It's called: Divorce.
My ex and I went through a phase very much like you are describing for several years after she learned of my hobbying.
For a while, we were swinging, seeing providers together, all was wonderful.
Then, she learned that she could have the high life without the bother of having me around, so she took the money and ran, so to speak.
Of course, all situations don't turn out the same, but if I had it all to do over again, I think I would be seeing about ways to hide my assets, just in case.
Best of luck in any case.
My wife has always told me that she has an infallible sixth sense – particularly concerning extra-marital activity. I didn’t fully believe her and wasn’t deterred from joining TER recently, seeking to explore this form of recreation. I also, as it turned out, underestimated my wife’s computer skills.
So, long story short, she felt a tingle of suspicion one night last month, burrowed deep into my computer, and found some saved, and insufficiently protected, email correspondence in which I sought to arrange – but had not yet consummated – a rendezvous with a provider found on TER. So far, probably not an uncommon (albeit unfortunate) story and one that’s probably happened to others here.
What is interesting, however, has been my wife’s reaction. Although we’ve had a healthy, frequent sex life and deeply love one another, we’ve not been adventurous in expanding our sexual horizons – one of the reasons I started to explore seeing a provider. While she’s not completely forgiven me my transgression, my wife has, to my great surprise and delight, expressed interest in participating with me in my contemplated adventures and has told me that she has fantasized for a long time about doing so.
She wants us to go together to a strip club – something I haven’t done myself in more than a decade. More germane to this group, she wants to engage a provider to join both of us. She expresses interest primarily in watching, and participating exclusively with me, with the exception perhaps of light kissing and touching with the provider.
My first reaction is “what’s not to like?” But I can’t help feeling that there are numerous potential pitfalls ahead. Has anyone here had any similar experiences? What were the resultant effects on your marriage?
Any suggestions about how to find a suitable, willing provider, since availability to couples is not always specified in profiles and websites and few reviews cover the subject? (New York, Boston or in between, in case there are volunteers.)
Hi 12xplor, i am also a newbie and I am a woman that participated with my husband in a threesome. If I can give you my two cents on the situation you are in, I will say this, your wife needs to have an active part in who joins the both of you. When I expressed an interest for another woman joinging us my husband and I talked and talked and talked some more about all of the effects that it would have on our marriage. The end result has been good, we both enjoyed the experience and are looking forward to doing it again. I don't know you or your wife or the type of relationship that you have but you must be able to communicate and be honest with one another. You must not make the experience about yourself, my husband made our situation about me and was willing to sit back and watch if I was not comfortable with him joining in. I also believe that you need to keep looking for a provider that specializes in couples if they do not state it on thier website call or email them and ask. The provider that we used made both of us very comfortable and I think that was a key factor in me wanting my husband to be an active participant. I hope all works out for you and your wife and good luck!
I'm a lifelong bachelor, so I haven't a clue what a couple session will do to/for your marriage. But here a tip - have your wife make contact with the provider! Knowing that a FMF encounter is huge male fantasy, and a great male power trip, many gals need to be assured that both people they meet are wanting the session. Some will even want to with meet your spouse over coffee to cover the ground rules.
jazz32
It's called: Divorce.
My ex and I went through a phase very much like you are describing for several years after she learned of my hobbying.
For a while, we were swinging, seeing providers together, all was wonderful.
Then, she learned that she could have the high life without the bother of having me around, so she took the money and ran, so to speak.
Of course, all situations don't turn out the same, but if I had it all to do over again, I think I would be seeing about ways to hide my assets, just in case.
Best of luck in any case.
I did a session with a couple and it was with the understanding that she was "giving me" as a bday presant TO her husband. That she would not interact with me just him, and he would interact with both of us. WELL let me tell you...for them it was Not talked out well in advance and she was just bowing to his insistant requests. Was Not pretty in the end. She grew angry and Jealous over his attentions towards me, even though he was paying as much attention to her as well. She really wasn't interested in it but agreed to stop his asking.
Like she said be sure you discuss this in great length b4 you attempt it, can get messy.
If you haven't listened to Dr. Drew on the radio...a threesome can be a relationship ender. There are jealousy issues that you won't know about until you are all together. I was with a very good friend and another girl and it was not as fun as two new friends that I didn't know very well. Bringing in a so changes the whole dynamics. Make sure both of you are ready psychologically before you attempt it.
It's funny that you were keen to see a provider and now that your wife is interested, you're looking for the downside. I have no doubt that she (probably with the advice of some friends) strategized on how best to make you less interested in meeting other women. But since she wants to do other adventurous things with you, maybe she just doesn't want to lose you. Maybe she's been missing the excitement too.
I think you're lucky to have her. Best of luck.