on me. So after we would have her gagged and tied to the stretching rack I would tell them to go rougher IE: turn the cranks more, bite her nipples harder etc. Then I would call her names that I knew she hated to be called like Whore, Deep Throater and Spoiled Bitch. When it came my turn during the session to be drugged then tied down she would be full of "piss and vinegar"and I would be in for a "rough time.
Did I read that correctly? Wow I am learning a lot everyday here.
A very special person just left my side after an intense session of electro-play (giving), needles (receiving), ass fucking (giving), choking (receiving), sandpapering (giving), biting (giving)...and so the list goes on.
I'm mostly a bottom, but when the right partner comes across your path and inspires your sadistic side, a girl can't say no! But it's hard for me to switch when I already have an established dynamic with my partner. I like my Tops to top, my Bottoms to bottom, but the switches get the best of both worlds!
I am a true submissive. I have tried the Domme role on a few occasions but it does not come naturally to me. I did recently have a great experience though, with a man who wanted me to be his Goddess. Somehow we just clicked. Usually I am much more comfortable in my subbie role.
By nature (and preference), I've always naturally been a submissive type, but I've always kept an entry on my list of fantasies one where I find a domme who wants to teach me how to top.
I'd feel uncomfortable trying to be a top without some level of instruction (truly I'd be afraid of going too far and hurting someone!)...
Anybody ever have/give top lessons?
I have taken on the Dominant role with a man before and enjoyed it. I secured him spread-eagled to the bed and "forced" him to please me. Sat on his face, called him my slut, rode him and told him he was not allowed to cum because his role was to please ME. HOWEVER, I was only able to do it with him blind-folded. I would have felt much too shy and self-conscious otherwise.
AND
When I released the ropes he flipped me over and fucked me in the ass before CIM. Which was perfect. I needed to return to that submissive role to feel completely satisfied.
However
With other women I need to be the dominate.
Posted By: Madame Patricia
I am a naturally dominant woman, but I enjoy playing submissive occasionally with certain players whom I trust. How do you feel about creative play & switching roles?
I find it can be fun, plus it adds spice to the relationship!
Me! I've always switched (even before I knew there was a name for it), and find it fulfilling when I can do so with the same person. I am naturally dominant and selectively submissive. So, it's rare that I'm able to Dom/sub in the same session. But when I do, it's heaven.
R
I'm dominant by nature and generally never switch. I have however switched a few times with trusted play mates (outside of this realm) and enjoyed it. I find being a top a more natural position for me.
It's all about having fun and enjoying new experiences!
Cheers,
Grace
I am naturally submissive, but I can switch!! I really love being a sub tho!!
I'd consider myself neither top nor bottom. I'm just a fetishist - I'm much more into what's being done than who's doing it to whoever else.
Case in point, I'm a lingerie fetishist. I love dressing myself for a date, and get incredibly excited over wardrobe requests! Additionally, I very much enjoy being dressed or undressed by my lover. Obviously, depending on the scenario I can play Dominant or submissive and still enjoy myself very much. I also enjoy dressing men, though it gets difficult because most of my wardrobe won't fit them
I generally play a Dominant role, as it takes me quite a while for me to feel comfortable submitting to a new partner. I'd say I'm a switch, but I'm not even really into power exchange unless it heightens the effectiveness of the particular pleasurable act that's the focus of the encounter.
