I could see where it might have the opposite effect. I didn't do well with ladies in my late teens early twenties and can quite frankly see myself discovering the hobby then and then never getting into a serious LTR ever again. I think if you are fairly self sufficient and can keep yourself engaged / active / preoccupied all alone, and are not sure a LTR is for you, starting this up at the age of 19 and never doing anything else, especially if I could afford it then.
-- Modified on 12/13/2007 4:53:34 PM
Hello everyone. I've been lurking in the forums and reading around for a couple of days now and I finally want to be a hobbyist. Anyways on to the questions.
Do the providers only provide to older men? I am 18 years old and I am really interested in being a hobbyist. I hope this does not get in the way because I am an adult of legal age.
I've seen a couple of providers that I am interested in. But I am worried about the screening process. I am not currently employed, so I do not have any proof for that field if I was asked by a provider. I am currently in college, so I guess I could use that as part of the screening process.
On a providers site I see this disclaimer:
Money exchanged is intended for companionship and modeling services only. Anything else that may or may not occur is a matter of personal choice
between two consenting adults of legal age and is not contracted for, nor is it requested to be contracted for, in any manner. This is not an
offer of prostitution. Calling me constitutes acceptance of these terms.
Does this mean that if the provider is not interested in you that she will not give you the FS GFE that the person is looking for?
EDIT: I've read a bit more about the screening process and a lot of post's say you have to be mature. I would see myself mature compared to my peers. So I would not see this as a problem, unless I reveal my age and scare the provider off because she thinks I am young and not serious about it.
That is all for now,thank you.
-- Modified on 12/13/2007 2:50:24 AM
You are only 18 years old. Hobbying at your age will mess up your ability to relate to ladies, especially if you are looking for GFE. You are still developing social skills. That is where you need to focus your time and efforts. Even bagging a few civies will not be the best thing you can do, but it beats the fantasy world of hobbying.
Some ladies only see older guys (25+ or even older) because of the maturity issue. Not necessarily what I'm talking about, but more what the guy is looking for. I have a conceptual idea about what that means, but I can't explain it to you.
Regarding the disclaimer: It is fluff. However, all ladies reserve the right to do only what they want to do. If she is not comfortable with you, the more reputable ladies will give you for $ back and ask you to leave. Everyone knows what the expectations are.
If you do insist on hobbying, go for the short appointments for "relief". You will get your rocks off, and hopefully it won't scar you too much.
Thank you tokai, that was really helpful.
The thing is I haven't been in a relationship with a girl yet. I haven't felt the "touch" of a lady. So I am thinking this will give me that temporary "relief" that I need. It might also make me more confident and give me more self awareness. I might also learn some things from the provider and I think after this experience that I will know more about women, thus it will help me instead of scarring me.
Way's it could possibly help me is, sometimes I get nervous talking to girls who are attractive. So the experience can possibly change this.
What do you guys think about this?
Thank You.
The reason is simple: money.
As long as you have the money, you are guaranteed an initial meeting with a provider. Afterwards, as long as she can see that you are timely, courteous, clean and seemingly disease-free, you will be spending some time with her. Unless you are overbearingly obnoxious, she will be friendly to you and even politely deal with some of your quirks.
Civvie life, as you already know, is unpredictable and messy. There's no way to know how to deal with women in civvie situations except to do it. Seeing a provider will certainly teach you the mechanics of sex, and some might even provide advice on how to interact with women, but...
Just remember that providers are paid to be with men they would not otherwise see in civvie life. They're advice might sound good in the abstract, but off the clock, they have the same prejudices as any other women. The advice they give you would probably never work on them, so the likelihood of it working for any other woman is questionable.
What your are going through is normal. You can't use escorts to take a short-cut in the process of learning to deal with relationships. The energy you put into finding and being with an escort would be much better used in trying to meet a real girl and get use to the rejection process. That you can't learn from an escort (I suppose you can pay her to do anything, but I why pay for something you can get for free?).
Confidence comes with experience. Get some real experience.
If you insist that you need help, then spend your $ with a female psychologist or social worker. It will be a little cheaper, and much safer on your long-term psychological development.
Do you really want the memory of your first kiss to be with a paid escort, or with someone who really wanted to kiss you back? The thrill of the first time only happens once. Use it wisely.
Also, when you do touch a girl friend, she is likely to be as awkward with it as you. Think about how you will come across if you have all this "confidence"? It actually might be intimidating to her. Mutual awkwardness can actually be a blessing in your case.
Now if you were 30 years old, my advice would be different. But you are only 18, and have a lot you need to learn from the school of life first.
18 is too young to be hobbying. Stay away until you're at least 25.
I agree with the above poster, and add my voice to his.
At your age, it's very easy to fall into a different set of habits based off of a fantasy, and it will not be the real thing.
My best suggestion is to get into a "friends with benefits" relationship. I did so early on, and the casualness of such a relationship (no strings, good fun, and no expectations) really helped me develop a healthy respect and love of women.
Granted I'm breaking into being a hobbyist at 34, and for my own reasons. But the basic premise made above is easy to understand after you've lived for a bit.
Again, if you must, for whatever reason, I would suggest a short session. I will say that whatever personal shortcomings you think require being a hobbyist to get what you desire are most likely incorrect - trust me, I went through it too, at that age - and you will find someone who will enjoy your company without the fantasy.
Sorry if all this advice seems confusing Dropglock, but you remind me of a young me.
I'm well into my fifties now and have been hobbying fairly regularly since my early twenties, through twenty years of marriage too which ended (because of hobbying) a few years ago, and if there's one thing I would change, it would have been to have started earlier.
I was as shy and horny as they come, but I could not score a date. Being with providers helped me to gain confidence (I needed a few years of therapy too, but that's neither here nor there.)
I just wanted you to get a different angle on this.
What I suggest first is that you go up to the Self help manual above and read it twice from front to back.
Next, get VIP membership and research the heck out of providers in your area, select those who you think might be best, and then write to them describing your total situation (Grammar and spelling do count, by the way.) It might take a while but eventually you'll find a gal who will be impressed with you and will take a chance.
Lord knows, I am.
Check back with us and let us know how it's coming along.
You might also want to ask questions to The Love Goddess on the Erotic Highway Board just below.
She is uber-smart.
Used to be a "rite of passage" for a young man. Why should seeing an escort be any different? My first play for pay was at the ripe old age of fifteen.
I agree with MrFisher, a little experience can do wonders for the confidence level of a young man.
No wonder we see eye to eye so often!
I could see where it might have the opposite effect. I didn't do well with ladies in my late teens early twenties and can quite frankly see myself discovering the hobby then and then never getting into a serious LTR ever again. I think if you are fairly self sufficient and can keep yourself engaged / active / preoccupied all alone, and are not sure a LTR is for you, starting this up at the age of 19 and never doing anything else, especially if I could afford it then.
-- Modified on 12/13/2007 4:53:34 PM
I guess that finances are a point in my post above as well.
Most commonly, at 18, you don't have the funds to regularly visit a provider. At that point, you're generally earning minimum wage or just above. There are rare exceptions, but your financial wisdom is pretty low at that age, and you should be building toward life in the 25 or so bracket, or building up for clothes/car/etc. to "impress the chicks" (i.e. get a relationship through apparent affluence with material wealth).
Hobbying is not inexpensive. If you drain your coffers early on, and make the decision to do this regularly, you'llend up in a bad situation later.
On the other hand,when I was young, there was plenty of things I just wasted money on. Perhaps it *would* be better spent on some of the ladies out there.
As to what age of provider to get for such a foray, I'd most certainly say get someone who a) is attractive to you and then b) experience is a good thing early on.
I think back and wonder if my first relationship had been taught by an older (read: 23-30) woman, how much more I would know about women and what they want.
I also think older women really enjoy teaching the new guy. I've talked to several in my age bracket and they have all voiced fantasies on teaching a young guy the ropes.
I tend to think its better for an 18 year old to pursue the dating world and get laid on his own and get that knowledge about how relationships work rather than try to bring the fantasy of being with a provider to a college experience where it will just be a letdown when the girls arent as hot as the providers. The only exception would be if by age 21 its a struggle then clearing the decks with a provider will at least ease the frustration for a few months.
I say wait at least until you're 21 (and I'm in my mid 20's). Very few, and I mean very few, providers will be willing to see an 18-year-old client. Call it prejudice, call it whatever you want, but that's the harsh reality. Try civvie options for a few years. It can be student organizations, frat parties, spring break trips, dating sites, girls in your classes, through friends, etc. If your response to this is "but I don't have the pick-up skills", then simply wait a few years, just as you're waiting to be old enough to drink.
Without employment, it is impossible to screen you, so that's an automatic roadblock. Also, most mainstream verification services (Preferred411, ,RoomService2000, and DateCheck) have no way of verifying college students in the first place. At the minimum, you need to have a part-time job with access to a landline phone.
At age 18, some people might not have had enough psychological development to be able to control their emotions, which is very important in the hobby. Providers are concerned about situations where a clients falls in love with them. And statistically, that happens more often with young clients. So while it sucks that you're getting shortchanged, no one can blame providers for being concerned.
If your still desperate, save up some money and take a trip to a legal brothel in Nevada (during spring break, perhaps). The girls there won't have the best attitudes, and the service might be mechanical. But if your sole concern is a release, then this option might work for you. Just don't turn to the streets out of sheer frustration; that's never a good idea.
-- Modified on 12/13/2007 12:13:16 PM
-- Modified on 12/13/2007 12:25:13 PM
Thank you for all the replies. They were all very helpful. I am going to have to think twice about this now.
... Just a guess, but you might be better off seeing a lady close to your age. Find an escort in the 18-20 year old range.
Question: Is it better to become enamored with older woman, or get the wrong idea about girls that you would date?
Maybe you should post on "The Erotic Highway" board and get LG's opinion.
I started hobbying when I was in college just like you. Best thing I ever did.
If you look hard enough, you will find a great provider who is willing to see you as long as you have the cash.
Screening should be easy - explain to them your situation and ask them to look you up on the student directory on your college website. They can send a generic email to your personal email address provided by your school to confirm it is you and you can reply back.
Remember that all appointment info etc should be done using an anonymous address since all schools usually monitor a school email address.
Enjoy and just don't get caught.
Get caught? For what? We are just spending time together and I am just giving a donation for her time, correct =]?
Yes, you *are* just paying for her time. But power-crazy cops believe otherwise, and there's no way of convincing them, which is why don't want to get caught.
Send me a check and I'll head right over!
I was the same as you at 18, but I got turned on by stip clubs. Learned a lot over the years and spent a ton of money. I often think that visiting a provider would have been cheaper, but in hindsight, probably not. Now that I am older (and wiser??), if I could go back in time, I would have taken all of that money and invested it. By the time I hit 30, I could have afforded the providers I really wanted to see, the ones I fantasized about.
Here's my advise: take whatever money you have set aside for your hobbying budget, go to the bank and open up an investment account. If you have not already done so, sign up for an economics course. Set a goal to reward yourself with a fantasy experience when you graduate.
Join a few social organizations at your school. You'll be surprised how easy it really is to meet women. Here's a tip: if you have the balls to get your ass out on the dance floor, it doesn't matter how good you dance, you will get laid. I begged my older cousin to teach me how to dance when I was 21, I still suck at it, but I don't sleep alone very often.
FYI, this is not the way it's supposed to be. Paying someone to do it with you IS paying someone to do it with you. And that should not be your first choice, especially at 18 years of age.
You are probably not looking for what you think you are looking for. You need to go through the good and bad of doing it the hard way.