I'm going to have to agree with everything Frommie said. The thing is the occasions when you have that mind blowing experience with a girl you'd never get in real life, that will keep you coming back even if you know you have to stop. Unfortunately, even when you do stop, once you're in between relationships, that temptation is too great.... why risk rejection, when there's some possibly hot girl that will do way more than a regular girl and be much more nasty. It does kind of take away from your future relationships...because instead of developing those traits to attract a better mate or make yourself a better guy....you really are just taking a short cut. Also, we delude ourselves into thinking the provider really likes us in that one to four hours, but really it's just business. It's like trying to quit heroin. Though, I must admit once cityvibe went to their new format, I haven't looked at the site or participated so that did slow me down. Just looked at the wall of thousand thumbnails and didn't feel like wading through them.
Help me out here fellas. Tell me I will eventually calm the F down with this shit. When you started, what was it like for you?
For me... Six months in and spending WAY too much time every day... thinking about / perusing / putting lines in the water / booking! ... indulging! I'm going to get a second (or third!) job just to cover it all.
46 and up until now I've had no problem navigating addictive things. I drink. I've tried some drugs. No issues. But THIS... W...T...F!!! I write for a living. I have projects due, like right now. Yet here I am, making lists, checking out sites, reading reviews... chasing... the... dragon.
The fact is that I've had some average experiences, one sketchy, mostly really good, and a couple off the fucking charts... and after a decade long marital sex abyss, this shit is like heroin (I imagine).
Any of this sound familiar (when you first started)... I'm trying everything. High end. Kgirl. Hx. Haven't done BP but have come really close, knowing I'm an idiot for even buying in to any of it. Is it the risk taking? The chance at finding that 20 year old that is brand new and will be a 1K/hr in six months. I mean... I KNOW I can repeat with a couple of absolutely AMAZING women. 10's! Guaranteed bliss. Yet... here I am trolling the SoCal high seas of amazing ass!
ADVICE. NOW. PLEASE. I need to get my shit together, find some balance, and budget this out.
Sorry for the rambling mess of a post... I LOVE IT. I HATE IT. FUCK!
. . . what most of us went through when we first discovered THE HOBBY. For many, like me, the intention was that this would be a short term situation, in my case to tide me over after the death of my wife until I felt like I wanted to be in a relationship again. It turned out to be a much better lifestyle for me than relationships with civvie girls. Everything I do is on my own schedule, which is the biggest attraction for me, and it is relatively drama-free compared to dating civvies.
The dark side is that you can spend yourself into a black hole very quickly. I joke in PM's with some of the other members here about which one of us will go broke first. Decide how much you can spend each month, and then stick to it. My last hobby was flying airplanes, so the discipline I developed against overspending in that hobby has served me well in this hobby.
If you set some ground rules for yourself as far as how much time and money you can allocate to your hobby, there is no reason why your professional career needs to suffer, or that you wind up in the poor house. You just need to find a schedule that works for you and try to stick with it. Resist the temptation to see every new girl that pops into town. There are so many, you will never see them all. I have missed many good ones myself. Too many girls, not enough time.
As far as community participation here, it's best to do that at night, along with your research on girls you want to see, and review writing. I log in for ten minutes at my office a couple times a day during breaks just to see what's up, but I learned that writing or reading reviews at the office was detrimental to the quality of my work.
Hope this helps a little.
Helps a ton! I knew you'd throw solid advice. Most of it is common sense stuff that I know, of course! But this hobby really is like a drug in many ways, and so the common sense element gets tossed out the window. Just got to survive this initial flurry, get my footing, and start making big head decisions again! LOL. Thanks man
I would advise you to get the hell out.
I don't know your situation, but think of the damage it can cause to relationships you have. Personal and business relationships. The risks for getting busted, or catching something, is always, always there. In the long run -- what did you gain? You got to fuck a lot of pussy. So what? Does that make your problems go away? In fact you are creating more problems. Instead of working on your craft and your livelihood, you are spending HOURS looking at ads, pics, trying to find the next best thing. You're behind on your work, yet you need more work to maintain this drug.
What are you spending? $500 a month? That's a fucking car payment. A grand? Two grand? So, you got a 401K? How much are you putting into your retirement? Nothing? So you're paying a girl $250 for ONE HOUR, and you're not paying into your retirement? What are you going to retire on? The financial black hole that mongering creates will ruin you.
Take it from me, who's burned money like it's paper, been in hairy situations, to get out before you really get yourself in some trouble. But you probably won't. I've heard this type of advice myself, and here I am
Thanks for the cold sober, honest response. It's funny because I was actually kind of laughing when I wrote the post. I just had this moment of perspective and had to kind of ridicule, and laugh at myself publicly via the post. And I was surprised at first that it was getting a bunch of reads with no responses. But then realized (and now confirmed by the only two responses so far) that this post pulls at a thread that most of us don't want pulled -- kind of the dark side of the hobby. I'll either get my shit together and be able to handle hobbying in a way that makes some sort of sense. Or get out. Thanks again for the honest response. I definitely understand that I am teetering on a precipice of sorts.
Now... I have to get back to investigating the pics of the latest TGTBT coed super model with no reviews... There's gold in those hills I tell ya!
funny. do you guys really go thru this when you first begin?
nearly $25,000 the first two months. Once I got over the depression of experiencing that, I got organized and got my shit together. Its all about self-discipline, and winning the battle of the big head over the little head, and finding balance between moderation and excess
Froomie makes a strong point about not having anything to show for it at the end of the day, . . . .
except for memories of off-the-charts, red-hot sex with much younger women like you didn't even know existed when you were younger. But I ask you, WHO really needs that? If you didn't raise your hand, then you should take Froomie's advice and get out while you can.
-- Modified on 2/8/2016 4:31:10 PM
we go thru it every time we see an ad for a hot girl we haven't visited yet...
The thing is. after about $100K and many years later, you get a little more selective (for the most part). For me, the game has changed a lot. I'm more into developing what I loosely coin as "relationships" with a handful of gals. Sure, I sample the new kbabe on the block once in a while, but for the most part, I tend to find a few girls that I like and get more intimate with them. For example, rather than spending an hour with a girl, last week I spent an entire evening -- dinner, hanging out, watching porn, fucking, spending the night, fucking in the morning, and going out for breakfast -- with a FBSM gal I've known for a couple of years. All for the price of a massage and paying for the meals; because we're friends now. However this type of situation is very hard to develop, there's a lot of time (and money) invested into that relationship and building a trust that is beyond the monger/provider exchange.
When you first get into it you're like a bull in a china shop or a kid in a candy store. Hopefully you'll sober up enough to put some brakes on the addiction. You will find yourself being consumed all the time by the hobby if you're not careful. I have certainly gone through those periods and have taken the hit financially and in my real world relationships
reviews, you have been doing this about twice as long as me, but the evolution you have gone through in how you approach the hobby seems similar to my own. I find it is easier to navigate the "relationships" with long-term friends if I continue to see one new girl each week for an hour. It keeps the rest of it, a lot of which has evolved into relationships/friendships as you describe, with a lot of off-the-clock time, in a better perspective, so I don't do anything too crazy, like asking someone to marry me. You are absolutely right that the long-term "friendships" require a huge investment of time and money.
Froomie, $100k? C-d-L, $25k in TWO MONTHS? Jesus!!! You guys are ballers! As near as I can tell I've dropped only around $27k in the eight plus years since I discovered burners and dove into the deep end of the K-girl pool.
You guys are the hobbying equivalent of the George Clooney character with his 10 million frequent flyer miles in the movie "Up in the Air."
A tip of my chapeau to you prolific mongers..
help big peter johnson afford the elite providers! our goal is $10,000 in two days!
a patch over one eye, tie up one leg so it looks missing, and maybe people will feel sorry enough for you to donate. Otherwise, I don't see a lot of people paying for pussy for someone else.
lol i didn't say i thought it would work...
The best day in my life was when I was about five years old and I realized they would never stop making chocolate chip cookies. The relief was amazing and I was able to calm the fuck down and proceed with my life. Now fifty years later I still see chocolate chip cookies everywhere. Don't panic, slow down and remember... it's the "oldest bakery" in the world
I'm going to have to agree with everything Frommie said. The thing is the occasions when you have that mind blowing experience with a girl you'd never get in real life, that will keep you coming back even if you know you have to stop. Unfortunately, even when you do stop, once you're in between relationships, that temptation is too great.... why risk rejection, when there's some possibly hot girl that will do way more than a regular girl and be much more nasty. It does kind of take away from your future relationships...because instead of developing those traits to attract a better mate or make yourself a better guy....you really are just taking a short cut. Also, we delude ourselves into thinking the provider really likes us in that one to four hours, but really it's just business. It's like trying to quit heroin. Though, I must admit once cityvibe went to their new format, I haven't looked at the site or participated so that did slow me down. Just looked at the wall of thousand thumbnails and didn't feel like wading through them.
I'm getting my sexual needs taken care of without having to spend a whole night taking a civvie girl to dinner, listening to her lame stories, and then wondering if I'm going to close the deal or not. Then there is the constant texting, calling and wanting t know what I am doing and where I am. If I want sex at ten in the morning, or right after work, I get it on my own schedule.
I realize I'm probably ruining myself for future civvie relationships, because I have seen myself become less tolerant of the time-suck with civvie women who are interested in dating me. Once or twice a month, if I feel like going out on a date on the outside, I have cultivated some relationships/friendships, as Froomie describes earlier in the thread, with some of my Kgirl providers that will go out periodically on their day off. That's really all I need to feel a little bit "normal." Getting sex when I want it is the main thing, and worth every penny . . . . . providing I stay on my budget. Lol
Godfather III, Michael Corleone: "Every time I try to get out . . . . . ."
When I was growing up I was so shy around girls. Did mess around with one girl a little in high school. Didn't have any real action until my mid 20's. Now OMG, those shy days are long, long, gone. Whatever type of lady I want when I want it. Want a threesome, no problem. Want GFE, no problem. Want PSE, no problem. Want asian, no problem. Want white, no problem. Want black, no problem. Want latino, no problem. Want middle eastern, no problem. Want tall, no problem. Want short, no problem. I have definitely made up for being deprived when younger!
Yes, you can definitely spent as much on a date as you do on a session yet not close the deal. Been there, done that. Though when you do close the deal it's good because of the anticipatory excitement building up do it.
When I first got married I figured I would never do something like this. No way. But the marriage started going bad. In fact, many people, including myself, suspect she is gay, in denial, and just wanted kids. When my opinion started to change was when she started the little game of withholding sex to get her way. Not the smartest game to play with a man. So I start thinking if she is going to play that game, maybe I will play a different game.
I must admit, the first few times I saw en escort I felt so guilty I though my head was going to explode. I eventually got over that and figured why should I deprive myself just because she wants to be a moody bitch and play games. Finally got divorced, which in looking back I am so thankful of, because my ex's mental state seems to get worse ever year. Antidepressants, mood stabilizers, antianxiety medication, she is on it all; not that it does much good, she is very unstable even with all that.
For me I'm as happy as ever. Though I do need to manage my hobby playing. I tend to play more in the fall and part of the winter simply because it is easier to work in my schedule that way. Maybe once or even twice a week that time of year. Other times of the year I may drop to once or twice a month. Just kind of depends on what is going on. During the other times of the year, if I'm getting horny, I know some really good massage ladies that do an excellent deep tissue massage with a happy ending. Not quite as much fun as an escort, but it cost a lot less. Also, I do love getting deep tissue massage even without a happy ending.
Pace yourself, if you can't learn to control your spending and manage your hobby playing then you probably should get out. Or if you feel you need a fix, try finding some good massage ladies that toss in a happy ending and see if that works for you. It's actually a great way to end a work day and is much easier on the budget.
Just out of curiosity, are you a screenwriter...and make your living writing movies? If so, that's a pretty good line of work...
TV is a steady gig if you're on a show. Writing movies is more competitive. There might be 10+ writers on a TV show. Movies are usually just one or two (you'll have uncredited rewrites but the real money is when you have your name on the film). And selling an original (or getting hired to write a film) is really, really hard. Throw a rock and you'll hit someone with a screenplay they're peddling, or you'll hit an A-list writer that's out of work and willing to drop his/her quote to snag your job. So figure I have to sell or get paid to write at least one movie a year on average. So far so good, BUT the paychecks come every few months in lump sums. So you need to be very disciplined and maintain a budget vs... Woooo, I just got a check for 80K! And go nuts. There's a good chance that will have to last 6 months or more. I've gone over a year twice in the last decade making goose eggs. But I've also had a few great years. But average it out and it's really just a pretty decent paying job, only there is ZERO security and it's one of the most competitive, fickle lines of work there is.
It's very risky, exciting, you get to step into different worlds creatively, you don't ever really know what's around the next corner, but you know there's a home run out there just waiting to be hit... sound familiar?
I think with the hobby you have some excellent motivation to keep on keeping on! Ha!
How do you break into TV? I always assumed tv was really hard to break in because it's about relationships....and that at least with film, they'd look at newbie specs.... Just out of curiosity, what do you think the average screenwriter makes per year? Don't you have to go through 6 month rounds auditioning for an assignment?
I agree on the home run thing as why it's hard to get out. Around that corner might be that unbelievable experience of a girl you'd never get. And let's face it as guys we don't want to miss on any hot girl, even if we've already seen many. Though, I think if you hit it big, you'd probably be too busy with the choice of women that you wouldn't even have time to hobby.
It's all extremely hard to break into at the start. But even when you're a pro it's hard to make lateral moves. TV writers complain about how hard it is to break into features and vice versa. If you are successful in one then you have opportunities in the other, but it's still hard. Once my feature resume hit a certain level I was able to get in the right rooms on the TV side to pitch original shows. Haven't sold one yet (0 for 2) but came really close both times. I'm not interested, at this point, just writing for a show. It's a shit ton of work and I can make the same or more as is. I think it's easier for TV writers to move to features assuming they have the time to crank out a spec. But still hard.
That all sounds very interesting. You're very lucky. Most people hate their jobs. I would imagine tv is very high pressure because you have to write faster and also stand out in the writer's room to justify being part of the team.
This is nothing new I have seen it before..
Pussy addiction
boys starts out by sampling all the candies in the store!!
Looking for the best tasting one.
Then they eventually get "belly ache" ... and then They stop for while..
They may return .. Wiser ..Or looking for more a personal encounter ...
Some hobbie because they love sex and do not want be in relationship
However ..
Make sure that you do not lose
your capacity to HUNT!!
Pay for lay can be easy, practical , funny and fun.
... But not ALAWYS full felling
CC
-- Modified on 2/9/2016 7:27:37 PM
Or, they may just decide that cannoli is better than candy.
It's the domesticated, watered down, electronic version of that primal hunt to spread the seed. In fact I'm less worried about the money I'm spending than about the time I'm spending just window shopping... hunting! And since time is money, I guess it is about money...
I don't see any belly ache coming any time soon. I have decided, however, that quality over quantity is the correct tack. So I'm booking with someone I've had my eye on since the beginning, and trying to CHILL THE F OUT in the mean time 
Thanks for the astute response!
where the deer runs up to you, takes your gun, shoots itself, and falls into the back of your pickup, so all you have to do is take it home and eat it. That's why I love this hobby!!!
And the deer is a 10 point trophy!
BLAAAA YOU!! sexy dbl-take
Sometimes you hunt the deer
But one day the deer hunt YOU!!
Stai benne!!
The conclusion... you are good hunter!!
Sorry could resist that
Lol
Baci per te
Cc
-- Modified on 2/11/2016 2:01:57 AM
Since the last "golden deer" moment.
-- Modified on 2/11/2016 2:49:43 PM
i was worse then you. i used to bang 5 girls back to back in the beginning. 5th girl it wasn't fun at all dick actually got raw and sore and felt like it blistered. hurt to have sex. but was so addicted i rested like 1 day1 and went back at it. kept repeating and after burning through 30k in about 12 months. and banging like 150 girls. i actually got tired. face became a blur and having relationship with them you sort of wake up and take off that makeup and acting and you realize they are like any other girl whine and bitch about having sex if tired or if you didn't pick up dinner. lol. you just lose that fantasy and excitment.
so hang in there. it will fade. yeah you will be broke but at least you can say you banged over 150 pussys! how many lucky guys can claim that!? hah