I found your post interesting and very well thought out. But on the flip side, I've experienced (especially more recently), that providers will often commit to a time, and then withhold the place, but then at the last second, bail. That is equally frustrating. I wish I could come up with some rational and more human explanation, but it often seems to be like hotels or airlines - you overbook because clients cancel on you, and this is a way to insure business doesn't suffer.
Many NEW clients cancel their appointments “last minute”, because they feel increasingly ambivalent, as they approach a planned meeting by location or by time. I suppose that normally they, themselves, are not aware of their ambivalence. As many other situations, as more people approach a situation they very much look forward to or they are excited about, as more their ambivalence will intensify when they approach that situation. It is similar like going on a blind date or even a job interview. They feel it as a somewhat diffuse inner discomfort. If discomfort becomes too strong, people ALWAYS find a “reason” to back-out of the situation (unless they go to a badly needed job interview). The client will call up then and excuse himself for not being “able to make it” because “something else” came up, i.e. an “unforeseen workload” or similar excuses. The stress of a large metropolitan area, as LA and literally having a lot’s of time waiting in traffic yield thoughts of doubt, nervousness. There also often is a fear to either not “measure up” or not to find what he fantasized about. I believe that every provider encounters this type of clients, who want so much, who are longing so intensely, who are so deprived and who are so excited that they cope with their overwhelming anticipations by finally ‘”backing out”.
And, gratefully we all have these wonderful new clients who are certain and who are definitely “in” for a good time
I found your post interesting and very well thought out. But on the flip side, I've experienced (especially more recently), that providers will often commit to a time, and then withhold the place, but then at the last second, bail. That is equally frustrating. I wish I could come up with some rational and more human explanation, but it often seems to be like hotels or airlines - you overbook because clients cancel on you, and this is a way to insure business doesn't suffer.
"not measure up?" Do you use a ruler or what?
I don't think its that complicated. I know some hobbyists who will book with a provider, then a hot review comes up and they will cancel their prior booking and schedule with the girl in the new review. Its kind of sleazy, but when the small head is doing the thinking . . . . .
I think it's more nerves than anything else, and perhaps some unrelated thing spooks them (like LE driving by the hotel as they approach - it's probably nothing, but in their mind, LE 'knows' what's about to happen). Of course, it could also be other reasons, including yours, or a prior bad experience.
I'd say if you provide a good experience, you make it easier for the next person after you....
Sorry, I can't relate to this. Example, if I make an appointment with someone, my anticipation isn't going to allow me to cancel. I always look forward to meeting that person.My problem is that the night before my date, I can't seem to get a good night sleep. But I do get alittle nervous the first time, but that's normal, but for me to bail out and cancel? It has never happened or has the thought crossed my mind...
Which is probably more a problem with guys that use backpage, but it can happen anywhere. Guy is horny, sees ad, makes appointment. Later gets so horny her jerks himself off. Appointment times comes. He is not so horny. He is thinking, WTF, that will cost my whole paycheck from McDonalds. What if my GF finds out. Then he cancels.
Okay, maybe I'm being a little sarcastic with the McDonalds part. But definitely they were first being impulsive then got cold feet
for doubts or discomfort. if i have second thoughts i will be sure to cancel far in advance (a week or so) and i haven't cancelled in a long long time.
i realize this is an income for ladies and it's beyond rudeness to make a date if one is not 100% sure he wants to go through with it.
only a newbie would make a date and then back out at the last minute (without a legitimate real life interference reason)
From my experience it's ALWAYS newbies that do this, especially since they're a pain in the ass to screen. They either get cold feet, chicken out due to guilt, or the fact that they're going to be out a couple hundred dollars hits them in the face.
Best cold feet excuses I've gotten:
"I lost sleep over this decision (to cancel,) but this is a one in a lifetime opportunity" says the guy, after emailing me over the course of a month like I'm his pen pal or something. Conveniently his life changing experience was during that hour in that day that we were going to meet.
"I had a death in the family and I have to cancel because it's an act of God" Did God also tell you that there's a cancellation fee? The guy was shocked when I told him to fuck off when he tried to reschedule.
"I am sick with the fever so I have to cancel" Not a fever, but THE fever. The only thing you're sick with is Bullshit Syndrome.
So yeah, so guys that do this are awful and inconsiderate dicks.
I had something weird happen last week where I was meeting a regular. Told me to come now she was ready. Get there and she still does not have the room. So I am sitting in this parking lot waiting. 15 minutes goes by and a sheriff department squad car parks close to me. I am a dude sitting in a hotel parking lot in my car. The only thing I could think to do was start my car and go. At least that way I could play it off that I was looking for directions or something.
So I tell this to my regular who gets furious at me and is not speaking to me even though she was the one that was 45 minutes late
Similar story: had to wait in a hotel lobby for 90 minutes because she was late (kept calling with that "running late!" message). She gets in and calls me upstairs. She has to take a bath (on the clock) and then said she had to cut short the time because she had to go for her next appointment. WTF.
Not exactly a no-show or a last-minute cancellation, but might as well have been.
Yep. That's frustrating when they agree to a time, confirm, then don't have a room at the agreed time - then get mad when you decline their proposed alternative time which doesn't work with your schedule.
So I tell this to my regular who gets furious at me and is not speaking to me even though she was the one that was 45 minutes late
There are a variety of things that can happen. For one thing, sometimes a hotel will tell someone they can have an early check in. Then when the lady shows up, "oh sorry the room is not ready yet". Good communication is important. It's totally understandable why RamsayBolton left the parking lot. On the other hand, why didn't RamsayBolton park down the street until she actually texted the room number and said she was ready in the room? She might not have realized he was so close. If she did, then she should have waited until she actually had the room.
I had something similar happen once, a lot of LE activity. Plus I had not met the lady before. I left and returned later after ensuring myself it was really her there....I basically screened her before I would return.
More recently I saw a provider and she was almost an hour late by the time she got the room. But she had a lot of variables outside her control I won't go into. In general, when scheduling to see a lady at a hotel early, it probably is better to always allow extra time and not have a tight schedule. There are so many things that can go wrong with that and delay the actual check in. Things totally outside her control. Then it becomes very frustrating for both parties.