Hello,  

To be honest, your desire for external validation can't be quenched by the Vegas plan you've outlined. This so-called fix will simply be a waste of money and you're probably better off doing something else that has nothing to do with women.  

Why do you not want to fall in love?

I don't know what the best options are as far as the divorce situation goes. A talk with a lawyer may be a good starting point.

And I do agree that a big fling weekend in Vegas is probably not the best use of $2500 at this point. Maybe a visit with a therapist (alone, not with your spouse) would be a good place to start, because it seems like you need to invest in yourself a bit. With my minimal experience, I can say that when I was unhappy with my real life, that also clouded my sessions with ladies. When I was happy, that helped make my sessions shine and be fun.

Best luck out there buddy. Everyone makes their own choices, and has to live with them, but your life isn't over and you have more choices to make that can be great for you..

I am speechless!  Have no idea where to begin.

If you truly are lonely and don't want to spend the rest of your life alone, have you thought about trying to date a mature woman equal in age and average looks?    

Maybe instead of looking for physical beautiful, how about an average looking woman with a beautiful, loving and generous heart who is your age who will love and adore you for the rest of your life?  

If you want a sense of being wanted for a few hours, you are at the right place.

You wrote...."She's 17 years younger, she's beautiful, your average and its a SD/SB relationship."

You also wrote....."I have tried Whatsyourprice, SeekingAraingement, Backpage and of course here.  I am either too poor, very probable or haven't hit an emotional connection like I need....not trying to fall in love but am lonely and need a sense of being wanted, even just a short period of time."

-- Modified on 5/10/2016 3:17:29 PM

You should really talk to an attorney about divorce.  There are usually some low cost methods for finding out some basic information, like what the likely range of financial consequences would be.  You are 53, she is 36 and has 2 children from before her time with you.  You have been married 8 years,  since she was 28.  Given the circumstances I don't see it very likely that you would have to pay crazy alimony for a long time.  Unless you adopted the kids you probably won't owe child support  and the youngest child will be out of the house in 6 years, making it easy for wife to work and support herself.

Staying longer will only increase the amount of money you will likely have to pay in alimony.  Find out now so that you can make an informed decision.

But I think you have to look at the two fundamental questions:  do you still love her and does she love you?   If the answer is no to either you need to get out now. It's hard, because after 11years, it sounds like things have devolved to merely a comfort level where the pain and heartache is decreasingly tolerable.  If the answer to both questions is yes, them marriage counseling is your next step.  

If you decide to get out, then absolutely see a lawyer.   Divorce in California after 5 years of marriage gets a bit complicated.  Even though you haven't adopted the kids, you may still owe child support. There are a ton of pitfalls and surprises.  So see a lawyer and make sure they are a certified family law specialist.  

Posted By: Nightowl805

Don't know if anyone can actually answer but insight appreciated. Things are bad at home. It's basically got me thinking divorce or staying together and moving into another room. Not rich and no assets to split. She is 17 years younger with her kids 16 and 12 now. Married 8 together 11. Alimony is a fear but to be honest, at 53 with no house or retirement.....I just might say I lived it the best I could.  Leaving for whatever reason is hard....it's essentially been a SD/SB relationship essentially without the benefits. I think she is beautiful and I am just a average guy......so it gets me to my question, psychological instability aside.  
   
 I have been with two providers and it was just.....a lot of money. Lots of performance/anxiety issues.....all the background voices are loud.  I have tried Whatsyourprice, SeekingAraingement, Backpage and of course here.  I am either too poor, very probable or haven't hit an emotional connection like I need....not trying to fall in love but am lonely and need a sense of being wanted, even just a short period of time.  
   
 So Vegas for two days for a class. I am trying to decide if I can come up with enough money for a 4 hour date and a very, very nice room. Would probably be 2 to 2 1/2 k but a bucket list type of date. Not even sure if that is enough money but I would be stretching it to get to that.  
   
 Whatsyourprice type of dates for 100 plus expenses and an average room....a different woman each night and see what happens. Just a different type of scam or up-sell.  
   
 Get really scammed and try BP with unknown menu and probably huge up-sell.  
   
 Just be a good boy and go to class and watch tv being thankful I am not at home for two nights.  
   
 Lots of issues, I have enough introspection for that. Just feeling like a broken man a a failure in many ways looking for a 2 day fix lol

I feel for you my friend. I agree with everyone that said forget Vegas. That's not the answer.
Also, my opinion, forget the lawyer for now. They are in business for you to seek a divorce, not find answers.
Find a good therapist to talk to and discuss all your issues. A major part of the process is to discuss and seek out good advice. There will be a light at the end of the tunnel.
I wish you all the best. Keep your head high and believe me things will get better. Seek out the therapist.

Funny thing about questions is you probably no the answer already. I know Vegas isn't a solution or even close to helping what's really going on....perhaps a fun distraction but not necessarily the right choice. A lot like divorce or walking away....you know it's right but can't or won't.

Thank you again everyone.

Fake your death and move to Maui or Buenes Aires

Don't Divorce Your Wife

You're asking the wrong question. Instead, ask the ladies how the men they meet stay happy in bad marriages. For example, I know a married man who keeps a crash kit under the bed incase his severely depressed, prescription pill addicted wife overdoses. It's guilt and fear of losing his money that keeps him in a loveless marriage with a mentally ill spouse. His secret to happiness is the way he copes: he socializes with friends, is active in his community, plays tennis regularly and spends time with amazing providers.  

Good experiences come with marriage and family: grand children, holidays, companionship and statistically a longer life span. It's unrealistic to think a marriage will fulfill all your needs, so let go of trying to change the marriage and instead work on changing yourself. It sounds like mentally you've been through a lot and right now you need a fun Las Vegas trip, just always remember to be discreet, don't hurt your family and enjoy yourself. You deserve it!