so let me be the first to say it here....no reason to treat an indy any different from an agency girl.
There's been a lot of threads on gifts...what kind, how, when, where?? But, the underlying thing probably on the guys mind is if they bring a gift would it naturally lead to a more favorable response from the provider and hence a better time? What do you guys and girls think? Not that a girl even expects it, but wouldn't she naturally like getting a gift and hence subconsciously want to treat you better?
my intial response confused the issue of tipping vs gift giving.
I think jazz32's response below answers the question best.
-- Modified on 1/8/2008 6:19:38 AM
so let me be the first to say it here....no reason to treat an indy any different from an agency girl.
-- Modified on 1/8/2008 6:21:09 AM
I buy the argument made in previous discussions that independents have expenses agency girls don't have even though agency girls give up a percentage of their fee. Indy's have all their incall, advertising, and lost time due to screening/verifying so I don't see the argument on tipping only agency gals.
Besides, to me tipping is for the great experience, not who the employer is.
Obviously an emotional issue for some as I seem to have to put up with hate mail every time I post this opinion! But luckily, I've got thick skin!
So do gifts affect quality time? I really don't know!!! But it can set the tone for the session!!!
I've long been on the record as a gift-giving, anti-tip fool. But showing up with something for the two of you to enjoy together, (Godiva Chocolates, a nice bottle of wine {but you will want to check her site to see if she is interested, and be sure you carry your own corkscrew}, or sensual massage oil, can really make the session take off. Showing up with a couple of items from from Victoria's Secret can easily lead to an impromptu fashion show, which can lead to a number of possibilities!!!
Just remember, our female friends meet, and put up with more than their fair share of jerks, anything that you do to show them that you are not one of them will serve you VERY WELL!!!
I have gifted three providers- once to a new friend and several times to my favorite repeats. They were always well received and the sessions were special- not necesarily because of the gifts but perhaps the closeness the gifts created?
The one I have done for a new visit was a lot of fun- the gal had let me know it was her birthday when I booked and we actually together in pre-meeting pm's planned her 'party'! I brought a gift, she brought he bubbly and a couple glasses, and we toasted her birthday, opened the gift, and went on from there. Ended up being one of my most fun visits!
I am one who usually brings a small gift(s) to an appointment. I don't expect that giving a gift will get me a better session. It's simply my small way of showing her that I appreciate her seeing me. Do I need to bring a gift? Absolutely not, but it's something I enjoy doing, and I think the providers generally appreciate a little gesture like that. I would think that if I didn't bring a gift, the truly good providers would still give me great sessions. Sometimes you can just be a nice guy doing something nice.
Everyone likes a gift, hence it probably enhances the relationship to some degree. For me it's much like overdressing. I'd rather show up someplace looking my best, or liking the way I look, because I feel more confident that way.
I usually bring a small treat to begin with, and for those women I plan on, and indeed return to, I send something afterward. The women I return to have listed, on their websites, places they like giftcards from. I don't leave money afterward since it always seems too awkward to put money in the envelop I left on the dresser, or leaving money out after she has pickup the envelop. I guess the only way I would know if giving a gift helps, would be to stop giving them and see what happens. I'm not all that interested to find out. You go first!
Treating them with kindness, respect and paying them their fee (which, per hour, is 5-10x what I pay every other professional I've ever met, outside of the medical establishment) seems plenty for me.
Only give to the extent that you will not become resentful if you do not get the response you are looking for.
Gifts always help break the ice with a lady you are seeing for the first time. If I am having a lady come to my hotel room, I always ask what beverage she would like.
In civvie life, I/we would never think of visiting a friend's home for a party or event without a "hostess gift." It is a sign of respect for the individual involved and of gratitude for being accepted.
Sure, the Hobby is a commercial venture. Some may think it is more akin to a visit to a doctor, accountant or other professional, a visit where a gift wound be totally INappropriate. I would strongly disagree.
Whether incall or outcall, you are there for an interpersonal relationship. If you cannot respect your provider as a person, perhaps you should rethink your choices or your involvement.
Gifts need not be expensive, but they should show thought and planning. You can find ideas on many ladies' web pages. For one recent first visit, I just brought a reasonably well reviewed bottle of her favorite type of wine. She offered to share it as an 'opener.' (No pun intended.)It was offered in a special gift bag, not just a store's paper or plastic bag.
Another time, I saw a bobble head doll of Supergirl in a store. It looked amazingly like a lady I was planning to visit soon, according to the pictures on her web pages. On a whim, I brought it, gift wrapped, on my first visit. What a great ice-breaker it turned out to be. We had our laughs, especially when I commented how Supergirl's face was nearly as beautiful hers and the doll's boobs were amazingly like hers; firm and prominent. From stroking the doll, we quickly moved on to stroking each other.
The last time I was back to see her, the bobblehead was still in her bookcase with other mementos.
Personally, I would never dream of showing up without a gift, especially with a new (for me) provider.
Gifting is a totally different subject than tipping.
-- Modified on 1/7/2008 7:40:44 PM
I think you put it eloquently... I've done both...gone with a gift or without a gift... I think I show up with a gift because deep down, I don't really want to treat it like an impersonal business transaction...as I still feel like there is some intimate human interaction and I just want to show respect. The ladies I have seen have mentioned that they liked the way I treat them, as if I was courting them on a date. It's not that I think the gift gets me any extra service...I would have no idea as I don't see sessions wiht other guys, but it does seem to be a nice icebreaker just like sharing a nice conversation does also...plus, it makes it less impersonal for me rather than just a "session" and in the two of my best experiences who turned into my atf's I happened to have brought gifts. I guess the girl saw it as a sign of respect and you care about them as a person and not just some object to get your jollies off of and then leave. I do tip also (sometimes), but probably more with girls I repeat with....my gifts also tend to be a lot more expensive with favorite girls that I feel like I have a real good connection with.
in the way of advice. A relative newbie, himself, he is a true gentleman. I have "intimate" knowledge of this!
A true class act!
Thank you sooo much, Sinful One. Coming from you, a very high compliment indeed.
I so look forward to again discussing this and other topics in a more intimate and personal setting, but until that happens, these postings will have to do. I hope you enjoyed my little gift when we met. I certainly enjoyed the gift you gave us all, in GENT Magazine.
But have only given a gift once to a lady I had not seen before....
She was a very high end provider, and I thought a gift would be a nice way to break the ice....
And we did have a wonderful time....
RocketMan36
Gifts are always appreciated. I love gifts. But then again, all ladies do. Its a female thing. Its a nice way of showing a lady you had an enjoyable time. Many men wait until after the appt to give a gift, some before.
Personally, what affects the quality of time is attitude (yours), courtesy, cleanliness and the correct donation. If you show up, freshly showered (or shower at her place) and treat the lady with courtesy... you should have a wonderful time.
Also gifts are never expected... and as a few gents have said before.. the best gift is a repeat visit or a nice review. *wink*
I am a provider. Here's my answer:
I *like* gifts. Who doesn't like them? But, I don't mistreat guys who don't bring them.
I guess I remember guys fondly, like "Oh, he is that sweetheart who got me that awesome purse that I love!" with a little smile.
When I showed up with that bottle of plum wine last summer when you were visiting Boston...ah memories!