As a screener for several indys I can attest that getting started can be frustrating at times. You can get an appointment with a good indy if she will take the time to screen you, but you must bear in mind that in their eyes you are more of a risk than those with references. Most will have contact forms to fill out which will ask for personal info. such as full name, age, work info. phone you will be calling from, etc. If you have no references the personal info. becomes more important to verify you, some guys even list their work website that will show they work there and what they do, ladies love that. Remember the only thing reputable ladies care about is verifying that you are legit, just your word that you are not a creep will not cut it.
Personally I have never heard of anyone getting 'cold calls' after giving out their info. LOL Joining a service like DateCheck, Preferred 411, or RoomService are great but also limited when you first get started. At first all that is posted for the ladies to see is the fact that the service has verified your work info. After you have seen some ladies that belong to that service they will post referrals for you in you account for everyone else to see, then life gets much easier for you. Hope that helps some.
Hi all! Long time lookie-loo wanting to take the next step, but first wanted a few answers to "beginner" questions. Any info you could give me would be much appreciated. Im in SGV in So. Cal if that helps at all with answers.
1. Screening Process. I'm no creep and would never harm a provider or scam em. Just how much of my info does a provider need? Real name? Address? Work Phone? (If work phone is a must, what is your experience with the "call" to work?) Also, I've heard of people getting cold calls after giving out there info. Does that really happen?
2. Referrals. Most agencies and indies want referral and I can understand why, my question is.. How does someone like myself (with no referrals) get started in the hobby? I'm down for meeting screeners for coffee or whatever. What are your experiences in getting that first referral?
Thanks in advance for your positive replies. Have a wonderful day.
-- Modified on 2/16/2008 4:48:36 PM
-- Modified on 2/16/2008 4:49:58 PM
well, name and work number anyway. They don't need a home address. The work number is just to verify legitimate employment. Its for their protection.
Stating "I'm no creep and would never harm a provider or scam em. " is not gonna do it on its own.
As for referrals, its a bit of a catch-22. When I first started, I did not even get courtesy of reply from the first provider I sent email to (twice) so I moved on and went with an agency. Generally, its somewhat easier to get confirmed by an agency than an indy who has to be doubly careful on her own. Then with a couple of agency referrals you can then try with an indy. Some won't accept agency referrals , others will. Not that there is anything wrong with agency girls, there are some fine ones out there but I understand the general preference among many for indy girls.
But an indy has a tough time getting started as well. Many hobbyists won't meet someone without any reviews or references. Not considering myself enough of a seasoned vet yet, I still stick with the rule of at least 3 reviews from people who have each made at least 3 reviews themselves.
You need to give the lady enough information so that she feels comfortable in seeing you. This will vary from lady to lady.
The call to work is similar to a bank calling to check on your employment in order to give you a loan. "Does Joe Smith work for your company? If so, how long? Thank you."
You can use a referral service like Preferred411, Date Check, or RS2000. Depending on your location, one of these may be better received than another.
Happy hobbying.
Welcome to the hobby and TER. Your questions apply regardless of where you live. I have a template that I use to send to providers when introducing myself via e-mail that could be used if using a dating site, providing my real name, the state I am from, occupation, physical description including height, weight, race, age, the fact that I am single, and where I heard about them. Since you have no refeences, you can either search for a lady that doesn't screen (not good), find one that will accept employment verification (common, and not a scary as you would think), or explain your situation in your e-mail or phone call, and see if she will work with you. The only work verification call I ever received was so subtle it did occur to me until several minutes later that the bank rep asking for someone else was actually a screening call. As for cold calls, yes, that can happen, but in my experience only with ladies that I have seen several times, and told it was ok to do so. As for getting referrals, my best advice is to make your first outing with a well reviewed and known lady from your area. And make sure you get VIP, if you haven't already...
I was you only a few weeks ago!
In addition to the great and sound advice above, I would add that a verification service is a really great way to get started. Preferred411 and Datecheck both appear to be well received. After awhile they may lose their usefulness, but joining has made things go very smoothly for me.
I chose not to go the agency route as it felt too impersonal for a first-time. Instead I researched my provider and followed her website-posted advice, which led me to verification services. It turned out better than I could have dreamed!
So good luck, and be sure to post reviews of your fun!
As a screener for several indys I can attest that getting started can be frustrating at times. You can get an appointment with a good indy if she will take the time to screen you, but you must bear in mind that in their eyes you are more of a risk than those with references. Most will have contact forms to fill out which will ask for personal info. such as full name, age, work info. phone you will be calling from, etc. If you have no references the personal info. becomes more important to verify you, some guys even list their work website that will show they work there and what they do, ladies love that. Remember the only thing reputable ladies care about is verifying that you are legit, just your word that you are not a creep will not cut it.
Personally I have never heard of anyone getting 'cold calls' after giving out their info. LOL Joining a service like DateCheck, Preferred 411, or RoomService are great but also limited when you first get started. At first all that is posted for the ladies to see is the fact that the service has verified your work info. After you have seen some ladies that belong to that service they will post referrals for you in you account for everyone else to see, then life gets much easier for you. Hope that helps some.
Thanks all for replying. I can hardly wait to start. Thanks again for easing my mind and I will definately take your advice. Have a great day one and all!