It's never happened to me, but I do hear that sometimes the jerk strikes after the first meeting once you've let your guards down.
what happens?
I guess I'm wondering what to do...
When someone leaves without paying.. is there a place where providers exchange information on these people??
National Blacklist is another site:
http://www.nationalblacklist.com/
Lauren, My advice to you is to find a provider near you that is willing to be a mentor to you. Most ladies have explicit instructions on their web site about "the envelope" and sometimes say to use the restroom in the first 5 minutes of their arrival so that they can count the $$$ out of our sight and put it away. Once the business is taken care of, the fun begins.
Please don't judge all of us by this jerk.
When I first started in the business, I worked for an agency that told all the girls:
"Collect the money up front (no exceptions). You should never have to ask the client about it."
I'm assuming you are checking references...if you are not, you should. "No play for play" will spread like wildfire on the discussion board(s) and you should obviously let the reference know that the person she gave the thumbs up to, hosed you. Be safe!
yes I check references... and I checked him out beforehand as well...
I had actually seen him once before a few weeks ago and everything went very well. We had been emailing back and forth the past week trying to find a time to get together and we finally did. everything went very well and he asked if he could have my number so I gave it to him. He left and I completely forgot all about money until after he was long gone. I thought I'd give him the benefit of the doubt that he just forgot like I did so I emailed him. No response. I waited another day and emailed him again today and no response. So much for a nice guy huh?
I have to say though that I don't really think he initially intended on not paying.. I do think he forgot.. but now that he got away with it.. well shit, why would he come back?!
-- Modified on 3/12/2008 9:20:21 PM
Did he answer your previous emails fairly quickly? If he did then he is now avoiding you and you will not see any money. If he didn't then it just might be the "haven't read email yet" delay.
Personally I don't care about all those other guys who say "the session just doesn't feel like a true GFE session if she counts the money first". They arrive at your place with the money (or have it ready when you get to their place), they have it counted out properly, they have it in a quick reaching pocket, then pull it out and set it down. All of those actions enforce that the session is a "PAID" session, and they know it. You can try to use discretion with the money, but always always always make sure you have it and have all of it before you do anything with the gentleman.
b-
Yes, he always answered within one day.. thats why I only waited one day for a response before I started to doubt.. I'm SURE he's read it and I'm SURE he knows...
Its just so weird though. Yeah, I've only met him twice but he seemed like such a nice, normal guy... I never had a bad feeling about him for a second and since then I've heard from two other providers who say they've met him and both said he was a decent guy. It just makes you wonder.. is it ever okay to trust anyone? I guess not.
No it is not, ever.
Harsh, yes.
Reality, yes.
b-
You have been "seduced". Get the money at the begining. I always make sure the lady has it at the start so the fun won't have any distractions.
I'm amazed by that every time. If the roles were reversed, that's the first thing I'd do. (well, maybe second, after saying 'hello, come in.')
Of course not!!! She picked it up and put in her purse, or said something like "let me put this away". She then likely retired to another room to inspect your contribution, its not like she is going to go to the bathroom leaving her purse with you, a total stranger (assuming this is a first meeting).
Out of the last dozen times I've met ladies for the first time, only once did the envelope move from where I put it when I walked in. No attempt to count it, excuse herself, etc. This was with independents and also a few agency ladies. In fact, for outcall, I had to remind them to take it. She was so engrossed in what we were talking about. (I'm not claiming any special 'aura', just anecdotal sharing.)
Just thinking out loud, but for most of the ladies, I had sent them a detailed initial email, giving my TER handle, as well as links to some of my posts and research I was interested in. For all of them we had nice email and/or phone conversations ongoing prior to meeting. (excepting the agency ladies who I couldn't contact) Each lady neeeds to do what she is comfortable with. I have no problem if she opened and counted right there. None have.
so far, yep. Indy and agency gals alike. There hasn't been a dash off to another room except to get the warm washcloth, which at that point the deed had already been done. If they've managed to move to envelope without me noticing (not that I paid close attention) while we were both in the same room, that was quite an impressive sleight of hand.
It's never happened to me, but I do hear that sometimes the jerk strikes after the first meeting once you've let your guards down.
As Reagan said: Trust, but verify.
That said, I've been with a lot of ladies that don't check. I put the envelope on the table when I arrive, and excuse myself to give her a chance to count it discretely.
Most of the time, especially after the first date, the lady never touches the envelope. In fact, I had one ask me on the way out, and I reminded her it was on the table.
Maybe because I'm upfront with it? Who knows, I could be leaving monopoly money.
IMHO: The Lady should always check, and the guy should give her the opportunity to check discretely. I would actually prefer if the lady checks, takes the envelope, and put it away. That way, I know we are on the same page about the date.
he'd pay. I know I would. It's a shame that the actions of a few leave so many feeling jaded.It's a shame that providers need to collect up front, but it is a reality.
I have to confess, I only pay upfront about half the time. The other half of the time I pay after the session. One thing I would like to point out, I never tip in advance and only occassionally will tip after the session if I have already paid. OTOH if I have a wonderful time with a lady and I pay after the session there is something even more GFE about it and I am=lmost always tip in those circumstances.
That said, I still don't blame a lady for collecting upfront.I do understand the concept of once burnt and twice shy.
Got to agree with you on this.
I always place the envelope in a conspicuous area upon entry. But I have never had a provider touch it, let alone take it & count it. Her not touching the envelope tells me the girl has class.
But for that to happen, the hobbyists she encounters also must have enough class to place the correct amount in the envelope & not short-change her.
Anyone trying to leave without paying belongs in an entirely different category. I think the term is akin to stuff found floating on ponds...
I also agree however that can also backfire.
One time their was a mis-commutation between agency/provider.
agency/myself thought cash, provider thought CC.
After I escorted the provider back to her hotel (high crime area), I get a call saying I did not pay...
Rush back to room and sure enough the envelope was untouched.
Needless to say I made sure everything was taken care of that night.
the provider board and mention it there if the guy does not answer and offer to pay. He will find it very difficult to find another lady willing to accept an appointment.
Then he has to wonder if it was worth his last effort in the bizz.
I am sorry to here you got screwd, but I am sure it will make you more savy about making sure you see the envelope before you start.
oxOXox
PS
hmmmm never had that hapen.. i always always gey money first and exscse myself and put it in safe palce..... ima noticing a lot of providers take payment afterwards..are yall CRAZY???
Seduced? I'm not so sure I feel as though I was seduced. Honestly, I just forgot.. and he pretty much took advantage of it...
Its too bad about the trust thing.. as someone who enjoys doing this, its really hard to offer a gfe, relax and have a good time when there isn't even the smallest amount of trust. That said, a new Suburu is starting to look really good right about now... 
If you're waiting until afterwords for your roses could you give me your phone number?
OF COURSE YOU GET GET THAT FIRST. IF YOU DID'T HEAR ME THEN, OF COURSE YOU GET THAT FIRST.
This also happened to me very recently. I think I've thoroughly learned my lesson - although clients have paid after the session (and tipped generously!) before, I should have been less naive.
The question is - what to do now? He said he just didn't have any money at the time, and will pay me later. I'm very doubtful. What action should I take, or should I just let this go?
Seriously that would have to be the lamest excuse from an adult male. Do you think he would try this at a restaurant AFTER eating and expensive meal? Not on your life. Place this idiot on any one of the escort only boards and make sure you have enough details so he can be identified by others. You realize he will try this again because it worked with you. I would probably chalk this up to newness but do yourself and others a favor and never let this happen again.
A word of advice...always get the money up front. If a guy turns into a regular client and by that I mean several visits with a growing comfort and trust level, then and only then, should you allow a more informal exchange of gratuity. Otherwise this will happen again. Best of luck in the future and screen extensively too.
I am sorry that some *ss H*le ripped you off. I'm pretty new but I could swear that it used to be that (when I started, just over a year ago) it was to be left on the dresser when leaving. Now, it seems that most want it upfront. I can tell you that ALL of the upsellers & under performers want it up front. I've had bad experiences...
I always go on a date with the correct funds folded over with a paper clip in a front pocket with my keys. Once I was shocked while dressing, I discovered it was still there. I was no where near the door and I easily placed it on the dresser but it made me concerned that I might have forgotten. If so, I would have driven the long drive back to make it right.
If I drop the donation while getting dressed, it's smooth & seemingly unnoticed but it's always gone before she walks me out. EVEN if payment is after, the provider must speak up if he doesn't drop it. "Did you forget something?"
We don't need liars & cheats on either side of this business.