San Francisco

Exactly
oargerela 110 Reviews 504 reads
posted


END OF MESSAGE

319Please1077 reads

Yesterday I got to see a provider who's as hot and accommodating as any woman I expect to ever be with. I'm only early forties -- but kind of feel like there's nowhere to go from here sexually. I'm sure it will fade, but it's a strange feeling of sexual sadness that I've never dealt with before.

Are you kidding? You're the luckiest guy on TER. You've found that which we all seek. Go see her a hundred times. Two hundred times. Now is not the time for sadness. When your relationship with her moves on will be the time for sadness. But it's a sweet sadness with all the incredible memories.

The way I figured this, I'm not a psychiatrist, psychologist or even criminologist but I detect something wrong here, I know you are aware that it might fade away but if it doesn't, you need professional help man, seems to me your honest enough to share your thoughts about what you just experience and you mentioned your age, Just feeling that way at that age is kind of creepy to me. This forum is for sharing and exchanging experiences and ideas, obtaining information and humor and fun. Instead of sharing your experience with an outstanding reviews you announce your somewhat true emotions, and to me, that is not healthy, getting involve or even saddened about your encounter is like you have the "hopeless romantic" effect, if you know what that means. get the hold of yourself man. You're going down the path of confusion, stalker, depressed or a creep. That's IMHO.
 

Posted By: 319Please
Yesterday I got to see a provider who's as hot and accommodating as any woman I expect to ever be with. I'm only early forties -- but kind of feel like there's nowhere to go from here sexually. I'm sure it will fade, but it's a strange feeling of sexual sadness that I've never dealt with before.

Posted By: oargerela
This forum is for sharing and exchanging experiences and ideas, obtaining information and humor and fun. Instead of sharing your experience with an outstanding reviews you announce your somewhat true emotions, and to me, that is not healthy, getting involve or even saddened about your encounter is like you have the "hopeless romantic" effect, if you know what that means. get the hold of yourself man. You're going down the path of confusion, stalker, depressed or a creep. That's IMHO.
   
He is sharing and exchanging an experience, and a very important one. I believe the board is a friendly and a good place for it. We all learn from each other. It made me search and I learned even more about the issue.  
Of course we share hobby related information, direct and help each other for safety, once in a while post something funny (I know, this board can get too serious at times) but I do appreciate when people post their true emotions. It shows who really they are. Sharing true emotions is VERY healthy. I truly appreciate that quality.

He's over forty years old ladies and seems that he has not have a great sex before in his life until now, sounds like, it is the end and he can no longer find a better one out there, than he just experience. Instead of motivating himself, say if that was so great it has to be more out there. But it looks like he reached the end of the rainbow, and he sounds so fucking sad. WTF not healthy to me.

Posted By: oargerela
He's over forty years old ladies and seems that he has not have a great sex before in his life until now, sounds like, it is the end and he can no longer find a better one out there, than he just experience. Instead of motivating himself, say if that was so great it has to be more out there. But it looks like he reached the end of the rainbow, and he sounds so fucking sad. WTF not healthy to me.
No judgement should be made about anyone's previous experiences, and what they are going through. Age has nothing to do with it either. Everyone is different. I am sure it will pass and I am sure if it does not go away and turns into something unbearable he will seek help. Comments like "cheer up, write a review, put a big smile on your face" will not help although I know we all have good intentions.

319Please415 reads

I am fine. Not depressed, not on the edge.

Thank you for the non-judgmental position. I should repeat something that is said, or should be said on this board more often: where else but the Bay do hobbyists get to interact with this kind of sex-positive "we are real human beings" group of providers? We should be thankful. I don't know that I would doing so otherwise.

319Please512 reads

I did post this on a bit of a whim, and had no idea what kind of reaction it might get, if any. But I didn't expect to be psychoanalyzed in such a detailed and bizarre way.

How you're pulling even going down the path to being a stalker out of this is tough to imagine. Do depressed criminals say "I'm sure it will fade"? (It already has.) I just thought I'd throw something out there. I suppose there is a little be of hopeless romantic in it, but I am not confused about the provider/hobbyist (hate both the words) relationship or in love with her. I just had a sense of, If this is the hottest woman I will ever bone, what does that mean? It seems to me that my post went though some kind of instant sensationalization filter to get to your reply. Likewise, just my opinion.

It's not that big a deal. I enjoyed contemplating the feeling, and wondered if anyone might want to read an expression of it. I'm interested prostitution and the emotions and behaviors around it.

Posted By: 319Please
Yesterday I got to see a provider who's as hot and accommodating as any woman I expect to ever be with. I'm only early forties -- but kind of feel like there's nowhere to go from here sexually. I'm sure it will fade, but it's a strange feeling of sexual sadness that I've never dealt with before.
It is called Post-coital tristesse (after sex sadness) It happens to women too but is more common in men than women.

 “From pleasure of the bed,
Dull as a worm,
His rod and its butting head
Limp as a worm,
His spirit that has fled
Blind as a worm.”
W.B. Yeats in “The Chambermaid’s Second Song"

Basically that happy giddy excited spirit that get you to bed has flown away  and gone together with your orgasm and semen and now you feel depressed.  

The scientific explanation is something to do with the hormone prolactin. It is a hormone women need to make milk but men also have it. Right after the orgasm it shoots sky high. When you have an intercourse it is even higher (about 400 percent) than it does after masturbation. Prolactin also works just like a thermostat to shut our desire, our appetites, to keep everything in control so that we don't go crazy 24/7 to satisfy them. So just like in Yeats' poem, you get dull as a worm and your spirit flees. The more satisfying the sex with a woman/men, the duller you get.

 


-- Modified on 1/27/2015 1:18:06 PM

Very informative! Since it's assumed that's it's the over release of a hormone, it should level out eventually. So the feeling is only temporary.

I'm having a hard time understanding this. And it's not that I don't believe it, because I do. I just don't understand it. Is it possible that it only happens to certain men and women, and not others. I can't ever remember a time, after coming down from sex, that I was sad. I think the term 'smile on my face' somewhat applies. It doesn't matter if it's in the civie world, or here on TER. The truth is, I don't really come down at all. The sweet highs linger with me for weeks on end. In fact, I can simply read an old review of mine, and it all comes rushing back. This may sound funny, but I have made several 'cloud nine' music cds for my after the session drive home. I'm literally in LaLa land thinking about the ecstasies that just transpired.  

On the other hand, when I found out, earlier this year, that one of my all time favorites was retiring, I was deeply saddened. Of course I was happy that she's found happiness, and is moving on. But sad at the prospect that I won't get to interact with her again, on more levels than sex. Interestingly, she has offered one, and only one, last session to her regular gentleman friends. Believe it or not, I'm hesitant. Since I've never been saddened after sex before, I'm not sure that's something I want to experience. But then, there are so many incredible memories of her, why not one more?

We are all different. We all go through different experiences.  
And yes, it happens to only some people.

319Please579 reads

I really appreciate the thoughtfulness of this. I think it's a factor; I was feeling this most strongly about thirty hours afterward, so this applies in a way, but it's not the feeling you get after you roll over.

I did think of this in physiological terms, kind of as an emotional effect that's a lot like the physiological one.

"Prolactin also works just like a thermostat to shut our desire, our appetites, to keep everything in control so that we don't go crazy 24/7 to satisfy them."

Ah, well. It's not working. I'm getting back to normal already.

Posted By: 319Please
I really appreciate the thoughtfulness of this. I think it's a factor; I was feeling this most strongly about thirty hours afterward, so this applies in a way, but it's not the feeling you get after you roll over.  
   
 I did think of this in physiological terms, kind of as an emotional effect that's a lot like the physiological one.  
   
 "Prolactin also works just like a thermostat to shut our desire, our appetites, to keep everything in control so that we don't go crazy 24/7 to satisfy them."  
   
 Ah, well. It's not working. I'm getting back to normal already.
So glad to hear that. :)))

catlover410 reads

If you're feeling sad after a good session with a provider most likely you suffer from low self-esteem and depression.

319Please434 reads

Much like getting a recommendation with the opposite taste in movies, your post has assured me that I'm just fine. Thanks for the concern, though!

Posted By: catlover
If you're feeling sad after a good session with a provider most likely you suffer from low self-esteem and depression.

Posted By: 319Please
Much like getting a recommendation with the opposite taste in movies, your post has assured me that I'm just fine. Thanks for the concern, though!  
   
Posted By: catlover
If you're feeling sad after a good session with a provider most likely you suffer from low self-esteem and depression.
Low self esteem? OH, Puh-leeze!  
Where is this all coming from? He has just expressed his honest feelings. He is a healthy man for doing so.  
Let's not exaggerate

It's fine to be positive and supportive like a lady trying to do hear, but this issue is fairly and consistently discuss and not directly judging someone. This is matter was brought by this particular gentleman attention to HIMSELF and try to obtain some feedback and majority of the responders were honest enough to be direct and offered, shared some insight of his experience, not exaggerating at all. No matter what kind of disorder or medical terms this is. He still needs to look at it closely and as I understand he mentioned some medications that he's been taking, that's not helping at all and that is another concern and citing that he hates the words hobbyist/providers, and interested on the prostitution emotional behaviors, I'm not parsing words here but those words that he hates are sacred to all of us and that really gives you pause. He keeps saying he's alright but.... you wonder....

Posted By: oargerela
It's fine to be positive and supportive like a lady trying to do hear, but this issue is fairly and consistently discuss and not directly judging someone. This is matter was brought by this particular gentleman attention to HIMSELF and try to obtain some feedback and majority of the responders were honest enough to be direct and offered, shared some insight of his experience, not exaggerating at all. No matter what kind of disorder or medical terms this is. He still needs to look at it closely and as I understand he mentioned some medications that he's been taking, that's not helping at all and that is another concern and citing that he hates the words hobbyist/providers, and interested on the prostitution emotional behaviors, I'm not parsing words here but those words that he hates are sacred to all of us and that really gives you pause. He keeps saying he's alright but.... you wonder....
He does not say he is taking medication. He quoted my sentence about prolactin. Prolactin is a hormone. Just please read the whole postings as well as his replies. :)

He brought attention to HIMSELF and seeking feedback, I admire someone had pointing out that there is a medical term for his feelings. But the rest of us, lay people, in this discussion forum, which we have no professional training in these matters, but through our freedom of expressions we have given some pointer on what to do with his post. I quote " a strange feeling of sexual sadness" all, except for one person have not judge, attack anybody. and BTW we are the one being judge,attack and ridiculed by being exaggerating, give me a break,

 

Posted By: Zayla
 
   
Posted By: oargerela
It's fine to be positive and supportive like a lady trying to do hear, but this issue is fairly and consistently discuss and not directly judging someone. This is matter was brought by this particular gentleman attention to HIMSELF and try to obtain some feedback and majority of the responders were honest enough to be direct and offered, shared some insight of his experience, not exaggerating at all. No matter what kind of disorder or medical terms this is. He still needs to look at it closely and as I understand he mentioned some medications that he's been taking, that's not helping at all and that is another concern and citing that he hates the words hobbyist/providers, and interested on the prostitution emotional behaviors, I'm not parsing words here but those words that he hates are sacred to all of us and that really gives you pause. He keeps saying he's alright but.... you wonder....
   
 He does not say he is taking medication. He quoted my sentence about prolactin. Prolactin is a hormone. Just please read the whole postings as well as his replies. :)

Sending love and good vibes to everybody. Everyone has good intentions.  
I wish everyone a heathy wonderful, fun life.  
XO

319Please590 reads

Posted By: Zayla
Sending love and good vibes to everybody. Everyone has good intentions.  
 I wish everyone a heathy wonderful, fun life.  
 XO
Right. Thank you to everyone for the concern. I am fine. I was just having a sense that being on cloud nine, maybe there's no such thing as cloud ten. That's all. Not taking medication, making plans to see another provider.

In responding to responses, I'm just asking responders to ask themselves what kind of assumptions they were putting on what I posted. I don't usually post to internet anything, so I was willing to talk it out. All done now.

Register Now!