sorry you got that but if you're cheating on someone you are playing with fire regardless of in the hobby or out.

Sorry to hear of your bad luck with the hobby; but I commend your poignant testimony.

namewitheld, 8/7/2008 7:35:00 PM
I was involved in the hobby for about a year and saw seven or eight well reviewed girls (only about half I thought were worth repeating). Then I caught a case of genital warts and had to "fess up" to my wife of 16 years.

 You've been had ..I had a fling with your wife two years ago ...thats a year before you started hobbying.. At first she didn't want to cheat so she would only give me BJs.. After a couple months of BJs three times a week we met at a Econo Lodge...She tore off her clothes and threw herself on the bed with a look of "Devour Me"..I always DATY first but before my tongue met her wetness I noticed Herpes bumps, told her I just wanted another BJ and left..
If you think I am kidding, PM me and I will tell you her name and yours..

Before you go into full blown panic mode about exposing your wife to genital warts, she should talk to her doctor. There are literally hundreds of strains of genital warts. Only four of them are known to lead to cervical cancer. Furhtermore, if you had sex before you were married, it is possible that you have had them for years, or even decades, without ever being aware of it.

You wife should have herself tested to determine if the strain of HPV she has is a cancer causing strain. If the test is positive, she should consider having her cervix removed as a precaution. Doing so does not affect her ability to have children, if you want more children that is, nor does it affect her ability to enjoy sexual intercourse. It will however, guarantee that she does not develop cervical cancer.

I'm assuming that since you knew you had HPV, you have the visible kind. The HPV strains that cause warts are referred to as "low-risk". This is because in most of these, the only problem that they cause is the warts, which are bothersome but not dangerous. It's the strains of HPV that DON'T have visual symptoms ("high-risk") that are the ones that are related to cervical cancer.

Also, in healthy immune systems, the body usually cures itself of the virus in about 18 months.

Important topic:  Following read from CDC:

http://www.cdc.gov/std/HPV/STDFact-HPV.htm

I agree your tale is cautionary. You made an inaccurate assumption about a virus that you could have had for years, acted on that inaccurate assumption by disclosing damaging facts to the wife and now that the wife hates you (not usually a sexy mood) are going to quit the hobby (right when you need it most). My sympathies and I'm sure it feels like crap. It probably doesn't feel any better to realize that you could have been infected by your wife or women you saw previous to her and that this could have been dormant until with some unlucky timing...  I do sympathize and  wish you a swift journey through troubled waters but I'm going to draw a different moral to the tale. A. hobby all you want - discretely B. inform yourself about std's C. use a therapist or priest for confessions. And yes, while something bad is going to happen if you hobby bad things will also happen if you don't.

(For example, if you are leaving the hobby then why would you use an alias?  Using your real handle would give your words more credibility and what's the downside if you're out the door?)

I think that your experience is not as common as you would like us to believe.

On the subject of STD's, I find that virtually all providers are very careful in this matter; and why shouldn't they be?  This is their living and to become sick will cost them dearly.

My experience in civie dating many years ago led to several STD's.  In the hobby world:  none.

It is true that the hobby either led to or accelerated the end of my marriage, but I don't regret it that much.  I think in the hindsight of the last few years, it was all for the best.

Sorry your experience was not satisfactory, but to say that all of our experiences will end up like yours is a bit of hyperbole.

Thanks for sharing it nevertheless. It's always good for people to have the benefit of all viewpoints.

Blaming this site for your problems is a bit ridiculous. I doubt anyone dragged you her to TER and forced you to research escorts and see seven or eight of them.  You did that because you wanted to get laid.  

I can't really agree with on any of your conclusions about the hobby though you are obviously going to be bitter at this point.

Nobody can take any blame for their own actions.  It is always someone or something else that caused them to have all their problems.

So Mr. "namewitheld", while you do not specifically blame TER for your problems, you say you "honestly say I wish I never found this site."

Well, the actual decision to hobby was not forced on you, nor were the potential issues something that you probably did not know about.

Although I dislike when others have posted that since they have not experienced any sort of issues related to STD's, therefore nobody else could have any problems though.  That is trying to disprove a positive with a single negative.   It does not work in the world of logic.

to the possibility that your condition was not the result of hobbying, but a lingering infliction from the past. If this was the case, then don't you owe it to the ladies that you've seen to let them know. It is possible that YOU are the one carrying it, and may have passed it on.

I choose option b) stick with LFK and skip the BBBJ

That takes care of the disease part.

Stick with well reviewed providers, that pretty much covers the legal part

As far hiding it from your SO, well, others might suggest something for that. I don't have a SO.

it will catch up to you. This is not a risk free hobby, and not to sound callous, but you knew that going in.

If you drive a car long enough you will eventually get in an accident, if you are careful it could be decades.

I have been with well over a thousand women, the overwhelming majority providers over the last thirty something years. Would I have been safer not engaging in so many sexual encounters? Of course I would. Would I be happier? Not a chance.

BTW I have no wife and hence I am guilt free. I would be the last person in the world to make moral judgements for others, but for the five years I was married, I was never with another woman, provider or otherwise.

I am sorry that your hobbying had unintended and unfortunate consequences, but I am quite comfortable with my choices in life and I feel that my quality of life is been improved through hobbying not the other way around.

I doubt this is the type of response you are hoping for, but as you said "sorry to piss on the parade".

Bret Farve thing where you retire then 3 months later you want back on the field and  in the game.

you will write to TER admin to get reinstated but the newbie board already has named your replacement so you must be traded to the "in search of" board or the "other" board.
I do not want to speak for Jazz but I would think he would trade you to a competing board. Maybe even "politics and religion" OUCH

Thank You
XLIII = 4

YOU Chose To Get Married, YOU Chose To Have Kids, YOU Chose To Cheat On Your Wife, YOU Chose To

seek out sites like this, YOU Chose To become a TER member, YOU Chose To see 7 -8 escorts, YOU Chose To break YOUR marriage vows, YOU Chose To engage in activities exposing YOU to risk, YOU Chose To expose YOUR wife to your hobby-exposed body, YOU Chose To "fess up" to your wife who YOU were cheating on, YOU Chose To ignore the risks, and now YOU are trying to tell others what to do...YOU have no credibility to do that.

And frankly, I don't believe you are "Sorry to piss on the parade", I think that is exactly your intention.  YOU got caught and now YOU want to ruin everyone else's fun because YOU can no longer participate...actually that is not true...YOU are Chosing not to participate.

While I am sorry you had a bad experience, YOU made your choices and now YOU have to live with YOUR Choices, just like we all have to live with our choices.

Please do not give us some sanctimonious speech about how you were led down the Primrose Path, by the "Evil" TER and how we are all in danger.  YOU were not led, YOU CHOSE this path!  Now YOU are Choosing to move on, fine.  But there is no need to "piss on the parade" as you are leaving.

JMTC

-- Modified on 8/8/2008 5:43:53 PM

It may be a small consolation, but there are MANY versions of HPV (around 40). The kind that gives you warts does not cause cervical cancer. If you have acquired the "warts" kind, you're certainly at a higher risk, statistically speaking, for cervical cancer, but only because people who tend to acquire one acquire multiple versions of HPV.

Also, it's still rare to develop cervical cancer even if you have right form of the virus -- fear does rake in the big bucks for the companies supplying the vaccines though.

shut out at home for nearly 10 years.  I am sorry that it took me a few years to discover the www hobby (and eventually TER).  Previously, I went to a massage parlor to relieve my stress.  As long as my equipment works, I'm playing the game.

Thank you to all the ladies who make my dreams come true.

Re: retiring from the hobby - a cautionary tale

Hobby Rule #1 Should be : Never confess