I probably will get blown out of the water by making comments about this one. The way I understand and sense what, the gentleman message the way you described it is. I can tell, this person is an older guy a "newbie" that is honest and sincere and the most significant to me is, the mentioned about before the internet an old school that is NOT completely aware about the rules yet. Most older guys, in reality are hesitant to embraced the fast phase of modern high tech and the social media which is the norm today. And I believe his mind set is "don't beleieve anything you see in the internet", and he's cautious enough. Meaning, he wants to SEE THE MERCHANDIZE PHYSICALLY an old school mentality. And also majority of an older gentleman like me gets into this playground late in our lives because we've almost done everything in life and we play just to bring a new spices in our sex lives, majority are retired, widowed, divorce, children grown, SO's no longer can provide, disabilities, mid-life crisis, etc and other reasons.
I also respect your screening process which is always and always a must for your safety but I also understand this gentleman's concerns, about his privacy and personal safety too..the element of trust from both side..-- Modified on 7/22/2015 8:39:35 AM
I usually don't post on this board but after today's correspondence with a potential client, I thought it might be important to swell whatever reputation I already have for being a major proponent of screening. The conversation goes as follows:
HE SAYS "Claire, I took some time to understand how the whole thing works and I realize that I might not be right for this club. I do not feel comfortable with the screening process, I can't help it. I apologize, because I should have known this. I have just no experience, zero. I was wondering how people were dealing with this before the Internet. I guess they were speaking on the phone, meeting in a cafe or restaurant, and taking it from there, depending on how it felt. What went wrong with that?"
I SAY "The process of simply trusting someone who can use violence on you, whether it be legal or physical, went wrong. It often went wrong. It still goes wrong. Therefor, people with access to networks of other providers got smart and insisted on putting those networks to good use. Nothing went wrong with that part. Actually, it went right for once; or at least for most of the time. This said, I can only insist that my potential clients have no more to lose sharing their personal information as I do making myself available in this line of work.
Thank you. Feels good to get that off my chest."
-------
For future reference, below are my screening options. Ladies, feel free to use this text!
In order of preference, here are my screening options:
1. References:
You may send Links to the ads of or contact information for the 2 (or more) providers you’ve seen most recently. These providers must be reviewed and verified as sure and legitimate companions. Remember to share with me information they’ll need to remember you by.
2. Verification Site ID(s):
You can share your P411, Datecheck or TER ID. You must have OKs, recommendations or be whitelisted. If you use RS2K, I’m sorry but I do not have access to that system.
3. Verifiable Academic and/or Professional Info:
To do this, you may send me an email from your verifiable email address. This email address must be searchable via search engine and linked to your company’s – or otherwise legit – website(s). You’re also welcome to share your LinkedIn, Facebook and other profiles but these will not satisfy my screening criteria alone. Nor will employment verification by P411. I need to do it myself.
+ Basically, I need you to demonstrate you are who you say you are.
+ This process may also be completed by contacting me from a verifiable phone number.
+ You are welcome to email a completely unassociated email account I have established with your privacy and confidence in mind. Please inquire.
Any alias information you choose to share with me will only be saved on offshore, private databases (if at all). This would be for record keeping and reference sharing only. As for your personal identification info, it all will be deleted and destroyed.
Your privacy and safety is important to me!
xoxoxox,
Claire Gold
I probably will get blown out of the water by making comments about this one. The way I understand and sense what, the gentleman message the way you described it is. I can tell, this person is an older guy a "newbie" that is honest and sincere and the most significant to me is, the mentioned about before the internet an old school that is NOT completely aware about the rules yet. Most older guys, in reality are hesitant to embraced the fast phase of modern high tech and the social media which is the norm today. And I believe his mind set is "don't beleieve anything you see in the internet", and he's cautious enough. Meaning, he wants to SEE THE MERCHANDIZE PHYSICALLY an old school mentality. And also majority of an older gentleman like me gets into this playground late in our lives because we've almost done everything in life and we play just to bring a new spices in our sex lives, majority are retired, widowed, divorce, children grown, SO's no longer can provide, disabilities, mid-life crisis, etc and other reasons.
I also respect your screening process which is always and always a must for your safety but I also understand this gentleman's concerns, about his privacy and personal safety too..the element of trust from both side..
-- Modified on 7/22/2015 8:39:35 AM
That they could potietialy have their info leaked , or abused.
I always remind potential clients that I have a long reputation and there's never been any abuse of sensitive information.
It gets done to protect us both and I personally would meet with someone who dosent have a screening process in place if I were a client.
It's two sides and we're going out on a limb as well as yourself to trust to meet you . You have to give us something to go off of to establish that level of comfort.
Thank you for your post Clair 😘
I understand the need for safety in both sides. I don't feel there is any garuntees that you are safe even with information from other websites. All that that can be faked, and even if its not, I feel it gives a false sense of security.
I would absolutely never tell another woman how to run her business, but I would never ask a man for his personal information. I like anonymity, so I don't participate in any kind of reference system. I don't get or give them. Yes, its a huge leap of trust, but as a slave/ masochist, I'm doing that anyway. There is a lot to be said for feeling someone out in email and being very choosy about who you actually book with, too. Then again,I only session a couple times a month. Maybe that's why.
I typically operate under the idea that this arrangement is a mutual trust situation. If a provider is offering her vulnerability by either welcoming a visitor into her space or another that is isolated, then the visitor must be prepared to provide his information for mutual safety.
Another point is that I feel that visitors that are honest and respectful should have nothing to hide.
We all take risks indulging in this hobby, whether provider or hobbyist. Sure, it may be uncomfortable to provide information to a provider that could potentially be used against you.
However, the reality is that any reputable provider is not going to destroy her whole career to try to blackmail (or whatever) any visitor. It would take one report of a breach of privacy to ruin out reputations.
This is a service we provide to the hobbyists for their pleasure, but we do have to ensure our safety.
On another note... "before the internet" is probably when the hobby earned such a bad reputation for violence and other concerning behaviors. The screening wasn't as easy and the women likely had to take more risks and men who may be up to no good had much easier access.
Another fantastic site to utilize is verifyhim.com. it is widely used by many providers of all sorts, reports are made on trouble clients, and it collects information from the web. Our clients have many opportunity to give feedback on us, and we need the ability to at the very least be sure that the people we are providing for are just as reputable.