from much of what is said on these boards (a lot of it from yours truly too.)

However, the female orgasm is much like the cherry on the sundae.  Lots of fun to look at and it tastes sweet, but it's just a small part of the whole experience.

To continue my food/sex metaphor for a bit (and why not, there are a lot of parallels):

You want the finest mounds of cream, the thick luscious rich dark chocolate and it doesn't hurt to be nuts. (OK switching off metaphor)

But most of all, the enjoyment of a sexual encounter is most dependent on the attitude that each brings to the bed.  Openess to new experience, deep interest in the other, attention paid to the little things, these are what make up a great session.

In short:  Don't give it a second thought.

She'll be comming around the mountain when she comes...

Re:female sexual response and "maturity"

Uh oh, Duchess_4_u,

What media and science at large hath wrought and brought upon us ever-questioning females! Take it from an ancient one: you are nowhere near these "symptoms" if you are 10-15 years away from peri-menopause. When they come, you'll know it. It's not so much about localized decreased sensitivity, in fact, one of the symptoms will be increased sensitivity to the point of being painful, because your vaginal tissues will feel "dried out" from a decrease in estrogen.

But what you are doing, and which is entirely normal from a female adult developmental view, is that you are expanding your sexual repertoire. You are getting to know your body; in fact, you are becoming a connoisseuse of what turns you on..and what doesn't. An example from a clinical case: I had a woman in her 20s who absolutely hated anyone going down on her. In the rare event it did happen, she told me she started "counting numbers in the head." Fast-forward 10 years, and the same woman is now enjoying getting oral. Several things happened: she was able to relax into it when she felt safe and stop counting numbers in her head; also, she spent time with more mature men who didn't treat her clitoris like a piece of hard candy - and, she got to know her body and felt more comfortable with it as she matured.

Now as to the whole "coming" issue: who is to say that an orgasm has to be one way or another? Yes, it's important for men to feel validated in bed, but remember that men can mostly proceed from their own biological standpoint, which is an orgasm emanating largely from one focal point. For females, orgasm can range from an intense G-spot experience, complete with gushing, to an all over warm feeling that doesn't necessarily involve the clitoris at all. As to your answer when someone asks - leave it up to the moment to respond.

In some way, I believe older, more mature men can relate to this issue as well. It seems that they are also capable of reaching all-over orgasms, some of them even "dry." They report that same "warm all-over" sensation and release, without ejaculating. Yes, the body does change. As we get older, the focus moves away from the destination and becomes more about the journey. As it should be.

Happy travels,
the Love Goddess

Heya Duchess

A couple years back, I met probably one of the nicest providers a guy could hope to meet.  The session was light and affectionate and fun - and I didn't finish.  I figured at the time that I had desensitized myself with too many videos and too much pleasuring myself; she mentioned that sometimes it happens with providers, too - too much over time and things just start getting desensitized.  As LG has mentioned quite often, it could also be the brain, looking for some variety.

As for a woman's orgasm, maybe I'm not the typical guy but that's not something I look for in an experience.  I go into it hoping that we both have a good time.  It doesn't matter if the time spent is wild and passionate or sedate and affectionate, if we both have a smile at the end (and hopefully throughout), I'm happy.