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Newbie - FAQ

Tough job having to find "fresh references"
tokai 1580 reads
posted

Dittos on what Imallin said. Try giving her the one "good" reference and see what happens. If you are active on the boards, that helps too.

I have lifetime memberships with 2 verification services. Seems like I have an easier time with the ladies that verify more closely because they can find me all over the place (references, multiple boards, posted reviews, verification services, etc.). A lot of little positives is more comforting than having to put all your trust on one source. One lady even admitted to doing a search on the originating IP address from an e-mail I sent.

Johnny Apple-seed2416 reads

I'm not really a newbie....actually kind of a seasoned veteran...but I still don't know why a lot of providers are now requiring two provider references.  Shouldn't one good one be sufficient?  This actually makes me have to spend a lot more money than her donation....because I have to find fresh references.  A lot of girls you've seen might have been several months ago...so they have a vague memory of you...or you might only see one girl on a regular basis but not two...so you'd have to go out and see one or two more girls just to get their reference.

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IMALLIN1970 reads

It just improves their odds of getting a prompt response to their reference checks. As long as they get a positive response from one of them, I think most providers are fine with that. If you only give one and she can't get a hold of her, you're sort of screwed.

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tokai1581 reads

Dittos on what Imallin said. Try giving her the one "good" reference and see what happens. If you are active on the boards, that helps too.

I have lifetime memberships with 2 verification services. Seems like I have an easier time with the ladies that verify more closely because they can find me all over the place (references, multiple boards, posted reviews, verification services, etc.). A lot of little positives is more comforting than having to put all your trust on one source. One lady even admitted to doing a search on the originating IP address from an e-mail I sent.

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DFWSophie1303 reads

Because one person can be one way with one person, and totally oppposite with another.

Believe me...Ive heard stories of Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde from some providers regarding a hobbyist. Some people just dont mesh together...allways good to have something else to compare.

Plus it gives the provider a sense of security that this guy actually saw those girls and isnt trying to catch a newbie off guard and take his word for it..those are the ones that usually wont give the provider references for the girls that the appointment didnt go so well....lol

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myasymone1078 reads

I have heard this complaint before with some newbies and I am totally understanding. That being said.  Use every other avenue to gain this providers trust. Offer information that can be useful in lieu of another provider reference.ie work info, home phone info.  A lot of providers ask for references to make sure you are legit and not LE.  LE uses ladies that have been caught in stings to be references sometimes.

If you do only have one reference, make it a good one.  Working website, reviews, possible active board member and easily reached by phone or email.

Of course, like the other lady said there are many "Dr. Jekyll/ Hyde" personalities out there and we like to avoid them at all costs. :)

Happy Hunting!!

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transcend20071582 reads

I would rather a provider be overly security cautious as opposed to not enough.  It shows common sense and someone who is mindful of the seriousness of the consequences that are possible (ie LE, danger, or even injury).

If you request to use someone as a reference I find that they will likely have no problem remembering you several months from now or even much longer.  A nice tip may be in order as you will be asking a reference provider to spend her time confirming your time together in the future.

-- Modified on 12/10/2007 4:38:42 PM

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keystonekid1153 reads

Well said.  It is all about discretion.

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f8ted1152 reads

But do the ladies being called for the referral mind?

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balathazar1352 reads

It is always a very wise idea to ask a provider if you can use her as a reference first. Some do not give references and others are more than happy to do it. Just make sure she knows that you might use her as a reference.

b-

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DFWSophie1223 reads

If they are a reputible provider??  Hell no.  

If a provider gets upset because YOU want to see someone else...then that alone tells YOU you need to get as far away from that provider as possible.

This is not a dating site.  We are not married to these hobbyist.  we do not own these hobbyist.  These hobbyist do not own us.

This is a H O B B Y.  Treat it like one.

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