I know what you mean. My envelope is often bigger than my dick.
being a seasoned hobbyist i am amazed that i am stumped about this; my gut feeling is to move on. i'm asking for your input.
saw a great package that will be touring here in march. sent an email asking for a date, and included my references. got a response, almost right away, asking what time and how long. i replied saying x number of hours on y date. then i asked what would be the rate for a dinner date.
a week and a half later, nothing. no response to my question; even worse, no confirmation of my date and time. never had this long go between emails setting up an actual date. i could see it if it was preliminary feeling out to see if we were compatible, but i was willing to commit to x time on y date. no confirmation yet.
my feeling is that a week and half is pretty unprofessional, and i should take this as a red flag about this provider and move on.
input?
If you *really* wanted to see her, I'd give her one more chance to reply. There are all sorts of reasons why a message is seemingly ignored, and while not replying to email can indicate a lack of professionalism, we are all probably guilty at one point or another. Maybe she started a draft and forgot to send. Perhaps your reply went to her spam folder, and she forgot to check it in the last couple of weeks. What if she gets tons of email and accidentally deleted yours while aggressively catching up?
However, if you're on the fence and think it will cloud your time (should she respond given another chance), then definitely pass. While I am on the other end of things, I wouldn't want anyone to schedule time with me if they have reservations.
considered a "reservation?"
i have not heard confirmation that the day and time and time frame is acceptable. provider asked "what date and for how long" and i sent my preference, and then radio silence, for over a week and a half. not my idea of confidence making in the provider's professionalism.
maybe she wanted to fuck you, but could care less about eating dinner with you. You had the deal closed and you blew it! Lol
Seriously, I agree that is way too long for a response, and it is VERY unprofessional. With that said, there are many providers that simply don't do outside dates. There may be self-confidence issues about their ability to pull off an elegant date in the kind of upscale setting that someone like you would take her to, or a dozen other reasons, but since that seemed to be the sticking point, I would think she may still like to hit the sheets with you, but is not interested in an outside date. I know you like the outside dates, so it may be a deal-breaker for you just to meet her at an incall somewhere for playtime only. Personally, I would pass, because once they have demonstrated that they will not respond timely, its not too much of a stretch in their minds to stand you up completely. Then where are you? All dressed up, concealing some nice wood, and no place to go.
that would make sense but the dinner date is offered on her web site, just without a price included.
i'm thinking i'm going to blow this provider off. too many other ladies who have made it clear they'd like to spend time with me and my envelope, i mean dick.
I know what you mean. My envelope is often bigger than my dick.
Kerri stated a few good reasons. Hey, technology happens. Sending or receiving, we've all had emails go into the ether.
Maybe an emergency came up and she dropped everything to deal with it. Could be anything from death the family, sick friend or she got into an accident.
Maybe she is unprofessional too.
You are not going to lose anything by following up with her, one time, if you really want to see her. Either she replies and you confirm your appointment or she stays silent and you move on. If she does reply it will be interesting to see what she says.
not a bad response, think i will send one more email
Definitely I would give her the benefit of the doubt and re-send the email, maybe reworded differently if you think you touched a sensitive spot with the dinner invite, but the types of girls you are usually interested in I would think would generally have dinner with you, especially an out-of-town girl.
When I started hobbying, I almost exclusively did dinner dates with my regular girl, but eventually she would start to get recognized, especially if we dined too close to her home base, so we'd then do dinner "in" by having a wine, cheese and fruit date in the room, which was also quite fun.
In any case, I'm sure she'll respond...
I head up a customer service department and often get overwhelmed by emails and phone calls and other distractions, and sometimes among the spam and sales pitches, an email gets overlooked or response gets interrupted and ends up forever in my draft filter until I get a (sometimes) polite reminder email... and then I'm usually on top of it pronto.
We're all human
her schedule changed and she didn't bother to tell you. If it was a local one, I would wait and try one more time later because she might have had something come up. Since it is someone on tour that option is not there. It is really up to you to try and contact her one more time or forget it. I had a similar situation once. I did give her another try and scheduling and when that didn't happen I wrote her off. Sometimes I think touring ladies just get a little over loaded with planning their schedule, personal commitments, and bookings.
There is so much fantastic talent out there, that it's not worth tying yourself up. Fooled me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.
You already weirded it out by posting here about it. I don't think it's gets better tasting chewing on it more.
saw a great package that will be touring here in march. sent an email asking for a date, and included my references. got a response, almost right away, asking what time and how long. i replied saying x number of hours on y date. then i asked what would be the rate for a dinner date.
a week and a half later, nothing. no response to my question; even worse, no confirmation of my date and time. never had this long go between emails setting up an actual date. i could see it if it was preliminary feeling out to see if we were compatible, but i was willing to commit to x time on y date. no confirmation yet.
my feeling is that a week and half is pretty unprofessional, and i should take this as a red flag about this provider and move on.
input?
In your first email, you only asked for a date and included your references. This forced her to email you back asking what time and for how long. You gave her that info and then asked for an additional rate for a dinner date. So you were thinking about changing the terms of the date when she was trying to arrange an appropriate block of time for you. Considering she may have other appointments as well, you were screwing with her schedule.
That's why she got tired of responding to you. All your email ping pong should have been handled in the first email and only one response by her would have been necessary. A "seasoned hobbyist" should know better.
she likely would have less patients than local ladies due to having more to juggle. So that could well be the case. Might be better to save the dinner dates for local ladies where you can build more of a connection. Touring ladies are going to be more wham bam thank you mam. At least that is sure more likely how she is going to look at it.
Good call BP. However, I might add that she might have passed on the dinner deal even in the first e-mail for the above reasons. Need to keep in mind that even if it is listed on her web page, that web page is also designed for her local market.
For me, I have never asked for anything more than one hour from a lady I don't know well. After I have gotten to know them, then maybe I will treat them to dinner, a broadway show, or something else they are interested in and want to do. But I would never consider paying someone for their time on that. That's just me. I feel why would I even want them along if it was not something there were wanting to do anyhow? But as I said, that's just me. To each their own. I can definitely see why others would like to spend extra time initially getting to know a lady better.
Any provider with access to TER can see that BPJ is a real hobbiest and he puts his money where his mouth is (or where her mouth is 
.
In my opinion, this was an opportunity for this businesswoman to up-sell BPJ or at least lock down his revenue at the possible cost of a few extra emails and some schedule juggling.
3 emails and a very small among of kluge to lock down a grand or two?
If that's too much trouble - then business must be very, very good! Imagine if you ran your business like that Senpai?
"You're screwing with my schedule - hahaha..." That's why they call it work...
"In your first email, you only asked for a date and included your references. This forced her to email you back asking what time and for how long. You gave her that info and then asked for an additional rate for a dinner date. So you were thinking about changing the terms of the date when she was trying to arrange an appropriate block of time for you. Considering she may have other appointments as well, you were screwing with her schedule.
That's why she got tired of responding to you. All your email ping pong should have been handled in the first email and only one response by her would have been necessary. A "seasoned hobbyist" should know better."
I have run into similar problems with certain turing providers. One in particular I have tried to see a couple of times seems to be very scattered with never al clear plan on when she is going to be where. First communication went well, then no follow up. After second time I figured screw it.
But you are correct, it is certainly not uncommon at all for me to have more e-mails than 3 setting up a meeting. In fact, I have been messaging one provider who is in the area for awhile now trying to sync our schedules and she is very responsive.
Unfortunately there are others that will get impatient and if BPJ tried to overlap another booking or take a lot of time she might have decided to skip him. The thing is, the way I look at it those providers are doing us a favor my not seeing us if they are like that. I have low patients for providers who seem to have an attitude problem. But I will also really go out of my way to be good to the ones that are nice and courteous.
It is quite possible that the only thing BPJ is out is an experience well below his expectations
Before she commits to an actual date and if she'll actually come to LA. She put your request on the back burner, although I don't think she forgot about you. But you did kinda shoot your load early on this.....I would have waited a week out to see if she'll actually come.
And big papa mentioned something about you being a time waster, I can see it but I'm not totally sold on it.
point taken, it never occurred to me that she might just be feeling out demand for her in la before she actually commits to coming out.
i'm coming down on the side of blowing her off. there's plenty of great home grown talent here in los angeles to play with. and for what she was asking i could see all 3 of my atfs for a session each, which is what i think i will do instead
Obviously don't divulge identity. But what is it about her that has you twisted up. I get the same way about certain providers (from website or ad alone) and sometimes I have to step back and figure out what about this woman is driving me nuts.
Do tell...
Of course the lack of response, whether intentional or accidental, still reads as "hard to get" to our animal brain and triggers the prey drive baby... which just throws gas on the fire! I say stick it out bro!
i took some advice and sent a follow up email.
got an immediate response, all is good.
