Because of the post on the next page concerning a lack of DFK, I thought I'd offer an update on a thread from July on my own no DFK situation. As the Love Goddess suggested, I did indeed seek others to "kiss and tell," and I had a couple of fine experiences. Nothing at all to complain about. However, something was really missing. After a couple of months of not seeing nor contacting the no-DFKer (henceforth to be known as the ATF), I found that I was missing the connection we had made on a personal level. That connection is what I meant when I refered to the "emotional investment" in the original post. The fact is, I just liked her a lot, and the feeling was, at least on a business level, reciprocal. When I finally did call her after several weeks, I said "Hey, do you think we might DFK this time?" She said sure. That was all it took. It was a fabulous encounter, and the next was even better (to tell you the truth, it was more like LFK, but it was so much better than before that I can't complain too much). Six months in this hobby have taught me something very simple about myself: that I am not really cut out for this "hobby." Not in the sense of having a multitude of encounters with women I'll probably never see again and where sex is the only end result. I'm not knocking that, and a part of me wishes that I COULD be like that. I'm just not. Encounters with others (in spite of plenty of DFK) have not left me with an overwhelming feeling of well-being. The problem is, they aren't her. With the ATF, I feel like I'm walking on air every time I see her. Her giggle and her smile are enough to make your worst day a great one. Her eyes alone are an example of what inspires poets to write their best sonnets. No, I haven't crossed that emotional line; I'm smarter than that. I just have a great time with this woman. The DFK issue was important to me, but not as important as other considerations. So, I did kind of take your advice, but that detour in the road ended up leading right back to her, and I think it is a fortuitous thing.
-- Modified on 10/28/2007 11:35:25 AM
I remember the original message -- very glad the followup worked out well. I tend to agree with your sentiments -- as a relative newcomer to the hobby, despite having had irregular civvy and paid encounters here and there for many years, I have little interest in seeing how many notches there are on the bedpost, nor do I expect or ask for a laundry list of positions at a session. It's more satisfying to me to try to discover what is most mutually enjoyable and get to it, perhaps or perhaps not covering a number of bases along the way. Younger guys seem to be more influenced by porn movies and the variety of positions they portray, and that's fine if that is most satisfying -- I don't mean that as a criticism. I came along before the era of rampant porn, and I was influenced by it, but probably much less so. Maybe I'm missing out by not running the table at every session, but as long as I and partner have smiles on our faces at the end, I count it a success.
Good for you, amolatinas!
As to being cut out for "the hobby" - well, hobbying comes in many forms. Some men play women by numbers, others feel like walking on air in the presence of their ATF. And that's great! And as you pointed out, maybe you're not cut out for the multiple female experience, but as long as you're paying for time and companionship with a professional, in my book, it's hobbying....just a different version thereof.
Maybe we should call it "adoring" instead of hobbying. Oh heck, it's just words anyway. Your posting shows that you've gone beyond simple definitions. Congrats to you, my friend. May your ATF appreciate you as much as you do her!
Bliss out,
the Love Goddess