Though one could also say it is more of a sugar baby/sugar daddy arrangement also. But I'm also her boyfriend, or the closest thing she has to a boyfriend as she has said many times. Neither one of us were actually looking for this, it just happened. I saw her as a provider three times when she was in my area and we hit it off really well. Then she told me the next time I visited her area I was welcome to stay at her place instead of a hotel. So I took her up on that and stayed with her for over three days. That was when our relationship started to shift from a provider/client arrangement to where it is now.
The next time she was in my area she told me she didn't want me giving her money anymore and that she would feel better about it that way. I do help her out financially when she is in a jam and go out of my way to look out for her best interest in general. Whenever she is upset about something and needs someone to talk to about something, I am often the first person she calls. We have become very, very, close and take trips together and see each other as often as possible.
It is a bit of an emotional minefield for me. For one thing, I'm married and have been trapped in a sexless marriage for may years. My wife is my best friend and someone I get along with very well. Overall she has been a good life partner. But I have no sex life with her, she simply is not interested. I can't live that way. It makes me feel bad about myself and very empty. Having my special lady friend fill this hole in my life has really reminded me of what I have been missing in my life for so many, many, years. It is far, far, more emotionally satisfying than just having sex with a provider.
Usually I have had no problem with having sex with providers for many, many, years without getting emotionally attached. This one though has become an issue for me because I have developed very strong feeling for her. She says she cares for me and really likes me, buy her feelings for me are not as strong as my feelings for her. One reason she gives is because I am not available though there could be other reasons obviously. So on the one hand, I'm glad she doesn't feel the same way because I'm not in a position to be totally available for her. It would be selfish and not looking out for her best interest for me to expect more from her. It does bug me when she goes on dates with other guys and sees clients. But she has to support herself so I understand and if she found some Mr. Right I would just have to be happy for her and accept it.
The relationship I have with her is so much more satisfying that seeing providers. I can't imagine going back to the way it was before. I have cut back on seeing providers quite a bit and do it more now so her seeing clients does not bug me so much.
I also can't imagine leaving my wife. It's not her fault she has lost all interest in sex and I can't imagine hurting my fest friend like that even if my lady friend did have the same feeling for me that I have for her.
If I continue my relationship with my special lady friend, at some point this is going to have some type of resolution. Changing to an open marriage might be the only option assuming the whole thing didn't blow up in my face. I don't like the level of deception that I have been using lately to swing trips with my special lady friend.
So dating within the hobby can work. It just comes down to finding the right person just like it would in any situation. My situation is very different because I was not looking for this and I'm not 100% available. But it does show what can happen if two people meet who seem to really hit it off better than usual and really enjoy each other's company
Similarly to hanky-panky, a few years back I have was in a situation with a provider. I can't even lie, it was awesome until I messed it up. Like most guys who hobby, I have a partner at home. Long story short, a provider came to my house one night for an outcall, and we hit it off. Mostly because of the sex. That was the last time we ever discussed money, we simply started doing things as a booty call, and then a lil more than a booty call. She knew my home situation, and to her credit, never really tried to mess with it. I however, have trust issues, so anything that seemed strange, I confronted her about it in an accusatory manner instead of simply talking to her. Even though we kinda overcame my limitations, it eventually wore thin on our situation. We are still friends, but we certainly don't hang out like we used to.
Another provider I used to see, same situation almost. Met once or twice, then no more money, just friends with benefits. I am pretty sure she caught some feelings as we carried on. Like an idiot however, I accidentally included her information, when I was providing references to another provider. As to be expected, she wasn't pleased after that reference call. We hung out once or twice after that, but it wasn't the same. Plus she insisted that we make it more business like again.
Hopefully it works for you Amber, because you look like an absolute catch 
