If you're a provider, to thine own self be true! Don't try to be everything to everyone. You have something special to offer -- value that about yourself. Trust your instinct. Let the appointment go rather than take a client who just doesn't feel right. Have fun. If it's not fun, or stops being fun, don't do it anymore. Take a break, or find another job. Never let anyone make you feel like less than you are. If someone is generous to you, be generous to someone else, e.g., if you get a big tip, make a donation or make someone's day with a big tip, too. Always, always put your health (emotional AND physical) first.

Maybe it's not my place to say advice for clients But my wish list: the provider usually has specific screening instructions on her website or on her ad. Follow them to the letter if you want an appointment. Don't try to get around her "rules;" those are her comfort zone. Have references ready whom you have asked to vouch for you. Don't ask for pictures. Don't bring flowers or gift bags! (too conspicuous). If you call before and say do you want something and you bring it (I have asked for a sandwich, for ice cream, that is different). Sometimes a provider gets too busy to get a good meal and a sandwich can be as nice as a tip Oh and tips! We remember those expressions of generosity. Be a gentleman. Don't ask personal questions and don't lecture (yes, some lecture about what we should be doing with our lives, always after, of course! Shower, for heavens sake. There's some part of her that's beautiful. Compliment her on it. She's a woman, when all's said and done, not a vending machine. She has feelings. Follow up with an email and say you had a nice time (if you did). Basic party manners we learned in K.

Manners? Attitude?
At first contact,  
-Provide a one line intro about yourself (if email, 2-3 lines is okay), First name/Known Alias included,
-Be flirtatious but polite. Most of us still balk at explicit terms until screening is completed.
-Adventurousness is welcomed! If you have specific fantasies, tell us upfront. Please don't send attachments before informing us, for discretionary reasons.
-Questions are a given. Tell us what you liked about our pictures/reviews, and provide any queries upfront.  
-Have qualms about activities a provider offers? Tell us. Some like me are aggressive in bed and need to be told "no" ahead of time.

We love to know who we are going to meet! This helps us mentally prepare ourselves for the upcoming playtime, and reduces our anxiety and nervousness.
Be you! Some ladies enjoy shy men, some assertive men, and others love a lover.

Booking?
-Give usernames to any other sites you are affiliated with for screening purposes,
-If applicable, any references (2-3) from the past 6 months,
-When contacting an established provider, Phone numbers help us verify you. Please trust us and avoid a burner phone,
-If your email or phone has contact limitations, TELL US IMMEDIATELY. Discretion is as important to us as it is to you.
-Detail your availability for your area (Nova, DCmetro, PG co, Montgomery co) or a grouping of areas,
-If you require metro, a taxi, incall, or outcall, PLEASE include this with the area(s)
-Do not stress if there is an immediate response, or if the reply is 3 days later.

 
Now that I've said all this...
Many women I've spoken with are independent; They do not waste their time with rude, curt, and violent men.
Not to say that we don't enjoy some roughhousing from our ladies and gents, but informing us upfront helps. Okay, so your ideal lady doesn't have the bodytype you want for hogtying her and slapping her tits... but at the end of the day, leaving your house or her room knowing no cops will be after you for assault is GOLDEN.
Make us feel desired. Even if you don't mean it, find a way to give us accolades! About our personality, our body, our reviews, our websites, shoot, even if we are having a bad day, being told that we are worthy of lauding really engenders us to YOU!

Secondly, we cannot safely meet after explicit talk has occured and we cannot verify that you are not law enforcement. Provide screening info requested on our website(s).

Thirdly, many of us continue in this field for the companionship. Communicating yours needs, wants, and desires with us helps you and the proviser decide if you two will be a good fit. Most of this is comprised of you typing in the way that  you talk. So we can better know you.

 
Thank you.

Go into these dates as you would any "civie" date, with respect for the lady, and without an entitled attitude.
While you will have things you want to do, if you discover that the lady is not comfortable with any of these as your date goes along (regardless of what her profile or reviews said), just roll with things and enjoy what she does offer.  Never pressure a lady to do things she doesn't want to do.  Making a lady uncomfortable by pressuring her is the surest way to sabatoge your date.  Each lady is different, so learn to relax and enjoy that difference, both in terms of what she offers and her personality, rather than having a predetermined script in your mind.  I asked a lady last week if I could use my fingers with her (I love feeling a lady's wetness with FIV) and she reached and got gloves for me lol!  Was certainly different, but I respected her wish, got a little chuckle out of the essentially "finger condom" I had, and went ahead.  She was a little quirky but very authentic and we had a very fun time together.

Kissing is probably the activity with the highest amount of variability I've found - no tongue, a little, a lot, gentle and slow, fast and darting - just take it slow and follow her lead.  This is probably the first activity you will engage in, so it can really set the tone and give her an idea of what kind of guy you are.  If you are trying to ram your tongue down her throat and she isn't into it, that is NOT a good way to start the date off.  Remember, the more relaxed she is with you, the better time you will have.  Same type of thing with DATY, pay close attention to all her reactions, and adjust accordingly.  You might have her moaning for 30 minutes, or she might not be into it at all and you stop after a minute.  Every lady is different.

AFTER a date is the time to assess if the net of everything you experienced with a lady was worth it.  So while ON the date, don't do this, keep a great attitude and roll with things and this will maximize the chance that you have a great experience.  

So relax, be clean, trim everywhere that needs it, clip and file your nails, etc... and if she "asks" if you want a shower (even if you just took one at home) - hop in for a quick one (and many ladies will join you which is great foreplay).  Also, you might get knocked off your feet by her as soon as you enter the door.  Despite this, make the special effort to remember to put your payment in plain sight within the first minute or two - EVEN IF she doesn't seem concerned with this and the action is already heating up.  Pretty embarrassing to have a great date almost over and the lady needs to "hint" about something being missing.

Finally... have fun!

in 6 years of doing this. Just a couple of things I'd add, especially for hobbyist newbies:
-  Expect that, no matter how carefully you choose, there will occasionally be disappointments.  I've experienced a couple of NCNS instances, been under a ledge during a torrential rainstorm while calling the number repeatedly for almost an hour, had more than one last-minute phone responses (when I was there & called for room #) of 'Something happened that freaked me out & I can't see you' and an occasional very disappointing session, though very few (I think I'm a careful shopper & do a lot of 'homework').  Just learn that it's part of the process & try to use them as teaching points.
-  Don't be afraid to say something to the provider if you don't like what or how she's doing something.  I once was with a provider whose BJ technique wasn't working very well for me & I just endured it, where if I'd made some subtle hints maybe the session would have been better.  And if you don't like how she is taking or not taking the lead, let her know how you'd like the session to proceed, they're not mind-readers.
-  Always be polite, courteous & appreciative; as someone already said, every lady has something you can compliment, cute dimple, different accent, pretty feet, whatever. Always remember that they are not only people with feelings, but are also more than normally aware that they are subject to approval of their looks to a high degree, it doesn't cost anything to make them feel good about themselves.
-  And Always remember that it's supposed to be about both of you having a good time!