In the short time Ive been doing this, Ive only come across 1 creep. Otherwise I truly adore all the people I have met. It has been such an amazing experience. The men have been so gracious, clean & gentlemanly. I feel as though Im treated better then when I actually dated "regular" guys. Its such a win win for both sides. We both get exactly what we want with no drama attached!
I love my "job". XoXoHas anyone been struck by cupids arrow ?
About 10 years ago. She was impressive in every dimension. Tried to take it to another level and she very gently let me know that was not the right thing for her. Stopped seeing her a couple of months later. And yes i still kick myself about once a week. Fuck i can remember every detail including her voice and those deep dark eyes full of mystery and mischief.
Even in civilian life... You can meet someone that you can immediately fall for.. But obviously with this double/undercover life and school may not be the greatest idea..
and while i had six months of pure bliss, it all ended and i will treasure those six months
but it is what it is
my buddy met a girl on ter and divorce his wife and married her-they are very happy after 8 yrs ,only problem they both required that all friend on ter be abandon
i understand maybe having an attraction due to lust or the excitement of dating a provider.
but love? your "love" is kissing, tasting a guy's cum, and spreading her legs with thousands of guys. how do you have love with someone who does that for a living?
I haven't, but you can if you stop seeing those things as demeaning. The acts only carry all that emotional freight if you choose to view them that way. It's just a job, with good days and bad days like any other.
The things I care about when finding that someone is intelligence, personality, and to some extent their looks if I'm honest. If I were to find someone in the trade then I'd just remind myself that they may go out to play (just like I would) but they come home to me (just like I would), and out of all those "thousands of guys", I'm the one they choose to share true intimacy with.
Hiring someone to do something you need, and then thinking less of them because they do it, is mentally mixed up. If you think it's wrong or somehow makes them less of a person because they work in this trade, then it's wrong and makes you less of a man for you to participate as you're only contributing to the "problem".
I could go on, but I think I'll stop here and wait for the inevitable flame.
Nightfalle what a great post, i think i just fell in love 
Bobobear he didn't even have to pay me.
Sx
The things I care about when finding that someone is intelligence, personality, and to some extent their looks if I'm honest. If I were to find someone in the trade then I'd just remind myself that they may go out to play (just like I would) but they come home to me (just like I would), and out of all those "thousands of guys", I'm the one they choose to share true intimacy with.
Hiring someone to do something you need, and then thinking less of them because they do it, is mentally mixed up. If you think it's wrong or somehow makes them less of a person because they work in this trade, then it's wrong and makes you less of a man for you to participate as you're only contributing to the "problem".
I could go on, but I think I'll stop here and wait for the inevitable flame.
I went a little over a decade in the hobby making a few strong connections that were wonderful. I meet so many caring, wonderful women. About three years ago a connection became much more than that and we mutually fell in love. It happened quickly. We shared each others lives for six months. Events in our lives took us in separate directions. I do not believe I have ever truly felt love before or since.
i dont think providing is demeaning. i just dont see how you can love someone when she or he is sharing not just her physical body but her emotional part as well. theres nothing between you two.
look at your "share intimacy with" comment..in addition to the act of sex iself there is no way shes not allowing herself to be pleasured and have orgasms sometimes or give up part of her emotional intimacy by cuddling or sharing personal things when having conversations etc....especially with their regulars.
maybe pornstars i can sort of accept since after the shoot they dont cuddle and have emotional conversations etc.
instead of love i would say client and provider have "affections" to each other.
the fact the provider comes to your house instead of another doesnt equate with love
For example, I see a number of escorts (I would guess you do too) I don't feel that because I cuddle and chat with them during our session that this somehow depletes my ability to love or care for my SO. Do you believe that if you see enough women, professionally or not, that you will be incapable of love? If you are still capable of loving someone after seeing many women, why shouldn't they be capable after seeing many men?
Another example would be that I have a number of friends. I share parts of my life with all of them. Just because I have a buddy I play video games with, doesn't mean that my SO would somehow get less of me. Same thing here, while I have had a few escorts who share a lot of their life with me, most of the encounters go no deeper than any conversation I might have with any of my friends, coworkers, or buddies. If their discussing travel plans or their love of the theater somehow lessens their relationships with their husbands or boyfriends then that would be a very sad relationship.
I agree that visiting your house or sharing conversation isn't love. I think that's kind of my point, those things aren't love, they are a job, or at best friendship. Love is something very different and I believe your ability to have or express it isn't limited because you have a physical job or a lot of friends
Thanks for the response, I see where you're coming from and why that might seem to mean there's nothing (or not enough) left for just yourself. I would counter that love and affection aren't a bank which you can overdraw, but rather an ocean that is only limited by your willingness to go down to the shore and fill your pail again. If you think about your life some, you'll see that this is true, and if you apply the same things to their lives, I think you'll see what I mean.
For example, I see a number of escorts (I would guess you do too) I don't feel that because I cuddle and chat with them during our session that this somehow depletes my ability to love or care for my SO. Do you believe that if you see enough women, professionally or not, that you will be incapable of love? If you are still capable of loving someone after seeing many women, why shouldn't they be capable after seeing many men?
Another example would be that I have a number of friends. I share parts of my life with all of them. Just because I have a buddy I play video games with, doesn't mean that my SO would somehow get less of me. Same thing here, while I have had a few escorts who share a lot of their life with me, most of the encounters go no deeper than any conversation I might have with any of my friends, coworkers, or buddies. If their discussing travel plans or their love of the theater somehow lessens their relationships with their husbands or boyfriends then that would be a very sad relationship.
I agree that visiting your house or sharing conversation isn't love. I think that's kind of my point, those things aren't love, they are a job, or at best friendship. Love is something very different and I believe your ability to have or express it isn't limited because you have a physical job or a lot of friends.
bobabears comments sound like the same stuff anyone could aim at actors.
I like the discussion. Like right brain arguing with left brain
If you think in terms of sex, yes, actresses are sort of different. But actors pretend to love strangers as part of the job. Pretend all sorts of not good things. And on top of the official job of pretend (to say it bluntly) they have sex with men to get acting jobs.
And your post reads a lot how a mom or dad would tell their son that he's not allowed to marry Angelina Jolie... For *some* peoples and cultures marrying an actress or prostitute, both are unacceptable.
good luck with you loving a provider.
ive had provider girlfriends and its not worth it. only difference i saw was yes better sex skills then non provider girls when we had sex outside of her working days but way way i mean way more emotional baggage. not to piss off any providers but the fact a girl makes a decision to spread her legs for a living with thousands of guys means theres some psychological trauma involved with the girl. not as simple as just needed the money
Though it's sad fact that each of us has varying degrees of limits in our ability to love. Some just have limits to experiencing their emotions in general, and some have limits to experiencing loving feelings in particular. Loving someone takes time, energy, thought, and ability to place one's self in the other person's shoes. Many people feel limited in these resources. Too bad this is true for so many people. I do agree with you regarding "hiring someone to do something you need, and then thinking less of them because they do it" reveals major cognitive-dissonance.
It just happens.
Lot's of people meet at work. I think the second most common way is friend of a friend. It's kinda obvious if a provider is starting to get attached, 'cause she starts gettin' possessive. The ladies can tell too. Sometimes they're flattered, sometimes it makes them uncomfortable. It was explained to me that being kissed softly on the upper lip is tremendously more intimate than sex with a condom. I have never "made out" with a provider. That's when you know . . . it's more than a service. Meeting HIM/HER could happen in the line at lunch hour or at the car wash. Of the married couples I've seen interviewed, they all seem to describe the relationship as being instant and in full swing from the first moments of meeting. "You BOTH know right from the first few minutes of meeting each other." For me they seem to come along about every 25 years or so. I've blown it twice. 
Jonathan
One more member of the "yes and it hurts like hell" club.
at some point if you have been in the biz long enough you will meet someone who 'gets you'...and the chemistry is amazing. While nothing in the world is 'forever', life is always better when you have someone in your corner who loves you for who you are and not what you do.
It's nice to hear that even providers can get "hit by cupid's arrow." Now I don't feel like such a douche for having special feelings for my ATF.
We all know the rules of this industry. Certainly most of those who participate on this website are aware and hopefully behave consistently with those rules. The irony is, if you know the rules, then you can approach each encounter with a little more abandon, love, openness and authentic interaction. There is little risk in it. I fall in love on a regular basis here. I also find that if I am open, kind and honest, I usually get the same feelings and honesty back at me.
As I watch this boards, I am often shocked by the cynicism demonstrated by many of the hobbyists here. On one level I believe, the most cynical are saying more about themselves then about the hobby or the providers. I feel that the cynicism diminishes the quality of the experience that they can possibly enjoy and supports the bad behavior on both sides that we all know about. This board is all about elevating this profession and indulgence. Giving it some level of legitimacy in a world that likes to say it is illegitimate. If we are going to raise the profession, then we have to engage in it on a level that is worthy of respect.
I have yet to really fall in love here in the way that lasts. But each one of my fine interactions remains with me as a powerful sexual and emotional interaction. I am grateful to the women who share with me in the beautiful way they do. If I am fortunate enough to fall in love here I would hope that I would be evolved enough to transcend all the obvious blocks to turning that into a real relationship. It would be a two way journey because I do believe that love is an interaction between two lovers and with give and take as opposed to a one way idealized fantasy. So the engagement would change so I would assume how the woman would engage in her work would alter as well. I assume we would evolve as a couple or partnership. What would that look like would be determined by the couple not just by their histories. I am not seeking that, but I would not avoid it if it showed up. So yes, I think it's possible.
In the meantime, I intend to have the deepest, most beautiful and engaged few hours with some of the most spectacular women that this world has to offer. I intend to remain grateful and to enjoy deeply each time as if I am the laughing Buddah Hotai.
O2 in, but out for now
Wow Osprey2 that was a deep comment and well written too! I think some people forget sometimes, that life is suppose to be enjoyable and fun too!!!
And when two such people encounter each other, and their eyes meet, the past and the future become unimportant. There is only that moment, and the incredible certainty that everything under the sun has been written by one hand only. It is the hand that evokes love, and creates a twin soul for every person in the world. Without such love, one's dreams would have no meaning.”
― Paulo Coelho
......but our ideas on politics and religion, you know, the deeper issues, were diametrically opposed. We're still friends, but nothing beyond the physical for money would have survived.
These questions have been around for millennia. And this day and age, there are no followed "hobby" rules.
Some guy with the advantages will be able to take a TER provider out of the business for themselves
away from her thousands of other fans and possibly hundreds who dream of a relationship with her
i.e. the 99% of most TER clients. If you read Ms. January TER's site info, she implies she often gets hit on
to be an exclusive relationship by hobbyists who "follow the rules".
The reality is, even if you had feelings for an ATF, most likely you'll be rejected for wanting to go off
on a eloped relationship unless you are an actually a guy that doesn't need TER , but actually using TER to scout for hot women currently unattached, and have no problem with them being or having had a history as a provider.
Unless this post and question ad nauseam was an excuse for some to show off , and start boasting about how they
got into relationships with desirable providers who left the hobby for them again.
TER is mainly used 1) for established attached guys to cheat, 2) for (single or not) guys who could never make out with an average provider with over an 8 scale in looks irl.
And most providers are in the hobby because it pays more than any crappy job for single young women in this dead economy the corporatists and banksters etc. have left behind.
-- Modified on 3/23/2014 10:38:07 PM
This THe best post I that reading in Tis Ter board
For years lol
2 last paragraphs are AMAZING
LOL
cc
In the short time Ive been doing this, Ive only come across 1 creep. Otherwise I truly adore all the people I have met. It has been such an amazing experience. The men have been so gracious, clean & gentlemanly. I feel as though Im treated better then when I actually dated "regular" guys. Its such a win win for both sides. We both get exactly what we want with no drama attached!
I love my "job".
XoXo