many years ago I had a wonderful ATF that I had a standing appointment with on Thruday afternoons.
That lasted for about a year, and there is more to it than that, but now she doesn't see me anymore and that is awfully sad.
I'm sure there was some issues with the frequency of the appointments.
I saw a woman last Friday that had me floating about 6 inches off the ground all weekend in the "afterglow" effect.
I'm pretty sure I'm under control in terms of emotional attachments, which we've had a lot of discussions about recently here. Buuuuuut . . . I've been checking out her website frequently this morning (not checking for new info, just re-looking at her pics in sort of a dazed stupor - LOL); and mentally thinking about re-arranging my schedule to see her again this week rather than the proverbial "definitely sometime down the road".
Here's the questions - how long do guys usually wait before a repeat visit?; how short a time between visits would make an experienced provider a bit nervous?; because like I say I don't want to jump back to see her so fast that things aren't as fun as the first time.
If this explanation is not exactly clear what I am asking, please ask me to clarify.
Well, bballs,
I see your hormonal configuration is in good working order 
. Why don't you wait a week and see where you find yourself, both financially and emotionally? It's good to "calm down" a little before revving up again.
As to the provider getting "nervous," I wouldn't worry about it. If she's experienced, she probably has some 'regulars,' and you'll be another fan added to the bunch. As to the 'fun factor,' it'll probably get even more intense, if you really, really are into her.
On the other hand, being a 'hanger-on' is not very erotic. Providers get bored too, unless there is major chemistry between the two of you.
It's another dirty little secret, but I have spoken to plenty of providers who sigh deeply when they talk about some of their 'regulars.' Usually, it's not the sexual interaction they find bothersome, it's the intense emotional attachment - particularly when it's not reciprocal. The 'boyfriend rule' is a good one to apply. If you're seeing the same provider more than a couple of times per week, then you've strayed into boyfriend territory. It's OK for some ladies, but for others, it borders on being in a regular relationship...and for some freedom-loving, independent gals, that's just way too much to handle, even if the pay is good.
How about once weekly, to begin with,
the Love Goddess
Bingo - just what I needed to hear - it was mainly the "hanger-on" factor I wanted to stay far far away from. Thanks.
many years ago I had a wonderful ATF that I had a standing appointment with on Thruday afternoons.
That lasted for about a year, and there is more to it than that, but now she doesn't see me anymore and that is awfully sad.
I'm sure there was some issues with the frequency of the appointments.
I agree and yet disagree with the sage advice from the Goddess and mrfisher. Sure, you might not find the same high arcing sparks upon another appointment so soon, but you never know until you try. Seeing somebody that blew your mind with such intensity, could have the positive effect of cementing a killer friendship (read, longlasting fuck-buddy)
I know for a fact that many providers ADORE the prospects of a regular, especially one that they like. Familliarty would take more that a few visits.
Yet, timing is everything and you may not unearth as much gold on your next visit, purely because she might be tired, your mind is distracted, your body is tripping...any number of things. But, my little wooden brain thinks that the cultivation of an amazing ATF is totally worth it!
Just remember that nothing lasts forever!
In my case, this ATF became close to my preteen daughter as a result of babysitting while the wife and I went on a trip. (That's a whole other kettle of fish.)
When the mem-sahib and I split up, I think she felt somewhat responsible and that is why I get the cold shoulder now.
Now class, who wants to point out how many things Mr. Fisher did wrong here? ;O)
Mrfisher - did I understand you to say you used as a babysitter an escort with whom you had consorted?
How did you explain that to the misses??? I'm intrigued.
I had been married for the requisite seven years when I decided to revert to form and start hobbying on the QT. Unfortunately my wife found out and threw a fit, so I quit...for about three weeks, then started up again. The wife found out the second time and then she finally said screw it, go ahead and see if I care. So for a few heavenly years, (until the letter came from her lawyer) I was sort of eating my cake and having it too.
I had met Pat (an alias), my ATF, a few years earlier and fell head over heels for her, and she felt similarly for me. We experienced a lot of the highs and lows that lovers had, but overall, it was one wonderful romance.
While my wife and I had this arrangement, we planned a summer trip to Canada while the kids were at summer camp. Unfortunately, just after my 11 year old daughter got to camp, we got calls from the camp that things weren't going well with her. (She eventually was diagnosed with ADHD, but for now, was unmedicated.) Well the camp said we had to go up and grab her and now with no one to look after her, the trip to Canada seemed in doubt.
I mentioned this to Pat and right out of the blue she offered to stay with my daughter while my wife and I went up to the Great White North. She and I were very close and shared our lives' histories. (I actually first met her when she was a nurse for my grandmother in a nursing home. Of course that was before I even knew of her work at a MP where I met her many, many years later. She recognized me and I her, but we couldn't remember where from. Finally when she heard my last name it all came together.)
Well I brought my Pat's offer to the wife, and seeing as how she was a nurse and all (and she knew how close we were) she decided, WTH, and that's how it all came about.
The down side, so to speak, was that after Pat became close to my daughter, our sexual relationship quickly dried up.
We continued to be friends for a while and I never pushed the issue of the sexual relationship, not just because I knew it would be futile, but because I knew it was no longer right for her. (I still desired her just as much or more, however. Her face reminded me of a line from Elvis Costello's Watching the Detectives: "A face that pulls you like a magnet")
For about a year we would meet, sometimes with my daughter and once with my son, to see movies, go to museums and once we all had a big slumber party on the floor of her apartment. I felt like I was in college. I enjoyed being in her company so much.
Then, she started to not return my calls or my letters, nothing.
I see another woman who works at the MP where Pat works (not at the MP, off campus, so to speak) and she reports on her to me so I can know what's going on. Sometimes she brings me up in conversation to see if the former ATF would have any reaction but, rien.
And yes, she has gorgeous red hair, just like my current heart throb.
Sorry to ramble so long like Grandpa Simpson, but you did ask.
Now I'm off to tie an onion to my belt and count the bees in my pocket.
Wow Mrfisher . . . that is an amazing tale. Thanks for sharing.
. . . I knew I would return to her. For a sanity check, I booked with an upscale local provider 3 days later. After that session I still prefer my ATF; so I saw her 3 days after that. from then on, we had at least one date a week, plus additional time for hanging out together. So far, our relationship keeps getting better; I don't think any of us are bored.
This is a business, and if both of you realize that, then familiarity will not breed contempt. Last week I saw one of my ATFs, whom I probably have seen about 100 times, twice in the same week. She was happy to see me, but she knows that I am just enjoying myself, not getting emotionally attached.
Maybe it helps that whenever I meet one of my ATFs I talk about the others, as well as my wife. I suspect that this makes me much less threatening on an emotional level.
I think this is wonderful and you're lucky to have found someone who floats your boat this way. We meet new people all the time and I can think of nothing better than finding someone extra special, especially when you least expect it. How exciting!
Instead of thinking about it so much, just do what your instincts tell you to do and have fun. If you can afford her, have the time and aren't going to go crazy (leaving spouses, suggesting running away to Mexico, etc.) I say do it! See her twice in one day, twice in one week, two days back to back, take her away for the weekend. Whatever makes you happy.
Personally, I do become tired of the emotional attachment business on the board and people repeating the line: "It's just a business" and insinuating that every provider/client relationship is fleeting. I think there is nothing wrong with becoming emotionally attached to a client or provider as long as everyone stays realistic and in control.
Kate
Amen Baby! I discovered it is more than just a business, and did almost all of the above with my ATF and enjoyed every second of it, as she did.
Yea, you may strike some unreasonably lucky find in a provider and live out a fairy tale, but otherwise you are likely to just become another love puppet of some crafty provider! Sure emotions are sensitive and time shared can be special, but how many times does a provider offer her regular a free ride? It happens, but not as often as some psuedo-Don Juan's will have you believe. And of course, a provider will only profit from having you feel the connection to her is more powerful than the donation...cause then you're tight on her strings! I don't mean to sound cynical or anything...but lying puppets always pay the price.
It's better to try to interfere with those emotions than let them take you over, I think. And it's better occasionally to see a woman you could fall in love with than find yourself shut out completely. That's my thinking.