...I'm incredibly nervous - on a number of levels.
First of all, I'm not happy about still being a virgin; it is most definitely not by choice. This is why I have an appointment arranged with a well reviewed provider in Vegas in the near future. Even though I'm 23, I feel like the 40 Year Old Virgin to some extent - particularly in the scenes where he comes close to having sex, but ends up screwing it up - because that has literally happened to me a few times.
It first happened back in high school/college (17/18.) I was dating this girl for almost a year (last half of the relationship was long distance when I went to college.) Finally in February she decides she's ready and we decide that when I'm home for spring break, we'd have sex. Well at the last minute I ended up having to go to Florida with the parents over spring break and then she dumped me a few weeks later.
In college I hooked up with a decent number of girls, but just could never manage to go all the way with any of them (i.e. plenty of oral.) Then one night my senior year (at age 21 and after much alcohol and a little 420) I end up in bed with a female friend. She asked if I had a condom (which of course I didn't) but she managed to find one. I kept thinking to myself, "wow this is FINALLY going to happen." Well sure enough, a.) I had no idea what I was doing, b.) I'm Asian and will readily admit am smaller than average, and c.) was drunk/high enough to not be completely hard. So I tried unsuccessfully (and very awkwardly) to penetrate her for a good couple minutes, until she says the most embarrassing thing possible: "maybe we should just go to sleep."
At this point I was already way behind the curve and now I felt like I was missing out on my sexual peak years, which is why I decided to see a provider. Now finally the opportunity has arisen, and this way, a.) I can stop lying to my friends about having had sex before and b.) do it with someone who can cater to my particular situation and hopefully teach me a thing or two, and c.) boost my confidence for when the situation arises with a civ.
...but back to the anxiety part. First of all, as I mentioned above, I'm not exactly packing a Buick in my trousers, and I don't want to screw up again and let the pressure get to me by failing to penetrate. I'm thinking cowgirl would be most optimal in my situation...but I can't just blatantly ask for that, can I?
Secondly, I'm concerned about LE. My appointment is with a highly reviewed girl so I'm not TOO concerned, but again this is my first time with a provider and I want to be as careful as possible.
Sorry for the rant, but hopefully it wasn't too boring. Any advice would be greatly appreciated
You can blatantly ask for anything you want. Providers are there to please you. Granted there are some things they won't do, but cg is certainly on the menu. And CG is often for me the best position to start out in, because it is comfortable and easy. (After a great deal of 69. I love 69!) Sometimes it seems a little weird voicing these specific requests, but providers actually want to hear what you want to do.
If you're meeting is with a highly reviewed TER provider, no reason to worry about LE.
Maybe it would make you less nervous if it were more "date-like" and you got to talk and calm down a bit before moving on? Maybe not, just an idea.
Do not ask for cowgirl until the two of you are getting down to business (of course, if you're doing 69, I think it's fairly safe at that point ). If you came right in and asked for it from me without my being comfortable with you yet, I would assume you were LE.
And we see cocks of all shapes and sizes. Some of us would even prefer one on the smaller side than a really large one (those hurt!) So cross that off your list of things to worry about
Just make sure to email the provider ahead of time and tell her that you are a virgin virgin and have had performance anxiety problems before.
It may help to schedule a longer appointment 2 hours if you can afford it.
Relax and don't think about it, just fantasize about beautiful women. If you have chosen a well reviewed, experienced provider they will know what to do. Just let them control the entire date and before you know it - you won't be a virgin anymore.
Take your post and copy it on "The Erotic Highway" Board. There the Goddess will have good advice for you along with several other hobbyists who have been in your position.
Several days ago on that board - there was a thread about a 21 yr old virgin wanting to see a provider. Go back a few pages and read it.
Also don't let the negative opinions by a few providers and hobbyists about virgins visiting providers discourage you.
As far as LE - just use COMMON SENSE. Don't ever talk about money and sex, lay the envelope on a table be discreet etc.
I admit it really sounds like you have thought this through. As there was a thread about a very similar situation here last week: PLEASE READ IT (link attached below). Beyond that...
Be absolutely sure she knows you are a virgin ahead of time! If she does, and will still see you, then relax and let her take care of you. Put yourself in her (well reviewed) hands and you will have a wonderful time.
This is not a civy girl, you do not need to impress her. You need to be sure you are clean, on-time, truthful, and are a gentleman for every step of the journey. Follow her lead. Yes - ask for RCG but wait until you've arrived and can speak to her about it in person.
To these wonderful ladies size really doesnt matter unless you have the opposite problem that I happen to share with you. Small is pleasant, large can be painful. Of course, this would sound better coming from a provider, but I really believe it is the truth.
DO NOT DRINK or do any drugs before your appointment. Your "performance problem" wasnt you before, it was the crap you had consumed earlier.
Well, good luck! As long as you use common sense and are respectful to your provider's wishes I think you'll have a fantastic experience.
Thanks for the advice guys. Sorry I missed that other thread...this does feel sort of like a repost now...although after reading that thread I don't think it's quite the same since I've been in a long term emotional relationship before and I've had at least some sexual experience - while the other OP had none and most of the responses were directed towards those points. Still, some very helpful responses there though!
I think you are right. I cautioned the other individual against seeing a provider because I thought the issues were much deeper. Your's seem much more minor. I can see some time with providers making you a bit more comfortable with pleasing a woman.
I would offer one piece of advice. At your age, don't allow yourself to get carried away with paid sex versus developing civilian relationships.
BTW, don't worry about the size of your dick, size is overrated. Learn to work your tongue and you'll be quite popular.
shrivel the balls of most men. Sorry that happened to you and the one thing I can guarantee is that a provider will not say that.
Get laid my friend. Buy a VIP, scroll through the new reviews from your region, pick the one for you and pull the trigger. This isn't like the previous post, he seemed like he was a little emotionally stunted, and was basically advised to get some more input before seeing a provider.
If you are pushed towards an agency because of a lack of references, it's OK, but choose wisely. It will be easy to be feel compelled to take whoever is available when you first call because you have just worked up the balls to place the call and you don't want to back off, but think long and hard about which lady you see. She should still be well reviewed, and you should not hesitate to tell the booker or owner that you are a virgin - she or he will most likely want to make sure you will come back, so you will probably be sent to someone for your situation.
Just keep in mind that the sex you experience with a well reviewed provider may very well not be matched by a future SO without some patience, practice, and luck.
The only othe recommendation Id make is, find one 5 to 10 years older than you. I dont know, maybe its because is was broken in by an older woman, but there is some thing in the chemistry of a young guy and an older woman that makes for great sex.
Find a sweet girl, get married and have your first be on your wedding night! Kidding(unless that appeals to you)
Don't put so much worry behind the thought, you won't have fun even if you want too because you will have driven your stress level so high nothing good could ever happen in your mind.
Do some homework, find a well reviewed provider and let things take there course! If you are an introvert or incredibly shy guy, find a lady that likes to take control and hang on for the ride!
Treat the lady like a lady and you'll have a good time. Like most guys, you can try to please her, but ultimately this is all about you. Relax, enjoy, have fun. As for what you want, just ask that she be on top, she'll know exactly what you mean. And by all means, mention this is your first time. Maybe not in your initial contact, but certainly when you meet her. If she is well-reviewed, she'll take care of you.
Just remember, this is a great hobby but can be very addictive. If you choose to do this more than a one time thing, pace yourself my son. And most importantly, she may treat you like a king. But remember this is her profession.
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). If you came right in and asked for it from me without my being comfortable with you yet, I would assume you were LE.