TER General Board

Re: Umm..teeth_smile
wrapthoselegs 11 Reviews 218 reads
posted

then very nicely done on the business side.  It's just a safety issue too many ladies neglect.  I'm glad that you are a thinking woman as well as sexy (dang, I need more business trips to your neck of the woods after looking at your pics).  
But to be fair, you did imply that you should have picked up on the flirting and used it to your advantage.  That's all good until you cross the line past flirting.  And your line might be different than your potential landlord's line.  Don't want him thinking he's getting any action once you sign the lease.  Especially since as far as he is concerned you are just one more sexy girl in the city trying to make ends meet.  "nothing to see here, folks; move it along"
Sounds like you've mostly found the balance though.

Please note that nothing in this post should imply that I am opposed to women using their feminine wiles and a little extra leg, cleavage, brush of the hand, etc. to get something they want.  Non-providers do it all the time.  You should have full access to those same options.
You've got it.  Flaunt it.  The world is a better place for your having done so.

Posted By: DestinyDelight
But my professional and personal lives are separate.....

He has no idea I'm a provider...

I'm sorry if I implied that somewhere....
Posted By: wrapthoselegs
I'm going to back the good advise above up from the landlord/hobbyist side.
I have leased units to providers before.  It was so tempting and seemingly very positive in both situations.  Basically, I was a regular, and we had good chemistry.  They are both excellent providers but also clearly excellent people who just happen to be providers.   They were in need of a new space due to landlords who were actually pulling some of the stuff you are describing (but after the lease was signed and they were living/working there).  My offer of a good space was a good offer and both loved the high-rise condos.

It just gets messy and sometimes uncomfortable after that point though.  I personally did not visit them as a hobbyist any more in order to keep our relationship less confused.  But it was always a hassle from an ownership standpoint.  As if often the case, they wanted to work out of their home (big mistake!).  Management companies and doormen start to notice if you have too many male visitors.
I clearly lost my "plausible deniability" as an owner and landlord should they ever have LE issues.  That could potentially have hurt both me and them.  It didn't but it could have.  It would be much better if I could have said "no, she was a great tenant.  paid on time.  very pleasant.  that's all I know."  So again, uncomfortable and messy even though we had a great personal and professional relationship.

Blah, blah, blah, I will stop the rambling story but, Destiny, stick to sage advice of the other providers here and elsewhere on this board ---- keep your professional and personal lives separate.  It will serve you well both short and long term.
Posted By: DestinyDelight
I do.  I'm very upfront.  I do legit things on the side that actually do pay me in cash.  I let them know my credit info, tax info, no paystub info, etc upfront because I don't want to be told no to.

I have other options and more places to see.  That was just a good deal..  I don't mind checking myself at dinner and not doing more.  

And I keep thinking that since he's subletting his place to me while he's out of the country...
Posted By: mistressjessica
while looking for a new place.

Ask if they will take your bank statements. Lots of times if you tell them you work for yourself and dont' have check stubs they will accept your bank statements....

Yes, you have to do what you have to do to get ahaed.. but.... don't lie to him,,
You are only setting yourself up for future expectations...

Its one thing to go to dinner with the plumber to get him to fix your toilet. It something else to
be a tenant in a place for a year or so when he has seen you naked and knew it was easy to get in your pants the first time and then.. god forbid he finds out what you do.... YOu are asking for trouble..

keep your business and your panties to yourself and those that need to know only

Looking at apartments, which is a pain because of no paystubs and all that jazz.  Found a cute one for a ridiculously low price in a great area.  Last night the owner sat and chatted with me in his place, tossing in making flirtatious comments.  "Oh, you are so beautiful, but I'm so old.."...  "The shower head is REALLY strong"  "You want to take sexy pictures?  Wound look good in here"  *WINK*  Automatically- my pretend prudeness came up.  "Noooooo, hahahha"

NOW I get it.  He wanted something, didn't he?  He offered to lower the deposit and engaged me in conversation for hours.  For being in this biz, I sure am slow when someone is flirting with me when I'm not expecting it.  What is WRONG with me???  I have like 5 days to find a place.  I should have flirted my ass off.  

Should I send an email and say anything?  I can't think of a darn thing.  

Thoughts?  

I'm screwed? *SIGH*

Girl, have you lost your damn mind?
Tell him simply you are NOT interested! I don't give a damn how rich or hot he is. .

If you trade a favor for a favor. it will bite  you in the ass!!!!!!!!!!!!

You do not ever date your landlord, your boss, your clients or your Friends husbands.. EVER!

Posted By: DestinyDelight
Looking at apartments, which is a pain because of no paystubs and all that jazz.  Found a cute one for a ridiculously low price in a great area.  Last night the owner sat and chatted with me in his place, tossing in making flirtatious comments.  "Oh, you are so beautiful, but I'm so old.."...  "The shower head is REALLY strong"  "You want to take sexy pictures?  Wound look good in here"  *WINK*  Automatically- my pretend prudeness came up.  "Noooooo, hahahha"

NOW I get it.  He wanted something, didn't he?  He offered to lower the deposit and engaged me in conversation for hours.  For being in this biz, I sure am slow when someone is flirting with me when I'm not expecting it.  What is WRONG with me???  I have like 5 days to find a place.  I should have flirted my ass off.  

Should I send an email and say anything?  I can't think of a darn thing.  

Thoughts?  

I'm screwed? *SIGH*

Oddly, I've never traded favors like that before...  Almost sounds hot.  

But it sounds like sound advice.  And like you know what you are talking about.

It's good it went over my head, then.  

I'll go for another place, then.

while looking for a new place.

Ask if they will take your bank statements. Lots of times if you tell them you work for yourself and dont' have check stubs they will accept your bank statements....

Yes, you have to do what you have to do to get ahaed.. but.... don't lie to him,,
You are only setting yourself up for future expectations...

Its one thing to go to dinner with the plumber to get him to fix your toilet. It something else to
be a tenant in a place for a year or so when he has seen you naked and knew it was easy to get in your pants the first time and then.. god forbid he finds out what you do.... YOu are asking for trouble..

keep your business and your panties to yourself and those that need to know only

I do.  I'm very upfront.  I do legit things on the side that actually do pay me in cash.  I let them know my credit info, tax info, no paystub info, etc upfront because I don't want to be told no to.

I have other options and more places to see.  That was just a good deal..  I don't mind checking myself at dinner and not doing more.  

And I keep thinking that since he's subletting his place to me while he's out of the country...

Posted By: mistressjessica
while looking for a new place.

Ask if they will take your bank statements. Lots of times if you tell them you work for yourself and dont' have check stubs they will accept your bank statements....

Yes, you have to do what you have to do to get ahaed.. but.... don't lie to him,,
You are only setting yourself up for future expectations...

Its one thing to go to dinner with the plumber to get him to fix your toilet. It something else to
be a tenant in a place for a year or so when he has seen you naked and knew it was easy to get in your pants the first time and then.. god forbid he finds out what you do.... YOu are asking for trouble..

keep your business and your panties to yourself and those that need to know only

I'm going to back the good advise above up from the landlord/hobbyist side.
I have leased units to providers before.  It was so tempting and seemingly very positive in both situations.  Basically, I was a regular, and we had good chemistry.  They are both excellent providers but also clearly excellent people who just happen to be providers.   They were in need of a new space due to landlords who were actually pulling some of the stuff you are describing (but after the lease was signed and they were living/working there).  My offer of a good space was a good offer and both loved the high-rise condos.

It just gets messy and sometimes uncomfortable after that point though.  I personally did not visit them as a hobbyist any more in order to keep our relationship less confused.  But it was always a hassle from an ownership standpoint.  As if often the case, they wanted to work out of their home (big mistake!).  Management companies and doormen start to notice if you have too many male visitors.
I clearly lost my "plausible deniability" as an owner and landlord should they ever have LE issues.  That could potentially have hurt both me and them.  It didn't but it could have.  It would be much better if I could have said "no, she was a great tenant.  paid on time.  very pleasant.  that's all I know."  So again, uncomfortable and messy even though we had a great personal and professional relationship.

Blah, blah, blah, I will stop the rambling story but, Destiny, stick to sage advice of the other providers here and elsewhere on this board ---- keep your professional and personal lives separate.  It will serve you well both short and long term.

Posted By: DestinyDelight
I do.  I'm very upfront.  I do legit things on the side that actually do pay me in cash.  I let them know my credit info, tax info, no paystub info, etc upfront because I don't want to be told no to.

I have other options and more places to see.  That was just a good deal..  I don't mind checking myself at dinner and not doing more.  

And I keep thinking that since he's subletting his place to me while he's out of the country...
Posted By: mistressjessica
while looking for a new place.

Ask if they will take your bank statements. Lots of times if you tell them you work for yourself and dont' have check stubs they will accept your bank statements....

Yes, you have to do what you have to do to get ahaed.. but.... don't lie to him,,
You are only setting yourself up for future expectations...

Its one thing to go to dinner with the plumber to get him to fix your toilet. It something else to
be a tenant in a place for a year or so when he has seen you naked and knew it was easy to get in your pants the first time and then.. god forbid he finds out what you do.... YOu are asking for trouble..

keep your business and your panties to yourself and those that need to know only

But my professional and personal lives are separate.....

He has no idea I'm a provider...

I'm sorry if I implied that somewhere....

Posted By: wrapthoselegs
I'm going to back the good advise above up from the landlord/hobbyist side.
I have leased units to providers before.  It was so tempting and seemingly very positive in both situations.  Basically, I was a regular, and we had good chemistry.  They are both excellent providers but also clearly excellent people who just happen to be providers.   They were in need of a new space due to landlords who were actually pulling some of the stuff you are describing (but after the lease was signed and they were living/working there).  My offer of a good space was a good offer and both loved the high-rise condos.

It just gets messy and sometimes uncomfortable after that point though.  I personally did not visit them as a hobbyist any more in order to keep our relationship less confused.  But it was always a hassle from an ownership standpoint.  As if often the case, they wanted to work out of their home (big mistake!).  Management companies and doormen start to notice if you have too many male visitors.
I clearly lost my "plausible deniability" as an owner and landlord should they ever have LE issues.  That could potentially have hurt both me and them.  It didn't but it could have.  It would be much better if I could have said "no, she was a great tenant.  paid on time.  very pleasant.  that's all I know."  So again, uncomfortable and messy even though we had a great personal and professional relationship.

Blah, blah, blah, I will stop the rambling story but, Destiny, stick to sage advice of the other providers here and elsewhere on this board ---- keep your professional and personal lives separate.  It will serve you well both short and long term.
Posted By: DestinyDelight
I do.  I'm very upfront.  I do legit things on the side that actually do pay me in cash.  I let them know my credit info, tax info, no paystub info, etc upfront because I don't want to be told no to.

I have other options and more places to see.  That was just a good deal..  I don't mind checking myself at dinner and not doing more.  

And I keep thinking that since he's subletting his place to me while he's out of the country...
Posted By: mistressjessica
while looking for a new place.

Ask if they will take your bank statements. Lots of times if you tell them you work for yourself and dont' have check stubs they will accept your bank statements....

Yes, you have to do what you have to do to get ahaed.. but.... don't lie to him,,
You are only setting yourself up for future expectations...

Its one thing to go to dinner with the plumber to get him to fix your toilet. It something else to
be a tenant in a place for a year or so when he has seen you naked and knew it was easy to get in your pants the first time and then.. god forbid he finds out what you do.... YOu are asking for trouble..

keep your business and your panties to yourself and those that need to know only

then very nicely done on the business side.  It's just a safety issue too many ladies neglect.  I'm glad that you are a thinking woman as well as sexy (dang, I need more business trips to your neck of the woods after looking at your pics).  
But to be fair, you did imply that you should have picked up on the flirting and used it to your advantage.  That's all good until you cross the line past flirting.  And your line might be different than your potential landlord's line.  Don't want him thinking he's getting any action once you sign the lease.  Especially since as far as he is concerned you are just one more sexy girl in the city trying to make ends meet.  "nothing to see here, folks; move it along"
Sounds like you've mostly found the balance though.

Please note that nothing in this post should imply that I am opposed to women using their feminine wiles and a little extra leg, cleavage, brush of the hand, etc. to get something they want.  Non-providers do it all the time.  You should have full access to those same options.
You've got it.  Flaunt it.  The world is a better place for your having done so.

Posted By: DestinyDelight
But my professional and personal lives are separate.....

He has no idea I'm a provider...

I'm sorry if I implied that somewhere....
Posted By: wrapthoselegs
I'm going to back the good advise above up from the landlord/hobbyist side.
I have leased units to providers before.  It was so tempting and seemingly very positive in both situations.  Basically, I was a regular, and we had good chemistry.  They are both excellent providers but also clearly excellent people who just happen to be providers.   They were in need of a new space due to landlords who were actually pulling some of the stuff you are describing (but after the lease was signed and they were living/working there).  My offer of a good space was a good offer and both loved the high-rise condos.

It just gets messy and sometimes uncomfortable after that point though.  I personally did not visit them as a hobbyist any more in order to keep our relationship less confused.  But it was always a hassle from an ownership standpoint.  As if often the case, they wanted to work out of their home (big mistake!).  Management companies and doormen start to notice if you have too many male visitors.
I clearly lost my "plausible deniability" as an owner and landlord should they ever have LE issues.  That could potentially have hurt both me and them.  It didn't but it could have.  It would be much better if I could have said "no, she was a great tenant.  paid on time.  very pleasant.  that's all I know."  So again, uncomfortable and messy even though we had a great personal and professional relationship.

Blah, blah, blah, I will stop the rambling story but, Destiny, stick to sage advice of the other providers here and elsewhere on this board ---- keep your professional and personal lives separate.  It will serve you well both short and long term.
Posted By: DestinyDelight
I do.  I'm very upfront.  I do legit things on the side that actually do pay me in cash.  I let them know my credit info, tax info, no paystub info, etc upfront because I don't want to be told no to.

I have other options and more places to see.  That was just a good deal..  I don't mind checking myself at dinner and not doing more.  

And I keep thinking that since he's subletting his place to me while he's out of the country...
Posted By: mistressjessica
while looking for a new place.

Ask if they will take your bank statements. Lots of times if you tell them you work for yourself and dont' have check stubs they will accept your bank statements....

Yes, you have to do what you have to do to get ahaed.. but.... don't lie to him,,
You are only setting yourself up for future expectations...

Its one thing to go to dinner with the plumber to get him to fix your toilet. It something else to
be a tenant in a place for a year or so when he has seen you naked and knew it was easy to get in your pants the first time and then.. god forbid he finds out what you do.... YOu are asking for trouble..

keep your business and your panties to yourself and those that need to know only

I agree with Jessica.I had something interesting happen to me. After deciding on looking at a place the owner came to my hotel to pick me up . When I got in the car I truly did not recognize him it had been a couple of years since his 2K member verification lol! He took me to his house to introduce me to his wife to get her approval. She was nasty and critical about my credit score back then.But he took over and rented to me. He would sorta hang out and try to strike up a conversation from time to time and as I thought of it his last name did ring a bell.I carried on like a tenant not someone in his past.I think it bewildered him because I never gave him a notion  that I remembered him.Keeping it on a business
level is wise.I would never want to be involved in that way with someone I met in this industry.That would feel like i moved in with him and you never know if they will stalk you,pull a peeping Tom on you of try to report you.Landlords hold the torch in court and you would never want to be outed .It would be alot harder for you to explain that a landlord made advances to you.Obsession is a bad omen.And he would be in trouble too for living off your funds.

This sounds like good advice.

But I see candy on the table......

I'm sure it was smart of you to keep it business.   He will be out of town during my short-term lease, though....  

Posted By: Angela_Petite2
I agree with Jessica.I had something interesting happen to me. After deciding on looking at a place the owner came to my hotel to pick me up . When I got in the car I truly did not recognize him it had been a couple of years since his 2K member verification lol! He took me to his house to introduce me to his wife to get her approval. She was nasty and critical about my credit score back then.But he took over and rented to me. He would sorta hang out and try to strike up a conversation from time to time and as I thought of it his last name did ring a bell.I carried on like a tenant not someone in his past.I think it bewildered him because I never gave him a notion  that I remembered him.Keeping it on a business
level is wise.I would never want to be involved in that way with someone I met in this industry.That would feel like i moved in with him and you never know if they will stalk you,pull a peeping Tom on you of try to report you.Landlords hold the torch in court and you would never want to be outed .It would be alot harder for you to explain that a landlord made advances to you.Obsession is a bad omen.And he would be in trouble too for living off your funds.

you will regret it later..never get trapped in a situation where there is no way out..look both ways before you cross the street..think twice..as enticing as it sounds i would run..wolves are always dressed in sheep,s clothing..



[quoteYou do not ever date your landlord, your boss, your clients or your Friends husbands.. EVER!

What's wrong with dating clients?  I regularly date my ATF and we're good friends too!

ahead in this world. Maybe you could say something like "after I get settled in the apt., maybe we can have cocktails one evening." See if that is the clincher for you.

Have you tried posting this on the providers' board?


I like that idea, keystonekid!!!!

MistressJessica???

Posted By: keystonekid
ahead in this world. Maybe you could say something like "after I get settled in the apt., maybe we can have cocktails one evening." See if that is the clincher for you.

Have you tried posting this on the providers' board?

I feel like there will be a lot of no's...

I can't believe people are saying no.

Don't be stupid.  You like the apartment, and can probably get it ridiculously cheap simply by being 'charming'. Once you have a contract, he has to abide by it.  And I'm sure he'll be the best landlord in town, if you simply get along well with him. You don't have to sleep with the guy (unless you want to, but why?). Just smile and giggle a lot and listen to his stories.  He will be happy to fix your toilet or your sink or help you move in or whatever. It's not even illegal!

I have looked at the pics in your ad, Destiny, and there's no way in hell that you have not worked guys for free stuff before without putting out.  Free drinks, rides home, help in school, whatever...  Right?

It's normal.  Some other girl ill score that apartment if you don't, and you'll still be living... where?  With the guy you kind of want to get rid of?  With parents?  Some roommate you are sick of?  Tell me that's not already selling out.


Thank you, A_New_Invention.

I like when people tell me to go for stuff that looks pretty damn good to me.

I just have been unsure how to go about it.  I don't think I'm great at getting stuff for free.  It has only happened accidentally before.   But- this looks like a good deal.

I can limit myself to flirting.  And- he'll be gone for my lease.  


Posted By: A_New_Invention
I can't believe people are saying no.

Don't be stupid.  You like the apartment, and can probably get it ridiculously cheap simply by being 'charming'. Once you have a contract, he has to abide by it.  And I'm sure he'll be the best landlord in town, if you simply get along well with him. You don't have to sleep with the guy (unless you want to, but why?). Just smile and giggle a lot and listen to his stories.  He will be happy to fix your toilet or your sink or help you move in or whatever. It's not even illegal!

I have looked at the pics in your ad, Destiny, and there's no way in hell that you have not worked guys for free stuff before without putting out.  Free drinks, rides home, help in school, whatever...  Right?

It's normal.  Some other girl ill score that apartment if you don't, and you'll still be living... where?  With the guy you kind of want to get rid of?  With parents?  Some roommate you are sick of?  Tell me that's not already selling out.


And I did for a second, then erased it and posted it here.

I wanted both the male and female perspective on this....

Posted By: keystonekid
ahead in this world. Maybe you could say something like "after I get settled in the apt., maybe we can have cocktails one evening." See if that is the clincher for you.

Have you tried posting this on the providers' board?

Wow, I can't believe you blew the opportunity.  Tell him you can't get the apartment out of your head, and enjoyed talking with him, but weren't sure it was in your price range.  Tell him you wonder if he'd be interested in meeting again to talk about it.  

Show up looking sexy, make sure he has a contract ready to sign (that's your payment!), and negotiate.

This stuff happens all the time. Even for guys. Once, I got an apartment (with pool!) absolutely free for an entire summer simply by watching gay porn with my landlord once in a while.  I'm sure he thought something was going to happen eventually. Not a chance.  But he didn't know that.  And he never got pissed off.  Heck, a year later he contacted me again to tell me that if I ever needed anything, let him know.

I am amazed by the idiots in this world..

Girl do whatever your instincts tell you...

OMG!!!!!!! really???

It must be nice to young, dumb and ignorant!

Ms, New invention got really lucky................

Jessica I agree with you !  Anyone who tells her go for it is as stupid s the day is long lol!

C'mon ladies, this is how business works.  The guy is going to rent the apartment to whomever he wants.  She has flaws in her application... lack of money & references. This particular guy is clearly blinded by her looks such that he is overlooking the flaws in her application.  She needs to take advantage of that!

At any other interview, if you happen to be from the same hometown as the interviewer, don't you bring that up and chat about your town and bond over that?  What if you know the same people or share a hobby?  You leverage these things!  The guy is turned on by her.  She should leverage it.  It's his mistake, not hers. As a landlord, he shouldn't be letting his dick do the thinking.  But if he's going to...

SHE DOESN"T HAVE TO ACTUALLY SLEEP WITH HIM.  In fact, it's better that she doesn't.  She just has to be charming.

For prostitutes, it's amazing how you ladies sometimes don't know jack shit about guys.

as hookers you don't know jack shit about us! You have a fake name, fake phone, fake address as in a hotel, and that's it! When you rent from someone, they have all of your info. so you are more vulnerable to what they can do to hurt you! If a guy is that unstable that he asks every woman who comes around to take photos of her in the shower, that screams unstable wack job and no one I would ever rent from. Would I see him as London Rayne and take his money? Sure, because that's not my real info he has! 2 different situations entirely. You need to watch Pretty Woman and think about the Polo scene. Here, we are expecting to be treated like hookers by perverts...duh, we are advertising for it, but in the real world we don't want to do business with men like that. Wow.

I remember how that came up.  It was furnished and decorated so beautifully I complimented the apartment and features,  laughing and saying I want to take pictures of it "holding up a fake camera".  (I know, I'm a dork).  Bit of a language barrier,  he said "You want to take picture in the shower?  Go ahead.  Whatever you want".  

Anyway, yes, yes, I get the warnings...    I usually go by gut but he seemed like a nice old man.  He noticed things like that he sat across from the room, he eyes were in the right place, etc.  Nevertheless, it was a new situation.  I was pondering it for a bit.

I figured if any lady had such experience or heard of one or had any advice, she could provide input.  At the end of the day, as much as I would have liked it  to be a good idea, it's not worth stressing over.

Posted By: London Rayne
as hookers you don't know jack shit about us! You have a fake name, fake phone, fake address as in a hotel, and that's it! When you rent from someone, they have all of your info. so you are more vulnerable to what they can do to hurt you! If a guy is that unstable that he asks every woman who comes around to take photos of her in the shower, that screams unstable wack job and no one I would ever rent from. Would I see him as London Rayne and take his money? Sure, because that's not my real info he has! 2 different situations entirely. You need to watch Pretty Woman and think about the Polo scene. Here, we are expecting to be treated like hookers by perverts...duh, we are advertising for it, but in the real world we don't want to do business with men like that. Wow.

MSHSEX223 reads

I can't remember the last time a working girl referenced the movie "Pretty Woman" (a.k.a "Cinderella Story for Working Girls").

Posted By: London Rayne
as hookers you don't know jack shit about us! You have a fake name, fake phone, fake address as in a hotel, and that's it! When you rent from someone, they have all of your info. so you are more vulnerable to what they can do to hurt you! If a guy is that unstable that he asks every woman who comes around to take photos of her in the shower, that screams unstable wack job and no one I would ever rent from. Would I see him as London Rayne and take his money? Sure, because that's not my real info he has! 2 different situations entirely. You need to watch Pretty Woman and think about the Polo scene. Here, we are expecting to be treated like hookers by perverts...duh, we are advertising for it, but in the real world we don't want to do business with men like that. Wow.

I would be much more wary if I didn't know he would be gone while I lived there.  
This was a first for me, and I have been mulling over it without getting the balls to write a  simple email.

I kinda think it would be okay, especially if I held my space.  

I don't mind checking out other places.  Especially if ladies advise against it due to experiences.


Posted By: mistressjessica
I am amazed by the idiots in this world..

Girl do whatever your instincts tell you...

OMG!!!!!!! really???

It must be nice to young, dumb and ignorant!

Ms, New invention got really lucky................

You can pick one up at radio shack for like 30 bucks. I would never trust this dumb ass after what he did...ever. Plus, you are sleeping in "his" bed as in this place is furnished? Gross!

You think he'll just laugh it off when you lead him to believe something, then turn on him after you're in? He'll make it his mission to make her life miserable. Not smart.

People...especially horny men...DO NOT like to be teased.  Don't do it.

Friendly, Innocent flirting was the theme of the game.  Trust me.  There's a big difference between innocent flirting and when I make a man know I want to have sex with him.  

I was thinking a lunch date.  A teasing phrase in an email.  A small comment.  

Not breath on the ear, passionate looks, or a tongue sliding along the teeth.

Not making him fall in love with me or thinking I want some kind of arrangement or anything like that...

To me- there's a world of difference.  I'm not out to break a heart or toy with a mind.




Posted By: WhatUserNameIsntTaken
You think he'll just laugh it off when you lead him to believe something, then turn on him after you're in? He'll make it his mission to make her life miserable. Not smart.

People...especially horny men...DO NOT like to be teased.  Don't do it.

OMG, I had such disgust I took quite a while to respond and not be too vile.  I think that I just despise bullies with all my heart.   I wasn't bullied much myself but, well, how can any normal being not find it disgusting and infantile?  

The only people I intentionally disrespect like that are those who hurt others.  Your alias implies you created it for just that purpose.  If you have a kid, I  feel sorry for her having such a trailer-park parent lumber around spewing words like "Mud" in adult conversations. Yes, I heard the little video and understand you find it funny when the word is spelled backwards.  Not much to be said for those who live in a world of Bugs Bunny, Dora and, "Dum". I have no doubt fart jokes entertain you as well.    

If you find my question of a potential landlord's intentions "dum".  Or sneer at the the thought of me weighing the mighty decision of complimenting his suit at a future meeting and you have quality advice or something meaningful to contribute, please do.  

Otherwise, go back to eating your cheetos on your computer and keep still a minute.  

KissMyAuraDora284 reads

..I was just agreeing w/you, you started the thread declaring yourself an Idiot!.

Your response to me was so convoluted...

Mine:
http://www.angelfire.com/film/tsss/ss/kissbut.wav

To YOU there is a differnce............
Not to men and boys..

men do not like to be teased for long
and if he is flirting and has made that move, He has already thought of what you look like
naked and he intends to find out..

now if you do this, you are leading him on and he thinks he is going to get some............

Your situation is very different then going to dinner with a guy..

This guy you are talking about has a key to your home in more ways then one..
If you think he will take  a simple NO after he did you a favor you are in for a rude awakening..
If you think he will just go away you are naieve..

In his mind and he has something you need and he is being kind to you and doing you a favor and for that you owe him something..

Lets just say you go to dinner with him and he leases you the apartment.
Now he thinks you are intersted..
now he continues to show up and he is confused as to why your suddenly not?
Now you fake being intersted just to get him to go away.. he puts on the charm. ( now you are caught between do you or don't you )

OR,,, You tell him no and he gets his feelings hurt,. Now he wants to know all your business and he is still lurking...........................

why would you do that to yourself????????????????

There is no difference to friendly, casual flirting?  Being sweet and talking?  Vs hungry eyes?  ;)  

I don't know how to argue that.  There is HUGE difference to me.  

I really am surprised by the sheer amount of thoughts that this could lead to sex and expectations and stalking, breaking in, etc.  

His son is the super of the building and his wife has one of the apartments to herself since they own the building.  I don't intend to bring anyone over, so that wasn't an issue.

I'm not trying to push this.  I've already been talked out of it, lol!

I'm just surprised.  I thought I was being paranoid to think over a little thing like complimenting him.  

I did feel a measure of confidence since it was his apartment and he was leaving the country.  

As for the dinner thing, my security measure was always to pay for my own dinner when i want to lay down boundaries.

Understandably, that doesn't work for all.

The "fake interested" throws me off.  Is till think of distance flirting.  Friendliness.  Smiles.  Just a young woman talking to an older man seems to be enough.  I never really though sex would ever be expected!  But perhaps I'm just being defensive and was hoping it would be as innocent and awesome as it seemed.


you are right and I don't need that headache.  I likely would have reached that decision on my own, but was feeling chatty and like conversation sometimes and talking things out.

Man, sounds like you worked it and got a way better place than me!  This place is alright...  and I'm running outta time since I took so long to start working.  But it has all the essentials I was looking for..  

Last night, while chatting, he brought the deposit amount down drastically from 3 times the rent to one month rent.  Sooo.. not sure he'd have an ear for me if I asked for me reductions, lol!

I kinda think it would be fine.  But I've never attempted such a thing.  It's a new arena for me.   If I'm too forward, he might freak out.  If not- he may not be interested.  If I do get it...  well- since he'll be in Europe...  maybe not much to worry about...

Posted By: A_New_Invention
Wow, I can't believe you blew the opportunity.  Tell him you can't get the apartment out of your head, and enjoyed talking with him, but weren't sure it was in your price range.  Tell him you wonder if he'd be interested in meeting again to talk about it.  

Show up looking sexy, make sure he has a contract ready to sign (that's your payment!), and negotiate.

This stuff happens all the time. Even for guys. Once, I got an apartment (with pool!) absolutely free for an entire summer simply by watching gay porn with my landlord once in a while.  I'm sure he thought something was going to happen eventually. Not a chance.  But he didn't know that.  And he never got pissed off.  Heck, a year later he contacted me again to tell me that if I ever needed anything, let him know.

Look, don't be paranoid.  He's obviously giving you a good deal.  You know it.  Take him up on it.  You don't have to 'offer' anything.  Just be nice.  Guys get all loopy-headed around pretty girls that seem to like them.  Let him get loopy-headed.  Let him be nice in return.

When he comes back and reclaims his apartment, tell him how great it was and how much you liked his decor and how nice it was of him to let you stay there at a great price.  Tell him you told all your girlfriends what a sweetie he is.

Then, you're gone.  You had a great place to stay, and he feels manly.  If you play your cards right, he'll be a great reference for when you are looking for other apartments.

I agree that your best strategy is to definitely NOT sleep with him.  Guys get a period of lucidity after they cum.  Don't let him have it.

I mean start "looking"... lol..

Posted By: DestinyDelight
Man, sounds like you worked it and got a way better place than me!  This place is alright...  and I'm running outta time since I took so long to start working.  But it has all the essentials I was looking for..  

Last night, while chatting, he brought the deposit amount down drastically from 3 times the rent to one month rent.  Sooo.. not sure he'd have an ear for me if I asked for me reductions, lol!

I kinda think it would be fine.  But I've never attempted such a thing.  It's a new arena for me.   If I'm too forward, he might freak out.  If not- he may not be interested.  If I do get it...  well- since he'll be in Europe...  maybe not much to worry about...
Posted By: A_New_Invention
Wow, I can't believe you blew the opportunity.  Tell him you can't get the apartment out of your head, and enjoyed talking with him, but weren't sure it was in your price range.  Tell him you wonder if he'd be interested in meeting again to talk about it.  

Show up looking sexy, make sure he has a contract ready to sign (that's your payment!), and negotiate.

This stuff happens all the time. Even for guys. Once, I got an apartment (with pool!) absolutely free for an entire summer simply by watching gay porn with my landlord once in a while.  I'm sure he thought something was going to happen eventually. Not a chance.  But he didn't know that.  And he never got pissed off.  Heck, a year later he contacted me again to tell me that if I ever needed anything, let him know.

MSHSEX295 reads

Go back and rent the place from him. Entrap him with sexual flirtations. Then sue him for everything he's got for sexual harassment (i.e. offering preferential treatment in return for sexual favors). He deserves to be cleaned out.

Posted By: DestinyDelight
Looking at apartments, which is a pain because of no paystubs and all that jazz.  Found a cute one for a ridiculously low price in a great area.  Last night the owner sat and chatted with me in his place, tossing in making flirtatious comments.  "Oh, you are so beautiful, but I'm so old.."...  "The shower head is REALLY strong"  "You want to take sexy pictures?  Wound look good in here"  *WINK*  Automatically- my pretend prudeness came up.  "Noooooo, hahahha"

NOW I get it.  He wanted something, didn't he?  He offered to lower the deposit and engaged me in conversation for hours.  For being in this biz, I sure am slow when someone is flirting with me when I'm not expecting it.  What is WRONG with me???  I have like 5 days to find a place.  I should have flirted my ass off.  

Should I send an email and say anything?  I can't think of a darn thing.  

Thoughts?  

I'm screwed? *SIGH*

i would pass..he might be flirting..he might want some..you never can tell..if you sign the lease he might expect more than just the monthly rent..you will be uncomfortable..having a horny old man as a landlord is not the ideal scenario you want to put yourself in..way too much risk involved for you here..just remember..he has a master key..

...She could pay full price for a crappy apartment and STILL get a horny old man for a landlord.  Or some creepy neighbor.

If the guy creeps her out so much that she wouldn't want to live near him under any circumstances, that's one thing.  But using her looks and charm to negotiate a good deal?  What's the big deal.  It's one of the few things talked about on these boards that's NOT illegal.

Am I really the only sensible non paranoid person here?

I would be subletting his apartment...  

Posted By: macdaddy1944
i would pass..he might be flirting..he might want some..you never can tell..if you sign the lease he might expect more than just the monthly rent..you will be uncomfortable..having a horny old man as a landlord is not the ideal scenario you want to put yourself in..way too much risk involved for you here..just remember..he has a master key..

He probably knows you're in a tight spot, as many young women are when looking for a new home.  He's using his position of power to act abusively. If he acts that inappropriately right off the bat, it's safe to say his behaviour may escalate. He won't be gone forever  and living there may become extremely uncomfortable.

Picture in the shower? Lord only knows where those will end up, or if he'll try and blackmail you with them. The hours of conversation may lead to him being really pushy for a lot more.
 
If you contact him again, give him the original deposit he offered. Reject any "discount".  And politely refuse his suggestions but tell him you'll be a good tenant and take care of his place for him. Stick firm to the "good girl" route.

To make renting in the future easier consider the following:

Register a business

Open a business account

Deposit your money and pay your taxes.

If you look for apartments and claim to be self employed (which you are) you can show either tax records or bank statements to prove you have steady income.   That will open up your choices and perhaps give you the chance to find a more respectful landlord in the future.

Good luck

-- Modified on 4/25/2012 9:43:51 AM


He was sweet.  

I did tell him no off the bat to anything suggestive and don't intend to go that route.

I know it's not my only option.  I just liked the place and he offered me a great deal.

Since he's subletting HIS apartment and lives overseas during the summer, I don't expect him to be back.

I do realize the danger of being uncomfortable if something odd happened,  

Thank you for your advice.  I actually have people willing to show me places and have been able to go the more direct route before.  :)  Granted, not all place are open to me because I'm working on fixing my credit- which is just below 7.  So not AWFUL.  But, with all the qualifications needed- it is frustrating and I am drawn to the quick solution.  

Good to sit back and hear from you.  :)

XOXO


Posted By: laurensummerhill
He probably knows you're in a tight spot, as many young women are when looking for a new home.  He's using his position of power to act abusively. If he acts that inappropriately right off the bat, it's safe to say his behaviour may escalate. He won't be gone forever  and living there may become extremely uncomfortable.

Picture in the shower? Lord only knows where those will end up, or if he'll try and blackmail you with them. The hours of conversation may lead to him being really pushy for a lot more.
 
If you contact him again, give him the original deposit he offered. Reject any "discount".  And politely refuse his suggestions but tell him you'll be a good tenant and take care of his place for him. Stick firm to the "good girl" route.

To make renting in the future easier consider the following:

Register a business

Open a business account

Deposit your money and pay your taxes.

If you look for apartments and claim to be self employed (which you are) you can show either tax records or bank statements to prove you have steady income.   That will open up your choices and perhaps give you the chance to find a more respectful landlord in the future.

Good luck

-- Modified on 4/25/2012 9:43:51 AM

Cuz that aspect of it looks good to me...  

But I could be totally wrong about it being an easy opportunity.   Again, new experience.

That's why I'm asking for opinions.  :)

Posted By: macdaddy1944
i would pass..he might be flirting..he might want some..you never can tell..if you sign the lease he might expect more than just the monthly rent..you will be uncomfortable..having a horny old man as a landlord is not the ideal scenario you want to put yourself in..way too much risk involved for you here..just remember..he has a master key..

Ever see "Sliver?" Nuff said. Your home is your supposed to be secure, and that last thing you need is some nut job landlord lurking around trying to fk with you. For all you know the pervert could have cameras installed already! No way...find another place.

as to whether flirting would work is do to the fact that he lives overseas during the summer.

I would be subletting.

So I only deal with him this week..

No, I've never seen Sliver.  ;)  

But I am seeing a common theme in all the ladies posts.

Posted By: London Rayne
Ever see "Sliver?" Nuff said. Your home is your supposed to be secure, and that last thing you need is some nut job landlord lurking around trying to fk with you. For all you know the pervert could have cameras installed already! No way...find another place.

AnotherPerspective220 reads

If you were living in my apartment I would cancel my overseas summer trip .
 


"as to whether flirting would work is do to the fact that he lives overseas during the summer. I would be subletting. So I only deal with him this week."

Ok, if you are ONLY planning on being there say for 3 months and not on a long term basis, I say fk him and get free rent. I have not rented since I was about 20 other than incalls that are shared and none of us live there, so I don't know how I would approach this other than what I said above. If the dude is not there the whole time you are there, I would give him the goods in return for free rent. If he thinks you are that naive to fk him for free, pass.

I agree with part of what the women here are saying... go with your gut.  If you feel creeped out or uncomfortable, escape.

But don't be paranoid.  

This has nothing to do with sex or your part-time job.  It simply has to do with finding a place to live for the summer.  You found a good place at a great price.  You feel a little weird (guilty?) that maybe part of the reason you might the place at a great price is because he finds you sexy.  So what?  I'm sure this isn't the first guy that found you sexy, and I'm sure it won't be the last.  Let him be nice to you if he wants.  As a pro, you have the advantage of knowing how to handle yourself better than a lot of girls.  You don't lose control when the session time is up, do you?  So don't lose control here. And don't freak out about it.

Almost all the guys on these boards are creepy lying pervs, obviously.  That's why they're here.  Keep that in mind when you listen to their advice.  And many of the women here are (sorry ladies, but it's true) socially marginalized with semi-fucked up lives and low self-esteem.  So they're going to have a certain perspective too.

Why not ignore all the losers here and simply ask one of the friends you respect from REAL life?  Tell them that you found a great place at a great price but you think the guy renting it might have the hots for you.  See what a normal person's advice is.

I still say go for it... especially given the added details (short term, he'll be out of the country, etc).  But then again, I'm a creepy perv on some hooker rating site.  Why would you listen to me?


-- Modified on 4/25/2012 7:57:00 PM

would be THE FIRST to do what you say lol. Women who have their crap together know we don't have to deal with some unprofessional wack job because we can't find a place to live. Duh. I would not assume a guy flirting with me knows I am a hooker, but I would assume that he is an idiot who has no clue in attracting tenants and is more worried about his d*ck than his bottom line. Fact is, one could easily sue for the shit he pulled. It's called sexual harrassment! Get real please! He needs to rent to strippers he finds at the club, if that's the kind of tactics he wants to use. Most women with any sense would not drop to that level to rent a freaking apt. of all things...maybe a 3 story house on the damn water!

for entertaining the notion flirting with  a man to spur him to sublet his apartment to me before he leaves the country...   For me, that means complimenting his suit and smiling and chatting.  

I appreciate your enthusiasm, however.

The flood of no's from providers is heard.

I'll pick one of the other apartments because it doesn't seem to be worth any potential headache.

Posted By: London Rayne
would be THE FIRST to do what you say lol. Women who have their crap together know we don't have to deal with some unprofessional wack job because we can't find a place to live. Duh. I would not assume a guy flirting with me knows I am a hooker, but I would assume that he is an idiot who has no clue in attracting tenants and is more worried about his d*ck than his bottom line. Fact is, one could easily sue for the shit he pulled. It's called sexual harrassment! Get real please! He needs to rent to strippers he finds at the club, if that's the kind of tactics he wants to use. Most women with any sense would not drop to that level to rent a freaking apt. of all things...maybe a 3 story house on the damn water!

that all hookers were pretty much fked up with no self esteem who feel we have to sell out in the real world just to get someone to take us seriously. You do what you feel is right for you...end of story. No one has to live with your choices but you. It's not something I would do at this age and because I have a child to think about, but if you are single and looking for a summer place...go for it.

At a glance, I saw "most would never stoop to that lever", etc and figured you were referring to me.

I'm still taken aback.

My initial intent was curiosity at a potential landlord flirting with me and offering a deal.  It seemed good since he will be out of the country before I move in.  But I know I'm repeating myself.

One can't really ignore a hundred "hell no's", lol.

MSHSEX236 reads

Probably the most insightful, truthful, honest words that I've read (in addition to mine, of course) on this forum in quite some time.

But that's what makes us all "peas in a pod" and so comfortable with one another.

Posted By: A_New_Invention

Almost all the guys on these boards are creepy lying pervs, obviously.  That's why they're here.  Keep that in mind when you listen to their advice.  And many of the women here are (sorry ladies, but it's true) socially marginalized with semi-fucked up lives and low self-esteem.

It takes one person to report them for sexual harrassment, and then what? In this case he got a hooker desperate for a place to live for the summer...might not be that way next time. He could run into a woman who has a boyfriend and does not feel she should put up with that kind of treatment. Just because we are paid as hookers to deal with your crap here, does not mean we are gong to do it in the real world for nothing. Don't paint us all with the same brush, as I would not do that to any of you. I know plenty men here who let their d*ck rule their lives, but I also know plenty who know where to draw the line.

MSHSEX326 reads

I agree that we all can't be painted with the same brush, but let's be completely honest here. We are all "sinners" here, even if it is in varying degrees.

I also agree with that intelligent post I applauded that serves as a cautionary tale to take any advice offered here with a grain of salt, considering the "nature" of its sources.

Posted By: London Rayne
It takes one person to report them for sexual harrassment, and then what? In this case he got a hooker desperate for a place to live for the summer...might not be that way next time. He could run into a woman who has a boyfriend and does not feel she should put up with that kind of treatment. Just because we are paid as hookers to deal with your crap here, does not mean we are gong to do it in the real world for nothing. Don't paint us all with the same brush, as I would not do that to any of you. I know plenty men here who let their d*ck rule their lives, but I also know plenty who know where to draw the line.

In the hobby world, I operate one way..in real life, totally different. I did not blow my professors to get good grades all through college, and the fact it took me nearly 10 years confirms that ha ha. I did not blow the real estate agent to get a lower price on my home, when all one has to do is estimate the others houses in the area and point out it is above the market price in that neighborhood. Some people use what they use here to get ahead in life...I don't.

To each his own, but I am speaking only for what I would do and no one else. I would never lead some sap on or flirt with him to get anything...especially a used apartment in which I have to use his furniture. Not my thing. I had sex for a vehicle "HERE" because that's my job, but I won't do it just to do it on my own time.

I know that wasn't toward me.  And I'm sorry if I'm a bit hurt and making things about me that really aren't...

But, uh, umm... me neither....  I have a few college degrees and don't use what I use here to get through life...  I'm sorry if I implied that...  

Like I said, new experience.  Got curious.  Posted here.  This would be the third apartment I've rented in my life.  I thought girls might have stories.  Sublet owners that flirt before leaving the country?  TER has spoken-  Still dangerous.  

He's married.  thought I'd be nice.  Buy him lunch.  My intent has never been to fuck him, lead him on, etc.  I really did figure there were variations in flirting .  The distant kind just being nice kind and the close "I want you" kind.   I don't seem to be in the majority in thinking that.  To me, most guys that think any girl that talks to him without necessity is flirting.  So I don't think girls are terrible or dumb for flirting.  

Not a huge deal.  I opened this thread.  Kind of got called a few names.  Not directly.  But, ya know.   So this has kinda turned into a thread with me saying I have some intelligence and don't blow every guy I see to get through life for crappy things...  Yes, I know- reference wasn't toward ME...  There are a lot like that in this thread...  

Just... Ouch.  I get it.  I get it.  

WOW.  











Posted By: London Rayne
In the hobby world, I operate one way..in real life, totally different. I did not blow my professors to get good grades all through college, and the fact it took me nearly 10 years confirms that ha ha. I did not blow the real estate agent to get a lower price on my home, when all one has to do is estimate the others houses in the area and point out it is above the market price in that neighborhood. Some people use what they use here to get ahead in life...I don't.

To each his own, but I am speaking only for what I would do and no one else. I would never lead some sap on or flirt with him to get anything...especially a used apartment in which I have to use his furniture. Not my thing. I had sex for a vehicle "HERE" because that's my job, but I won't do it just to do it on my own time.
-- Modified on 4/25/2012 7:54:41 AM

I need a car right now, wonder if i can sell the services of my dick??.....LOL
I would not want to be a women, but it does have a few perks, that men don't have. ( pussy has buying power )  IMHO

MSHSEX238 reads

Yes, but it really depends on the pussy in question. There are some pussies out there that would have to pay me LOL.

Posted By: lungman
I need a car right now, wonder if i can sell the services of my dick??.....LOL
I would not want to be a women, but it does have a few perks, that men don't have. ( pussy has buying power )  IMHO

THE POT IS CALLING THE KETTLE BLACK..pompous..arrogant..self-loathing..so sorry we cannot live up to the high standards you have created for yourself and yourself alone..

All civvie friends would go for it.  

Providers, a resounding no.

I decided no awhile ago.  This thread has contributed.  ;)'

On a side-note, I really hadn't expected such name-calling, exclamation points, etc.  I have not contributed in a while and had no idea the initial question would stir such a fire.

I could have just come to a conclusion on my own but my over-chattiness brought me here. I am so sorry.



-- Modified on 4/25/2012 8:12:54 AM

And if you think this was name-calling, you should come back on a good day.

We have at least one or two train wrecks a day around here.  It's like a wild west saloon, but it keeps things interesting.

I think the relative lack of hostility on this might be on account of the equinamity you show.

In any case, you illustrate a common situation that a gal can get into with some man in a position of authority, and the input on how to handle it can only but help others and yourself.

Thanks for bringing it here.



LOL, I just say what I think.  I was a bit defensive and hostile at some points.    It is very rare for me to act that way.

I came looking for mama figures and friendly advice from guys and got called names.   Sooo many assumptions made and snotty comments that I'm still reeling.  Most seemed curveballed from the women.  That just sucks.  

Some of the ones that were mean sent friendly pms  **Baffled**  I do like friends, but how can you say something snotty and then come to me warmly?

I just don't understand the callousness of it all.

Sure as hell is stopping me from starting a thread for quite awhile!  I know I act like that's a big-time threat- lol.  ;)  I hate seeing this, even when I'm not the one being flayed for whatever.  Downright hostility makes for a huge headache.  

I do appreciate your post, mrfisher.  I am happy to have a friend here.  

This is a freaking scary place though.  I'm getting away from the computer.  YIPES!

blame the 'net.  the anonymity of boards and forums bring out trolls who are really just posting to amuse themselves and attack people.  not just at TER but in any forum or board online.
focus on the good stuff.  ignore the rest.

All the others were directed under the names of the "guys" who I was talking to. Do what you want to do...it's your life and your decision in the end.

....I'd be so so uncomfortable living there...seriously!
It wouldn't surprise me it he has little cameras/video rolling through out the apartment and other crazy stuff that perverts do.
Don't ignore the signs (no boundaries, inappropriate comments, etc)

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