When you think of it, it's really no different than regular business posting a sign saying that they have the right to refuse service to anyone. I fully understand the provider's point.
wants to know your age/ethnicity as part of your personal information (along with the references), what is the likelihood that they are discriminating against your age/ethnicity?
I don't know about anyone else. I ask for age and ethnicity to prepare for the appointment. An older fellow may not get excited as easily so I take along lingerie, vibrator, massage oil, portable defibrilator (joking about the last one). If the fellow is young, especially for a two hour appt, I take several covers and eat my wheaties. Perhaps this is a bit discriminatory, but it is based on experience.
I always ask black men how big his mini-me is. I once got a BIG surprise... He was a tripod!
I don't ask those questions but it is always nice to know ahead of time. I have a bag full of toys and need to have covers to protect them. I carry many brands and in every shape and size from tiny to XXX large for those great big boys.
Every lady has her comfort zone and that is very important for the gentleman to know. This way he gets the best bang for his buck so to speak. She is doing you a favor by letting you know ahead of time. Don't take offense be thankful!
Kisses Haley
and refuse to see you because of your age or ethnicity, wouldn't you rather her not see you than have a substandard session because of her biases?
If a provider and I don't click for any reason whatsoever, I would much rather not see her then have her see me reluctantly. IMO no session at all is much, much better than a session with someone who doesn't want to be there. This is as intimate a business as you will ever find and I certainly can't fault a lady for only seeing clients she feels comfortable with.
Like it or not, some ladies do have age or ethnic preferences. There isn't much point in spending money on a woman who isn't comfortable with you anyway.
It's not discrimination, it's their preference. You're not buying a house or ordering a meal, you're having the most intimate relationship a person can have. If they're not comfortable with you, don't make it more than it is.
What, like the way guys can discriminate against ladies that are super safe, blond instead of brunette, spinner instead of BBW, implants vs natural and the list goes on? Or when guys do it it's called a "personal preference". There goes that damn double standard thing again.
Because you pay does not mean a lady has to see every man with cash that calls her. She is as entitled to her "preferences" or "discrimination" as you are.
I would never accuse a provider who asks for your age or race as one who is trying to discriminate. Just as hobbyists select the ladies they wish to see (perhaps based on age and race)providers too have preferences over the type of men they wish to see as well. Some ladies will absolutely refuse to see African American gentleman or Asian men. Some African American providers (although it’s less common) may refuse to see white gentleman. I do not view these ladies as racists, however. I have had several sessions with sweet wonderful ladies who have told me that they just are not sexually attracted to African American men. Instead of seeing them, taking their money and just trying to go through the motions of the session, they prefer not to see them all. They recognize they would not be able to give 100% during the session which would not be fair to the hobbyist. I had another provider who told me she was monetarily cheated by a Middle Eastern hobbyist. Now, rightly or wrongly she refuses to see any Middle Eastern men in the future. It's their choice and should be respected. Not every provider is as open minded about seeing anyone.
Remember, its not just race. Some providers will not see heavy men, men under 30, men who smoke, men with abnormally large dicks, men who can’t afford $1000 for the hour, men who wont see them after 9PM, men who wont provide two references or give out work employment information, men who refuse to shower at the start of a session, men who try and negotiate rates on the phone, men who do not have an upscale incall location, etc.
Each provider has to do what they feel is best for themselves. Their number one concern is their own safety and security and to that end they make their own rules which they feel are necessary. We may not like how a provider chooses to run her business, but we must respect her choices.
If a provider refuses to see you based on your age or race, then so be it. It is her choice, respect it and move on to a different lady.
Your statement - "I have had several sessions with sweet wonderful ladies who have told me that they just are not sexually attracted to African American men."
This entire statement is disingenuous. First of all, when did it become a requirement for a provider to be sexually attracted to her clients? She's sexually attracted to all the pot-bellied, combover-having, hairy hedgehogs, white guys who are her clients?
Second of all, African Americans come in so many colors, shapes, and sizes. There is a whole world of difference between, lets say, Derek Jeter and Wesley Snipes. Yet, this entire spectrum is cut off by saying "No Blacks Allowed." Because she is not attracted to Patrick Ewing, she kicks Denzel Washington to the curb...
But she would not apply the same logic to white people. If you're not attracted to one, them reject them all.
It's demeaning and insulting to the race being discriminated against.
Hi Pitt,
You know you do have a very valid point regarding to the "I'm not attracted" line. In reality there are very few men in this line of work a lady could say they are attracted to on a purely physical level...ie. what you immediately see without getting to know a guy. That's where the acting comes into it...but wait, the guys don't like ladies that act...isn't it a requirement that to be in this business a woman has to be attracted to all her clients and get sexually aroused so as not to "fake it" with them or she's just not fit to be an escort?
OMG strike me down as I am no longer worthy...I admit to acting. In fact I am Oscar worthy.
I'm not looking to start a flame war, but suppose that the provider is a pure racist pig. That would be a bad thing, but as GaGambler put it above, wouldn't you rather her exclude you (not PittPanther you, but the generic AA guy that she refused) than do a half-assed job?
For what it's worth, I was watching some porn the other day (I know, I'm a sinner) and there was this one scene where the chick looked like the bubble over her head could've said "oh baby, oh baby...what time was my nail appointment again? I wish this sweaty bastard would be done, so I could eat the rest of that donut". I was embarrassed for the guy, and he was getting paid for it. I don't envy the poor schmuck that's forking over his hard earned cash for some chick that isn't the least bit into it.
Let's face it, it's not a perfect world. But I'd rather be with someone that could make me feel good than someone that dreads being in the room with me.
If we could buy these providers companionship for a price irrespective of their say, it would be virtually slavery. Just because we can produce that envelope doesn't mean we have ownership over the providers choices.
Second, most of these providers are independant contractors and they should be able to see which ever clients they deem appropriate for an appointment.
Now I have asked several white and even asian providers about this issue. Most providers I have talked to do see African-American men. Some providers are surprised I would bring up this issue, they tell me they don't discriminate.
Of course there are some that don't see black men. However, from what I have observed for every provider that refuses to see a certain ethnicity there are plenty of others that will. I think it's better to concentrate on the ones that will see you.
-- Modified on 7/2/2008 1:40:56 AM
-- Modified on 7/2/2008 1:45:07 AM
I've seen some providers advertise that they'll see white men only, and I've seen some advertise that they'll see black men only. Same with the age. It doesn't bother me as long as I know up front, since I have to drive 2-3 hours to see a provider.
jhb
If you are a gentlemen who is not affectionate or enjoy kissing we may not be suited for one another. I'm not joking and just yesterday I turned someone down who said they didn't kiss. Boy were they upset with me. I just let them know that the perfect lady for them was a phone call away and that I could not offer him the best of my services. Turn money down? You bet your booty.
Why waste your money with a lady that is not all there for you. For me, why waste my time with a gentlemen that I know will never see me again. I offer a hell of alot more than a service.
I know this is a very touchy subject but it all boils down to personal preference for the provider and the hobbiest
Kisses Haley
-- Modified on 7/1/2008 4:59:27 PM
-- Modified on 7/1/2008 5:00:01 PM
it's discriminating just as much as it is preference. it's her right though, don't get me wrong. i'm not saying she's a bad person - i was just thinking if it's even worth my time trying to contact the provider. it couldn't hurt either way though.
in fact, i think it's kind of good when a provider is clear and upfront. it saves both ends a lot of time. so if a provider doesn't like young men, or a particular ethnicity... i hope she puts it on her page instead of beating around the bush.
-- Modified on 7/1/2008 5:05:53 PM
When you think of it, it's really no different than regular business posting a sign saying that they have the right to refuse service to anyone. I fully understand the provider's point.
actually, i don't know about that... i don't think a business can legally refuse service based on race/age.
-- Modified on 7/1/2008 6:05:21 PM
I much prefer to see a provider who spells out on her website, exactly what she may or may not like. Just roll with the punches, the whole idea is to have a great time with your provider.
Good point. My mistake!!!!
Orlando, as I recall is very close to Kiss-a-Me.
I really would like to learn all about your geography one day
Thank you
2008=27
More important than race is intelligence -- at least for me. And I certainly draw lines there. Men do a fine job of helping me determine where they fall along that spectrum. It makes saying "no" so easy...
Admittedly, I do discriminate based on age. I must.
why must you?
I have never discriminated. Yet, of all the clients I have had there are only about 6 or 7 that I would absolutely refuse to see again. 4 of them are African American and the others are White.
It has to do about how I felt in the appointment, the fact that I was uncomfortable with them, as people and not their race.
I have never discriminated against a hobbyist because of the color of his skin. That's my personal choice. Just like it's my choice to not see people who I may just feel might not be a fit with me.
~Rae