do u really think these ladies refer you to their "friends " out of the kindness of their heart?
When they say "do you want to meet my friend", it translates "meet my friend then I can get a cut from her". The more friends she refers, (ie "I have a lot of friends I think you would enjoy"", trust me she is thinking of the $$$$ she make off of her "friends". Those referrals dont come free.I really still don't understand ladies recommending their friends. When I first got into the game (I love sounding like a gangster), a lady recommended 4 of her friends to me. I was like...does this girl even like me, does she want me to return? I get it more now that I've been around awhile and a few girls have recommended friends, but it still puts me off. Sometimes it makes me think I did something inappropriate during the session. Maybe it's me but if I had a client, rather than trying to send him to another provider, I would try to get him to come back to me again. As far as I'm concerned, it's not about getting him to your door...many providers can do that....it's about getting him to return. Business 101 is it not? And last but not least I leave you with a gratuitous "Glengarry Glenross" quote. "You don't sell a guy one car. You sell him five cars over 15 years. "
all right, who can enlighten me?
Some people just have friends that they want to help out? Or, the girl wants you to meet her friend so that later on you may want to set up a doubles session? There are endless reasons why, but I don't think there is anything nefarious going on. It's not really your place to criticize how a lady conducts her business, anyway. If you don't want to see a gal based upon a recommendation, then don't.
So why doesn't the provider say that. "I have some friends I'm trying to help out and I don't want you take it the wrong way, but if you're interested, I think you might like so and so. I still want you to come back and see me if you can." Usually they just say "You should meet my friend so and so." What if I wanted the provider to wear a certain dress that I think looks better on her, and that dress just happens to be a more loose fitting one than the one she is wearing at the time of our session. So I say, " Why don't you wear that other dress, the blue dress, next time I come" Now maybe I like her in the blue dress more than in the current dress and that's just it. The provider may see it that way...or she may interpret it as this "You put on a few pounds and probably shouldn't wear this dress when I come." Now I have no control over that. My intention was just to get her in the other dress but she may not see it like that. I may have ruined the moment...or the whole session. The point is...i wouldn't do that. I wouldn't speak up. I realize it may be misinterpreted. and if I did speak up, I would certainly qualify it with something like this.."This dress looks absolutely amazing on you, but that other dress, the blue one, looks fantastic as well. Jesus, I can't decide which looks better. I just want to bend you over in both of them. Actually, I really like Blue though. will you wear that one next time I come?" that still may get misinterpreted but at least I tried to soften it.
This is nitpicky shit..I realize that, but I'm in a funk lately. If you see me on the street, walk to the other side.
Love you all,
FoD
If the lady still has the dress on and you're more than five minutes into the session, you've got bigger problems than whether or not she's recommending her friends.
I guess you are in a funk. Go get laid.
I see it as a compliment if she refers you to her friends. For one thing, screening will be simplified since she is referring you to her friends. That alone makes playing so much easier and more inclined to see new ladies.
You are right, in the business world, you will do whatever it takes to get your customer to return to you. But there are times when the one lady you want to see, can not see her for whatever reason. Because she values your business, she has offered the services for her friends in that case she can not provide.
Then there are some guys that never repeat with the same lady. So if you are a good guy and respectful, why not help her friends out and let them make money from a legitimate hobbyist even if he will never return.
And the last thing: Variety. Maybe your lady is a passionate GFE which you truly love but want to have a wild pse session with greek every so often. Well, her friend loves greek, so she is helping the both of you. There are no rules of monogamy in this and variety is the spice of life.
When you talk about why dont ladies do everything they can to get you to keep coming back. Too many times that crosses over to jealousy, which gets very ugly and destructive to the nature of this. If her referring you to her friends, just smile and say i will think about it or just say I rather just see you. Just be polite and see who you are interested in seeing.
... I have had a provider recommend multiple friends to me. In my case, this was when she could not see me due to scheduling problems. I took this as a huge compliment and it has helped me out a bunch. I have seen some of her friends that are UTR and amazing. Her word got me into this little group, when nothing else would have, since solid references were the only way in.
She has also given me intros in a completely different city, when she knows I am travelling there. I know her recommendations are golden now, so rather than deal with verification risk and hassle, I know I can see these friends and be assured of a great experience. I guess she took the risk that I would not see her as much, but I consider that enlightened self interest. She seems to have taken a special interest in my hobbying well-being. Maybe because she was the second provider I ever saw, and she knew that. Her methods have guaranteed me as a long term client.
To add spice to this whole situation, most of these friends are bi as is she, and her and I compare some notes on how hot they are when I see her. To have her tell me that she knew I would be a hit with them due to DATY technique is pretty damn awesome too. I feel really privileged to have her trust me this way, and our sessions get hotter and more passionate every time we meet now. All of this combined with how she now shares some stuff going on in private life just makes her all the more special to me. So YMMV re intros to friends, but I could not be more pleased with how it has worked out for me.
Thank you for the insightful post. Is there any chance you would share this goddess' name...maybe on a PM. I am intrigued.
best,
FoD
Sometimes I think most providers know most guys see a girl once, even if he had a great time. We are all looking to concur or find someone better. If so, why not it be one of her close friends.
I personally like it when a provider is willing to recommend one of her friends.
What a ridiculous thing to complain about. I couldn't read most of this. And you don't sound like a gangster at all. Keep posting, maybe we can be frenemies...
Before you judge, read this post from me...
and then go back to the forum and read all my other recent posts...
I have many more to come....
Lords of Lust, TER admin, Grace me with your mighty love!!!! and let me on the Reviewers only board
I don't read more than the first five words, then I talk. Like most people. I don't even remember what we were talking about. But for ten seconds the LA board is alive!
Anyway, a network of cool providers that party and help each other out sounds like fun, nerds. Fun, get it?
I'm not just judgmental, I'm sarcastic.
In truly American tradition, you talk without hearing the whole story. And I agree a network of cool providers that party sounds like fun. Until you find out they're getting kickbacks (see the post below). Nothing is what it seems, though even if they are getting kickbacks, it's still fun. But you are paying more because of that.
I do like sarcasm. Keep it coming
The reviewers boards is a big snooze. You'll be underwhelmed if and when you're approved. And a heads up, the RO boards leaks, you'll see more use of aliases on the RO board than most other boards
http://www.theeroticreview.com/discussion_boards/viewmsg.asp?MessageID=314075&boardID=1&page=1#314075
and then go back to the forum and read all my other recent posts...
I have many more to come....
Lords of Lust, TER admin, Grace me with your mighty love!!!! and let me on the Reviewers only board!
I've been trying to get on it for over a year. I realize it may have issues but I'm on a mission now. It feels close. Sorry about the frivolous posts. I actually do care about the answers which is why I post in the first place. Let me know if you have a question I can post on your behalf.
Just want to get to the board and find out for myself.
do u really think these ladies refer you to their "friends " out of the kindness of their heart?
When they say "do you want to meet my friend", it translates "meet my friend then I can get a cut from her".
The more friends she refers, (ie "I have a lot of friends I think you would enjoy"", trust me she is thinking of the $$$$ she make off of her "friends". Those referrals dont come free.
she is not an Indy and try to sell the agency/booker other girls.
it is just the 40 or 50% referral fee that the provider gets for referring her "friend"?. sorry to burst your bubble guys
I know of one particular provider who makes bank just on referrals alone, and no she is not a madam.
many ladies and they've intor'd me to their freinds and I have no problem with that.
So, if you have a friend that mongers and and speak highly about a specific girl would you recomend or introduce him
to her
What a wild thread. For me, I recommend clients sometimes to other providers just to be nice to ladies in the hobby, especially if they are fairly new or I am out of town. I enjoy helping other ladies out from time to time and I don't see that as a bad thing at all. Men love variety in the hobby anyways so I might as well recommend them to someone I know they'll like if they had a good time with me. This poster needs to stop overthinking things.
all right, who can enlighten me?
Business 101 does not apply to this field. I love when men try to tell women how to market themselves here. How's that going for you? lol Smile 4 me!
I always referred my gf because they are hot & I know the guy will have a blast, but most of all they appreciate me more & always return.
exactluy! Sharing is caring!
I always referred my gf because they are hot & I know the guy will have a blast, but most of all they appreciate me more & always return.
Interesting post. I can understand why you'd be confused about a provider recommending her friends. While ladies who recommend friends may do it for different reasons, I can assure you it's probably not something you should be offended by.
If you're a "good" client (pleasant, respectful, great hygiene, good company, etc), it's probably just that the provider wants to help her friends by introducing them to what she perceived as top-notch clientele. It could also be that she has some friend(s) who really need to start earning more money.
On the flip-side... I have a hunch that those increasingly common providers-pretending-to-be-independent-but-are-truly-part-of-some-awful-agency girls are encouraged to recommend one another. Just a hunch.
I personally have recommended 3 different girl friends in the past -- namely, friends who were visiting L.A. for work and who I wanted to help book some great clientele. I do recall that these clients I made the recommendation to were gentlemen who I was confident would continue being my regular clients.
xoxo
Lela
I was much more concerned about this when I started out. Not so much now, but just always wondered. Ladies, feel free to recommend whoever you would like. or is it whomever you would like. Ghostwriter of the Damned, how's your grammar?
For one thing, I travel extensively and may only be in your town once ever few months, for a few days at a time. So even if we are an excellent match and I'd love to see you over and over- chances are that the stars won't align for us as often as you'd like to see a provider. I get plenty of inquiries and don't feel scarcity around bookings in a way that makes me feel the need to "hoard" my clients. LOL.
My clients keep coming back to me because my service is fucking excellent & one-of-a-kind! I don't have any issue referring them to my friends at all. I feel that most of my clients are not going to patronize me exclusively anyway, I want them to have good experiences, and I can vouch for my girlfriends. I don't usually recommend someone unless I have a reason to think the client in question would actually really like her. As a professional "drama-free slut", I also think that being able to recommend other providers that would be an excellent match for my clients is a valuable part of my service. When the client has a great time with a provider I recommended, he will usually still come see me again. And if he turns out to like her so much that he sees her all the time and stops seeing me altogether... who cares!! I want my clients to do what makes them feel happy and fulfilled, not just see me as often as they can. I take a holistic approach to sexual education, and part of my manta is: "Explore!"
The simple truth is, because I'm excellent enough about what I do and feel no insecurities, I can freely send my favorite clients to my favorite girlfriends, or I can simply fail to return to a given city for 6-9 months, during which time my regulars will almost invariably see other providers. Either way, most of my clients will have experiences with other providers between meetings with me. The ones who are truly the best matches for me, with whom I have the best chemistry, will always keep coming back for more. I love it when a gentlemen returns from his experiences with other women craving the things about me that make me special. None of my girlfriends can give him quite what I can... but they're also very special and worth experiencing in their own ways!
As mentioned, variety is the spice of life. Maybe the providers you see just believe that deeply. I know I do. I think most of my clients would benefit from variety in their sex life, and will readily recommend other providers just because I simply think it is healthy for everyone to try new things between coming back for more of what you crave. 
It adds depth to your sex life and overall level of experience. IMO, it's almost always a good thing, unless you really don't want to sleep with multiple people... then I guess you shouldn't!
For me, jealousy and possessiveness are the ultimate turn-offs! I am non-monogamous in my personal sex life, and feel compersion for my lovers when they have great sex with other people. I feel pretty similarly when my clients and my girlfriend(s) have a great time together!!
Compersion - when you derive happiness from the happiness of your partners, especially related to their relationships or encounters with their other partners. Essentially the opposite of jealousy. Comes very naturally to me. And maybe if you understand that some of us are genuinely happy when our friends and lovers have a great time hooking up with each other - it won't seem to crazy that some ladies you see will recommend their friends to you if they think it's a good match.
I agree with this. Sell 15 cars rather than 1 is the better biz goal for sure.
However, guys that are new can make mistakes that they can't reverse when they see a new lady. Especially if their 1st choice was a lady who is good at this. At that point the man may not realize that there are shady parties out there. I assume that protection over possessiveness this is a ladies goal in this situation.
I totally get what you are saying and I go back and forth about the psychology of this as well...because of course I'd love if he sticks with me. So what I do is build a friendship that lets him know I'm not shoeing him away, but moreso letting him know that we can have a true "no strings attached" relationship.
Great topic.