Newbie - FAQ

Depends on how you view the hobby
ShakingtheSheets 189 Reviews 3053 reads
posted

If you are asking this question from a purely business perspective and vantage point, you are right, there is nothing wrong with the concept of trying to get the best deal possible. A lot of businesses offer all sorts of discounts and deals. They may range from a simple $10 coupon at a restaurant, to a customer who gets 10% off his rental car because he has AAA coverage, to a massive volume discount for a customer who buys a million widgets from a company, to the grandmother who pays $200 for her flight to Florida (because she booked a year in advance) sitting next to the businessman paying $1500 (because he booked last night), to a person who gets a free Subway sandwich because he bought 5 sandwiches at full price and now the 6th one is free, etc. In other words, all is not equal. Some people pay more for goods and services than others. If you look at it from the perspective that the world is run on deals, specials and negotiations then why shouldn’t a provider be any different? Why shouldn’t I get a volume discount and pay less per hour if I have seen her ten times? A provider is a business woman, so why can’t I try and negotiate the best possible price for her time?  

I think, however, that the main reason that most hobbyists/providers are telling you never to try and ask for a discount or negotiate a rate is because it is viewed as a classless and demeaning act. We are dealing with human emotions and feelings and most people would find it insulting to be asked to do any job only to have the person paying the money try and negotiate a lower fee. We all have a value on our time and it’s wrong to expect to pay less than this value.

While conceptually you are not wrong in thinking you are entitled to a volume discount, because of the strong human element involved, most ladies will simply be annoyed that you asked for a discount. In their eyes, you are insinuating that you think their time is worth less than the announced rate. In most cases, you will not get a second chance to see that lady. The easy solution (and one that will save you immense grief) is that if you can not pay a provider's hourly rate, then simply move on to another lady whose rate is more affordable.

   

-- Modified on 4/28/2008 1:44:20 PM

InSearchOfHer4280 reads

Ok, Ok.. I know that renumeration is "non negotiable".. but when is is appropriate to ask for a repeat discount?  If you have seen a provider more than once can you ask without offending the sensitibilities of the ladies?

If you are talking about a single hour appt. Most ladies will offer you a discount if you liked her so much you wish to repeat with a multi-hour appt. About the only discount I have ever got on the initial hour is when several have raised their rates and let me know I would always stay at the old rate.

Of course, I have always just been happy they were willing to see me again without asking for a raise! :)

be prepared for rejection and a possible lack of being able to fit into her schedule in the future....

You could ask if there is a discount for a multi hour session without any negative results but a discount for a regular session, probably not.

You could try something like: "Do you ever run specials for returning friends, I'd like to see you a bit more often but my wallet prevents me from seeing you as often as I'd like?"

That may be phrased in a way that won't be deemed to crass.

Now that you mention it, I think I'll ask the owner of my favorite restaurant to give me a discount. After all, I eat lunch there several times a week and have even been included in several of her family celebrations.

I agree with WT, never.

Lunchtime discounts usually never happen because the profit margins are so low.

OTOH extra food at dinner is quite common at most of the regular places I go.  At one place I always get an extra appetizer, and desert, and another gives me extra food on the plate that normal people do not get.

So the restaurant discount metaphor does not work.

I hear ya, and it's a good point. I was also alluding to, what another poster brought out, though it's a business, there are personal feelings involved, hence the mention that the restaurant owner does not view me as strictly business. Though I often get extra tofu in my miso soup, etc., I would never ask for it. Perhaps it's just me.

You're right. Not all metaphors fit so perfectly. Just what came to mind when I read the post.

AWomanLikeNoOther1578 reads

And many ladies let their regulars stay over a little longer. They may do things that they don't offer with all clients. They may bring/do something special for the client's birthday. Etc. So yeah, I think the metaphor works. Do you deliberately ASK for a free dessert? Or do you just enjoy it when/if you do get one?

If you "know" it's non-negotiable, why would you think of a discount?

Every fifth leap year between 12pm and 12:02pm.

What part of "non-negotiable" is unclear to you?  If a lady offers a discount to a repeat customer that is her business.  It is not for you to ask for.  Where does logic like this even come from?

aomission1135 reads

I thought this was the newbie board? Seems like a legitimate question from a newbie to me. I think some of you sometimes forget this. It's OK to answer the question, but sarcasm or insults really aren't necessary. This is what runs off new folks to the hobby. Oh, maybe that's what some are trying to accomplish. Less customers means more for those already in the hobby.

It's insulting to the lady, kind of like her asking you to leave early. Wouldn't you be a little pissed?

InSearchOfHer2651 reads

Thanks for the warm reception y'all.. Just what you need on a NEWBIES board.

I'm sorry you did'nt like the answers or the way they were conveyed...however I think everyone was trying to make sure you don't make a fool of yourself and ruin a potential good thing with the provider.  Some providers may even think that is enough to put you on a list for ladies forwarning them that you try and haggle.

Don't take it so much as not a warm welcome but people jumping in to keep you from jumping off a cliff that could be very hard to climb back up from.

Meow.

followme2172 reads

Well if you were to ask a serious question and not under an ALIAS you would get some real good serious help from a bunch of cool folks

You're Welcome
2008=27

All things considered, I thought the answers were rather reserved and polite. Seriously, a question like that coming from a newbie who needs to hide behind an alias...as if you were wanting alot of 'cheap' shots. Pun intended. LOL!

BTW: By cheap shots I meant such replies as my intial thought which was to tell you that you may have better luck asking her if she offers a half-hour rate. But then I thought better of it cause maybe the lady you were thinking of you did just see for a half hour.  LOL!


-- Modified on 4/28/2008 4:19:02 PM

You asked a question.  You asked it in a way that would indicate that you anticipated the answer.  And you received the answer you expected.  So why are you complaining?  No one has abused or insulted you.

What a gal charges is HER business.  Any discounts are OFFERED by her, not asked for.

The folks here would be doing you, and every other newbie a disservice if we fed you the answer you want to here, especially when we know it is wrong answer.

-- Modified on 4/28/2008 2:54:45 PM

If you are asking this question from a purely business perspective and vantage point, you are right, there is nothing wrong with the concept of trying to get the best deal possible. A lot of businesses offer all sorts of discounts and deals. They may range from a simple $10 coupon at a restaurant, to a customer who gets 10% off his rental car because he has AAA coverage, to a massive volume discount for a customer who buys a million widgets from a company, to the grandmother who pays $200 for her flight to Florida (because she booked a year in advance) sitting next to the businessman paying $1500 (because he booked last night), to a person who gets a free Subway sandwich because he bought 5 sandwiches at full price and now the 6th one is free, etc. In other words, all is not equal. Some people pay more for goods and services than others. If you look at it from the perspective that the world is run on deals, specials and negotiations then why shouldn’t a provider be any different? Why shouldn’t I get a volume discount and pay less per hour if I have seen her ten times? A provider is a business woman, so why can’t I try and negotiate the best possible price for her time?  

I think, however, that the main reason that most hobbyists/providers are telling you never to try and ask for a discount or negotiate a rate is because it is viewed as a classless and demeaning act. We are dealing with human emotions and feelings and most people would find it insulting to be asked to do any job only to have the person paying the money try and negotiate a lower fee. We all have a value on our time and it’s wrong to expect to pay less than this value.

While conceptually you are not wrong in thinking you are entitled to a volume discount, because of the strong human element involved, most ladies will simply be annoyed that you asked for a discount. In their eyes, you are insinuating that you think their time is worth less than the announced rate. In most cases, you will not get a second chance to see that lady. The easy solution (and one that will save you immense grief) is that if you can not pay a provider's hourly rate, then simply move on to another lady whose rate is more affordable.

   

-- Modified on 4/28/2008 1:44:20 PM

You'd be wise to never ask for a discount. Even if you are a regular, you need to respect her rates, and expect to pay the full amount every time.

its just not appropriate; if you become a real reliable regular, she might chose to offer it, especially if she sees you once every other month for 300, but learns that you spend another 600 elsewhere for 3-4 appointments - she might rather have the full $900 for herself and be willing to give you 5 appointments for an assured $1,000 per months (just an example) - this gives her more total $, an assured steady income, and with a regular, she probablyhas more flexibility in scheduling and may even see you in her home instead of paying for an outcall;  but you should not ask, ever.

anabangbang1856 reads

you may ask her if she gives frequent flyer miles.

do not ask her to give them to you.
just ask her if she has a frequency plan.

its a touchy subject so tread carefully.

InSearchOfHer1463 reads

Finally.. a rationale piece of advice.   You are my hero!

You'll probably want to change to a new alias if you want any further advice.

-- Modified on 4/29/2008 7:36:15 AM

BobbyTZ1204 reads

The right answer is never.

and I was $1.33 short and do u know that i have been going to that store 3 - 4 times a month and sometimes more for the last 27 yrs! do you know they would not let me owe them or give me a pass even though the cashier had seen me at least 100 x's before.
I had to put back an item to put me right and i noticed that is policy everywhere.
If you become a regular to a indy or an agency they may offer you a discount, at least I do, but it is never proper to ask for a discount. just my opinion.

shudaknownbetter1349 reads

There's quite a few responses here already...  

Discount is perhaps accurate but a harsh word.  You need to check a ladies web site & ads first.  Do you see fluctuating prices?  Some do depending on location & other factors.  Others offer specials, I suppose to fill slow days.  
I don't feel there should be any harm in asking politely & respectfully if there are any specials available...  so long as you do not argue with the answer (that would be haggling & disrespectful).  If donations fluctuate, you should be clear in advance what donation is expected, lest you be accused of shorting her!

IF the lady's web site or ad says NO Specials or NO Negociating, or something along those lines, to  ask for a price reduction would then be disrespectful.  Obiviously not the way to start a date, so don't.  

I think a lady that wants to put a guy on the ignore list for asking ONCE needs to get a breath of fresh air.  I'm sure they are tired of multiple guys asking the same question, but it's unreasonable to expect every newbie to know that they are the 1000th person to ask.  A LADY should turn it around and reply "What does my web site say?" or "All your questions are answered on my web site."  If they don't know you have a web site, just refer them.  If they call back they'll be much more knowledgeable clients...

For the record, I DO ask to clarify the donation if there's conflicting information on a new girl I'm going to see.  
I have a price lock with one Fav who has since raised her prices.  (When I noticed the higher prices in her new ads, I asked & she stated that did not apply to me.)
Another Fav I've seen over a year, charges a fair fee for the massage and unspecified tips for extras.  I decided the total donation on that first visit & feel it's it's not subject to renegociation.  {It's actually a very difficult position for a guy to be put in, deciding the donation.}  
skb


PS
I don't get it why some people have a problem with "aliases" since no one is using their given names...  we're all using "aliases".  I just prefer not to link the message boards with my reviews.

Recently I contacted a provider with one TER review.  Her ad only quoted an hourly rate, however I enquired about a dinner date.  I received a positive response about a dinner date, but no rate was quoted... which kind of left things in limbo.  Suggestions on how to clear up this type of ambiguity?

On a side note, just last week, my server/bartender chased me out of a restaurant after I had finished dining... to thank me.  The bill was $140, and I left $20 tip on credit card, plus $20 cash tip.  She, on the other hand, only charged me for 1 beer and 1 glass of Sake (I had 2 of each), so I thought it only right to reward flawless service and a couple of freebies appropriately.

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