(partial listing)
1.  via telepathy
2.  semifore code
3.  Morse code
4.  an aldis lamp
5.  smoke signals
6.  impersonate a federal breast inspector
7.  hiding under their bed (or in their closet)
8.  wearing a diguise, especially those stupid
   fake nose, glasses and mustache.
9.  using a laser pointer
10. tossing a cell phone through their window
11. a note made up of words cut from a magazine
12. Don't send anything that you wiped any part
   of your anatomy on.
13. Don't send any pictures of your naughty
   parts.
14. Skywriting
15. Don't serenade them under their window in
   the middle of the night with a mariachi band.
16. Don't threaten to commit suicide.  They may
   take you up on it.
17. Don't try coming down the chiminey.
18. Telex
19. fax
20. wire services
21. Don't try getting the 6 O'Clock news anchor
   to lead off with a story about how you want
   to meet her.
22. Write a bestseller that ends with her having
   to contact you to find out how the book ends.
23. Become a CIA agent so that you can do any-
   thing you want.
24. Threaten to blow up stuff if she won't call
   you.
25. Hold your breath.
26. Win her in a card game.
27. Sit in her front yard.
28. Call her parents/SO.
29. Offer to write a good review on TER
30. Threatened her with a bad review on TER


But I'm sure you can think of more.  I have to finish my lunch now.