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I am not a provider, but my wife is. I will give one guys point of view on having his wife in this.

Posted 5/20/2012 at 1:36:41 PM

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I have a few questions for you first. Why are you asking? Are you feeling bad for fornicating with a married provider? Are you thinking of Marriage with a provider? Are you just wondering how it works?

Quote:
Posted By: Hackva
I have often thought of the lovely providers who are married and want to what their relationships are like with their husbands?


I am married to a sex worker. My marriage is much like many others. We have a son we love and raise together. There are times we fight and argue and there are times we are in total harmony. We love each other. We get on each others nerves. We are each others best friend. We are a team. The  only differences between my marriage and many more standard marriages, she f*cks others for money, and we both pay to f*ck other at times. We are open about it.

Quote:
Posted By: Hackva
How do you separate escorting from your marriage?


Exactly how everyone separates their work form their home life.

Now I think your real question is how do we keep are marriage strong, yet play in this life. Is that what you meant to ask?

Honesty and openness are key. Lies are even more damning when you add in the nature of my wife's job and my hobbying. A no lies policy is key, we stick with it even if it is hard. If both parties follow it things can work. Dishonesty will doom any relationship as it will allow for a lot of doubt. Thing are difficult enough without the lies.

I try not to compare myself to her clients. I don't read her review, they can add needless jealousy. I  remember,they are only getting the fantasy version of my wife, I get the whole lady. I remember I am the one she loves and the person she comes home to. She doesn't even like some of her clients. In the end my wife's clients are her job not her love. In the end the ladies I see are just a bit of entertainment, I do not love them like I do my wife.

I find it helpful to go on regular dates with my wife. Time to just enjoy each other, no kids, no work, no distractions. Just go out and have fun and talk like we are dating. You also may want to try that. It has helped me and my wife a lot. Have fun with her. I know you are doing this now but keep it up during the whole relationship

I never use her job as a weapon. It would hurt her and it will poison our relationship. we take time just to talk. We make it a point just to talk each day. I surprise her with small gifts like flowers. We help each other with what ever the other need help with. We both clean up around the house.

We forgive each other for our failings. There has been times my wife has done things that could have ended the marriage and I too have screwed up big time. Thing is we got past them because we forgave each other and moved on.

We have set rule to our outside play we both follow.

I can book one session a week that is no longer than two hours as can she. This session can have as many providers as I can afford and I can invite the her if I wish and vise-versa and it don't count against the once a week for the other. All providers must be approved  by the other.  Condoms are required for camel-slides, FS, and anal. No seeing the same provider more than onces ever two months. No gifts to providers without permission worth more than $25. I am to get tested for STDs monthly. I must tell her anything she asks about my paid sessions and must inform her about them after the fact. My wife does see paid providers from time to time and always invites me to join if it OK with the provider. She is very bi.

I am allowed to provide if I can find any takers. Any of you ladies want my services? Other than I must play safe I have no rules imposed by her.

My wife is only allowed to provide at a legal brothel in Nevada that we made an agreement with. She as required by law is tested weekly. She must while maintaining the discretion of her clients answer any questions I ask about her providing honestly. I am not allowed to ask about her clients names or other identifying information. She cannot gift clients. These rules are for risk mitigation. No pandering charges for me and she has a bouncer to protect her if a client gets out of control. Take much of the worry for her safety out of it.

Communication, respect, forgiveness and honesty are paramount. They make it possible, just like any other marriage.

Quote:
Posted By: Hackva
How does your husband feel about his wife being in the 'biz' ?


When I first herd she returned to escorting it was damn hard. I am not the best looking of men. I am not the greatest lover a woman could hope for. I have often wondered why she chose me when she could have found a man that more desirable to most women. I was insecure and I was hurt by her deception. I also worry for her. Women are raped in those brothels all the time. I also never wanted or asked for an open marriage.

But I come to accept how things are. I am no longer jealous of her clients. They get a fantasy, a lie. I get the real woman with all of her great and not so great sides. She chose me, she does not chose her clients. She loves me, so I have nothing to be jealous as of as hobbying has taught me how meaningless sex is without love, and she does not love her clients. She comes home to me.

While I preferred the  monogamous marriage I use to have I have chosen to stay and live this life style. I is working for us even if it isn't what I had in mind. I love and support my wife and that is all that matters.

P.S. If this is about worrying about seeing married, As a hobbyist it is not your job to worry about the relationship between the provider you are seeing and her husband. You are not the one who took vows, it is a privet matter between them. It is best kept that way. Some prefer an open relationship.

I wish my wife did not provide, but I do not fault the men she sees. Just like it is not the providers fault that some men who are married chose to see them. The provider did not cheat the man did.

And if this is about you wanting to marry a provider, it can work, but it is hard. Things are stack against you. And ask yourself this do you love the real woman or just her "stage persona" or the perfect her? They are not the same person. Also ask if she loves you as well before you do anything stupid.

If this was for kicks, hope you had fun.



 

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