That slapping sound you hear is all of the other married guys smacking their foreheads because your wife is willing to suck dick and you are indifferent about it.

Just kidding.

Seriously, what you are describing is called a private viewing or PV.  Some GFE providers advertise such services at a reduced rate.  More conveniently, most cities of any size will have a selection of agencies that specialize in such services, although the shower finish might be harder to find.

Perhaps you should post a request on your regional board or the "In Search of" board to solicit recommendations for PV.  

You can also try using the search function and choose "Sex:  No," although that will likely turn up a lot of erotic massage ladies who may not provide PV, while excluding GFE providers who may be willing to provide PV.  But hey, it's a start.

I wish you the best.  Know that once you find what you are looking for, you may not be satisfied.  If you find her in your own community, she will still be there when you think you will return your focus to your family, you know?  Maybe, just maybe, you should limit your lust to fantasy if you are not really into the hobby.

Good luck, Superfly.

Search for the type of girl you crave
Go to her website, see if she is playful enough to want to do that

OR if you find one you love, send her an email, be real and write what you wrote above

You never know if you don't try.
Again, just be a gentleman about it

I enjoy this activity from time to time and I'd say more than half the gals are able and willing to offer this.  Just ask.

I respect your recognition that it needs to stop. I agree with you that it does. You're not into BJ's. are you human? ... Oh lord... CBJ's are god-awful, but a sloppy BBBJ.. Anyway..

You sound like a voyeur type and there is certainly nothing wrong with that. You don't want the physical contact you just want a real-life experince that isn't staring into a TV watching porn. The truth is; it can be very erotic, and like BG said, alot will do it you just have to ask. It's not that it's less work on them, but it's easier certainly.

Embrace your fetishes Super, that's what these girls are for. For example, I love to see cum anywhere on a woman. There are plenty of girls, that hate it, or 'dodge' it. Or only offer CBJ. Since this is my fetish they don't make the cut. Girls, or wives, or girlfriends, or fiances, somtimes won't let you give them a pearl necklace or masterbate while they get off, et, all. explore your fantasies satiate them, so you can provide for your child and wife.

If you cannot satiate them ever, and feel you will cheat though, I can't reccomend you stay in the marriage, but that is my personal-hangup.

hope that helps.

-m