What do wives and proctologists have in common?
They always have to deal with a pain in the ass.
What's the difference between husbands and prisoners?
Prisoners complain behind bars. Husbands complain in them.

When does a man feel like watering the garden?
After having a six pack.

What's the difference between a happy marriage and a fairy tale?
A fairy tales happens at least once upon a time.

What do women and tax forms have in common?
Men love to cheat on them.

What does a married man say after sex?
Don't tell my wife.

What's the best part of marriage?
Divorce.

Why do husbands appreciate hell?
At least there, they know what they did wrong.

What do marriage and Bill Clinton have in common?
They're both a joke.

Remember: The Bible says to "Love thy neighbor," but make sure her husband isn't home first.