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lumbermanxxx 602 reads
posted

did nothing wrong, things happen if life beyond our control.  It sounds like you have a very good connection with him, maybe offer him a little extra sometime at no charge..lol. Don't make it something you dwell on, neither of you will appreciate it.  Have fun and move on :) !!

Posted By: veronicaphillips
A few weeks ago, a very special friend scheduled an extended visit.  
 So of course, I set aside a few hours for he and I to share.  
   
 At the last minute, due to a genuine family emergency, he was forced to cancel.  
   
 He did so in the most gracious way.  In fact, he offered to compensate me for my time.  At the time, I  accepted the offer.  
   
 And therein lies my dilemma.  I was conflicted then, and I'm still conflicted today.  
 (just so you know, I never asked to be compensated)  
   
 Besides, after he informed me of why we couldn't meet, compensation was the furthest thing from my mind.  
   
 I've actually shared some time alone with the gentleman since then.  He doesn't feel as if I've done anything wrong.  
   
 If fact, he insists that it would have been wrong for him not to offer.  And insulting for me not to accept.  
   
 My question isn't really whether it should be protocol to compensate a lady in some way if you have to cancel at the last minute.  It sometimes takes us hours to prepare to meet you.  There are often costs involved in that preparation as well.  
   
 But in this case, the reason for the cancellation was close personal loss.  
 And I knew it.  
   
 Was I wrong to accept?  
   
 

-- Modified on 8/27/2015 9:06:03 PM

veronicaphillips1768 reads

A few weeks ago, a very special friend scheduled an extended visit.
So of course, I set aside a few hours for he and I to share.

At the last minute, due to a genuine family emergency, he was forced to cancel.

He did so in the most gracious way.  In fact, he offered to compensate me for my time.  At the time, I  accepted the offer.

And therein lies my dilemma.  I was conflicted then, and I'm still conflicted today.
(just so you know, I never asked to be compensated)

Besides, after he informed me of why we couldn't meet, compensation was the furthest thing from my mind.

I've actually shared some time alone with the gentleman since then.  He doesn't feel as if I've done anything wrong.

If fact, he insists that it would have been wrong for him not to offer.  And insulting for me not to accept.

My question isn't really whether it should be protocol to compensate a lady in some way if you have to cancel at the last minute.  It sometimes takes us hours to prepare to meet you.  There are often costs involved in that preparation as well.

But in this case, the reason for the cancellation was close personal loss.
And I knew it.

Was I wrong to accept?



-- Modified on 8/27/2015 9:06:03 PM

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Intrigued*887 reads

To accept his offer.  

Given your obvious connection to this person, express you appreciation to him directly and sincerely.  Then, give of yourself in a personal way the next time you two are together.  Every man appreciates a real connection with a lady.

Kudos to you.

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veronicaphillips631 reads

Thank you for the kudos.  And the advice.

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macdaddy1944746 reads

i would consider returning at least a portion of his donation..a clear conscience is priceless..

Posted By: veronicaphillips
A few weeks ago, a very special friend scheduled an extended visit.  
 So of course, I set aside a few hours for he and I to share.  
   
 At the last minute, due to a genuine family emergency, he was forced to cancel.  
   
 He did so in the most gracious way.  In fact, he offered to compensate me for my time.  At the time, I  accepted the offer.  
   
 And therein lies my dilemma.  I was conflicted then, and I'm still conflicted today.  
 (just so you know, I never asked to be compensated)  
   
 Besides, after he informed me of why we couldn't meet, compensation was the furthest thing from my mind.  
   
 I've actually shared some time alone with the gentleman since then.  He doesn't feel as if I've done anything wrong.  
   
 If fact, he insists that it would have been wrong for him not to offer.  And insulting for me not to accept.  
   
 My question isn't really whether it should be protocol to compensate a lady in some way if you have to cancel at the last minute.  It sometimes takes us hours to prepare to meet you.  There are often costs involved in that preparation as well.  
   
 But in this case, the reason for the cancellation was close personal loss.  
 And I knew it.  
   
 Was I wrong to accept?  
   
 

-- Modified on 8/27/2015 9:06:03 PM

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veronicaphillips568 reads

On the surface that sounds like a good idea.  The question is, how would it be received?

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STPhomer663 reads

But I bet you would feel better about the whole thing if you insisted on reciprocalating in some way.  Something off the clock like taking him for a drink or bite to eat. Perhaps some bonus time next for the next session.

I only suggest this because you seem sincerely conflicted.

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veronicaphillips568 reads

There was one other suggestion I received via PM.  Both this one and that one show that some of you definitely get why this weighs on me.

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bj1961682 reads

He did the right thing and you will have an even better relationship.

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blucielo635 reads

Whatever you do or don't do, it sounds like there are two considerate people involved. Odds are favorable for a good result.

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oralconniseur702 reads

quoted him saying "If fact, he insists that it would have been wrong for him not to offer.  And insulting for me not to accept.".  

He has made his decision and you should accept it and move on. You are fortunate to have a hobbyist who has the up most respect for you, your business and the relationship you have; that he wanted to compensate you without you asking. He is a keeper.  

I think the issue is you are such a kindhearted person; which is why it is bothering you. But if it will make you feel better without "insulting" him and you feel you would like to reciprocate his kind gesture, then give a little longer session the next couple of times. I am sure he will not mind.

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AmberAffection530 reads

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lumbermanxxx603 reads

did nothing wrong, things happen if life beyond our control.  It sounds like you have a very good connection with him, maybe offer him a little extra sometime at no charge..lol. Don't make it something you dwell on, neither of you will appreciate it.  Have fun and move on :) !!

Posted By: veronicaphillips
A few weeks ago, a very special friend scheduled an extended visit.  
 So of course, I set aside a few hours for he and I to share.  
   
 At the last minute, due to a genuine family emergency, he was forced to cancel.  
   
 He did so in the most gracious way.  In fact, he offered to compensate me for my time.  At the time, I  accepted the offer.  
   
 And therein lies my dilemma.  I was conflicted then, and I'm still conflicted today.  
 (just so you know, I never asked to be compensated)  
   
 Besides, after he informed me of why we couldn't meet, compensation was the furthest thing from my mind.  
   
 I've actually shared some time alone with the gentleman since then.  He doesn't feel as if I've done anything wrong.  
   
 If fact, he insists that it would have been wrong for him not to offer.  And insulting for me not to accept.  
   
 My question isn't really whether it should be protocol to compensate a lady in some way if you have to cancel at the last minute.  It sometimes takes us hours to prepare to meet you.  There are often costs involved in that preparation as well.  
   
 But in this case, the reason for the cancellation was close personal loss.  
 And I knew it.  
   
 Was I wrong to accept?  
   
 

-- Modified on 8/27/2015 9:06:03 PM

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Alyssa Marie732 reads

He wants to give you the funds. To me it seems like a long term situation. Even $1000 may seem like a lot of money (and it is, don't get me wrong), but over your adulthood years combined, you really won't miss it.

If he wants you to have it, but it's bothering you that you accepted it..

donate some of it! :)

How did he lose his loved one? If there is a charitable cause for it, that's your answer.
If not, pick one near and dear to the both of you.

He will survive without the money, so will you.
You will both be happy.
And most importantly, you'll be paying it forward and helping others!
:)

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veronicaphillips600 reads

I don't think that people outside of the hobby would ever believe how thoughtful some of us (hobbyists and providers) really are.  

They have this notion of what we're like and what we do.  You and others absolutely belie their self-righteous misconceptions.

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greenie436 reads

A brilliant idea.  You're one of the (many) good ones!

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ANaturalBeauty625 reads

...and you hit the nail on the head as to why. Preparing for a particular date is sometimes a multi-day process for me, and like you said, there are often costs involved. I think is where deposits come in handy, and in this situation accepting a deposit may have provided you and your gentleman with an agreeable middle ground.

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showboy123561 reads

I can understand why you felt odd accepting compensation, but this guy sounds like someone who would have felt bad if he had not done something for you. Obviously the relationship means something to him. Not sure if it would have been insulting for you not to accept, but I think you did right to do so.

Do something personal for him. Not necessarily in the context of The Hobby, but something that shows him the relationship means something to you too.

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veronicaphillips520 reads

Another suggestion that I really like, and that I'll likely follow as well.

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mialove586532 reads

if they feel like doing it ..obviously never asking/demanding it because it would seem greedy...however any gentleman willing to care so much about my time is for sure the right and most gracious kind of client. He's a keeper hun :)  
Cancelations suck no matter what however when they are sincere and let you know ahead of time it is much appreciated  
:)  

Posted By: veronicaphillips
A few weeks ago, a very special friend scheduled an extended visit.  
 So of course, I set aside a few hours for he and I to share.  
   
 At the last minute, due to a genuine family emergency, he was forced to cancel.  
   
 He did so in the most gracious way.  In fact, he offered to compensate me for my time.  At the time, I  accepted the offer.  
   
 And therein lies my dilemma.  I was conflicted then, and I'm still conflicted today.  
 (just so you know, I never asked to be compensated)  
   
 Besides, after he informed me of why we couldn't meet, compensation was the furthest thing from my mind.  
   
 I've actually shared some time alone with the gentleman since then.  He doesn't feel as if I've done anything wrong.  
   
 If fact, he insists that it would have been wrong for him not to offer.  And insulting for me not to accept.  
   
 My question isn't really whether it should be protocol to compensate a lady in some way if you have to cancel at the last minute.  It sometimes takes us hours to prepare to meet you.  There are often costs involved in that preparation as well.  
   
 But in this case, the reason for the cancellation was close personal loss.  
 And I knew it.  
   
 Was I wrong to accept?  
   
 

-- Modified on 8/27/2015 9:06:03 PM

Related Link: http://www.missmialove.com

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Jacque_Jenesais586 reads

No dings in the history. Sounds like you should just thank him. People give and receive in this world all the time. It's not always tit for tat. The relationship is worth more than money.

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