Hello and welcome! As a provider, I expect my new friend to let me know what makes him happy when it comes to sexual activity. These are pointers you give the girl on a first 'date' that you would not discuss on the average date. Any provider worth anything wants to make you happy and she surely cannot do that without knowing what you enjoy. I wish I could read minds. Personally, I love it when guys talk dirty to me. I think that once you meet this lady you will get a feel of what she is comfortable with. And there is probably nothing you could talk about or suggest that she has not done or heard before.
When I meet a new friend for the first time I appreciate it if he treats me like a lady initially and that he makes me feel safe. Then, I am at ease and can concentrate on HIS enjoyment.
As far as your reference situation goes--well, we all have to start somewhere. It sounds to me like you've done everything in your power to make her feel comfortable.
So, get out there and have some fun!
I suppose I should prefix this with the statement that I feel pretty skittish about getting started as a hobbyist.
I have a few questions for providers, especially about the whole GFE aspect, and what a provider would feel safe on regarding references.
I located a provider I personally think is perfect, has nearly 100% perfect reviews on TER and so forth (lucky for me I stumbled on to these boards - CL would probably have scared me off of this idea for good had I not checked reviews). In fact, I feel very much as if I'm a teenager again on a first date with a head cheerleader (as she is very attractive).
First, I am pretty well-mannered - I was raised in Europe and my stepfather was "old guard" European and pretty well off. However, I'm not sure if the escort aspect, or it being a livelihood, changes the dynamic at all. My personal thought on the matter is that, while I am paying for companionship, I'm *not* expecting anything further if she's not comfortable with it. I'm basically trying to say I *know* the basic points of rudeness for everyday interaction, but I don't know if there are unwritten rules or whatnot for hobbyist/provider interaction.
Are there any things I should know as far as "getting the ball rolling", anything that's considered a faux paus or anything I should be doing which I would not do during an "ordinary date" or normal female-male interaction?
Second, what would you (from the provider standpoint) look for in a person who understands things and what would make you a bit more at ease?
Finally, there comes the sticky point of references. I'm just breaking in to this, so I've done everything I can think of to make sure she's comfortable with me - up to and including giving her my company website (where I have an entry), e-mail, phone number and whatnot.
Anyhow, I'm probably worried over nothing, and I'm sure that this is answered in about 50 posts - but I wanted the provider's take on this as well, as I've been sort of trained into providing (to a large degree) what the other person wants, or what will make them feel comfortable.
First of all, when contacting her, do not mention specific acts on the phone or in e-mail. All the relevant info is on her website. Anything else you might want to know in detail should be in her reviews.
Secondly, be on time. If you are 15 minutes early, do not expect her to accommodate you. If you know you are going to be late, call with enough notice. Do not expect her to be able to re-schedule you for the same day as she might have other appointments.
Third, hygiene. It should be obvious but enough providers complain about it to prove that it isn't. Shower and brush your teeth if possible before you get there. If she "suggests" a shower, don't take it personally and do it if only to make her more relaxed for the session.
Fourth, if you are not sure what her boundaries are, ask. I've never heard a provider complain yet because a guy asked her what she was into.
Fifth, you seem to have the courtesy and consideration issues well in hand.
Sixth, relax and have a great time.
Let us know how it goes.
Hello and welcome! As a provider, I expect my new friend to let me know what makes him happy when it comes to sexual activity. These are pointers you give the girl on a first 'date' that you would not discuss on the average date. Any provider worth anything wants to make you happy and she surely cannot do that without knowing what you enjoy. I wish I could read minds. Personally, I love it when guys talk dirty to me. I think that once you meet this lady you will get a feel of what she is comfortable with. And there is probably nothing you could talk about or suggest that she has not done or heard before.
When I meet a new friend for the first time I appreciate it if he treats me like a lady initially and that he makes me feel safe. Then, I am at ease and can concentrate on HIS enjoyment.
As far as your reference situation goes--well, we all have to start somewhere. It sounds to me like you've done everything in your power to make her feel comfortable.
So, get out there and have some fun!
Thanks for the feedback. i sometimes don't give good directions, so I'll work out a bit of a patter on this so that I am a bit more "user-friendly".
I totally see that point of initially creating a safe environment - and can see that enough people view providers as breathing sex-toys that it creates a problem. I personally can't wrap my wits around that, but I guess it might have to do with upbringing.
Also, yes, the reference worked really well - apparently she was really happy with the professional website.
A question...if your client was to say out loud " I enjoy a BBBJ, is that something you do?" and you answered " Sure thing honey", don't you feel that this line of Q&A could be dangerous? To my way of thinking, you have just admitted that you will perform said act for the donation he has left on the table.
And yes I realize ladies do screen but the cops are getting more savvy and can pass in some cases. Their last line of attack is to get something on tape...and these days the "wire" is not always attached to their body so they could actually be naked when they ask the question.
This is not a critism, but an honest question. Your views?
No one's answered this, but having finished my first encounter, I think I'll answer it here.
Yes, this would be pretty dangerous - depending upon the situation. If you are in the middle of a session, it is probably all right to ask such a question (granted it's when there's some action going on already).
Again, Leo has done some wierd stuff (even completion before nabbing one party or the other), but I think if you're being... intimate... this might be a good time to ask.
As far as the rest of the advice, thank you for the information. The session was wonderful, and I hope to see the lady again.