I guess this is a PSA for screening. Depending on the person, any type of screening is going to come across as invasive to somebody. But I think thorough screening is really the safest route and maybe it would help if clients understood the why.
In almost 8 years, I have never been hurt or in trouble (and I have had friends who have been hurt -- and sadly, if they had screened hard, I don't think they would have been) so I don't miss the business I don't get from clients who would rather not be screened according to what would make me, personally, feel safe with them.
Sometimes, I get calls and emails saying -- this is your old friend (name) and you might remember me (some generic detail). I'm low-volume and I remember most clients BUT even I can forget. However, those are red flag calls. I definitely have not seen some of those guys. Boy, does that ever creep me out! Can you imagine? And it's so funny, I mean it's conceivable I saw more than one Jim in 8 years right? But those iffy calls -- I notice they never come through with the screening. Gives me shivers just thinking about their motivation. Maybe they just like calling escorts. Hope that's all it is.
One question I am asked is whether a 3rd party screening credential is enough -- like only white lists, only a Date Check ID, or only P411. So although I really appreciate those credentials as extra info, they're not enough, on their own. Think about it -- if you were in my position, would it be enough for you? I bet not 
Of course, there are always guys who have don't have the minimum 2 references. I don't see newbies but plenty of reputable indies do. So that's my stock advice -- go see them, review them, and please come back. This is going to come as a shocker to some: I check references and guess what -- sometimes they don't check out! It's rare, but I have received the feedback of "he's notorious for providing false references; I haven't seen him." I also ask for a physical description (including age) and sometimes THAT doesn't check out, either. It's rare -- but it's one reason why we check.
TER handle. That's another one I ask for. I don't know how a guy can say "I saw you on TER" and then say "I don't have a TER handle." I think everyone on TER has a username. I don't understand why someone would be reluctant to provide it. What do they think I would do with it, in a bad way? They have mine! If someone has board posts (not all do, I get that) and reviews (I would hope so), that's valuable info for me in preparing for the appt.
There are other things providers do to screen. Not meant to be a comprehensive list. But I think these are common ones. Any insights
Sounds like you are giving an opinion.
My insight is that you summed it up quite well. I can't pass any lady's screening ritual, I have no recent references, I have no way to be verified by an employer, and I do not belong to any verification site. Which you said aren't actually providing you with any information, minus a reference.
I don't mind providing my handle that I use on this site, if asked. My only concern is that information would be of no use to you or any other ladies. It is what it is, I can't lose any sleep over it.
Well, I guess I was both expressing an opinion and seeing what other people had to say about it. I like to know what other people think. I think it's great that you do provide your handle
I have had a few of these. All but one screened fine through other methods; they just lurk here to read posts. (In fact, one of my very favorite clients is one of these!) I have noticed that they tend to be married, so I'd guess they're keeping UTR by not having even a username for a spouse to find. As long as they can provide other information that lets me screen, I'm not overly worried. I actually get more concerned when someone DOES have a TER handle and no footprint at all - no reviews, no posts, nothing. Those often don't want to give me any other screening info.
Warmly,
*Maureen*
Because you have to know who you are dealing with. Providers that got locked in silver bracelets can confirm that you have to be careful.
-- Modified on 4/19/2015 10:18:44 AM
A TER handle with no footprint reads like an LE trick. And when I screen someone who says they saw my posts here but has no handle, it's VERY thorough or I don't see them. In my case I've only had one who didn't pass that; all others happily gave me everything I asked for (and more, sometimes!)
Warmly,
*Maureen*
Well, that makes sense. Hmm. Something to consider. Thanks!
I've provided my info to a number of independents, as requested. Get Ok'd then they flake for whatever reason. I have no idea, can speculate, but I can't say for sure why. Is it me, doubt it. I travel frequently and have no problems whatsoever with simple screening that is non-invasive, and doesn't require my work number, LinkedIn profile, company website, etc. I mean EASY screening. So, the end result is I don't see independents in the DC area.
So you don't remember me as a client, what good does that do me if you don't remember and are used as a reference? I send you an e-mail saying, "hey remember me, can you be my reference?". Seriously, do you remember ALL your clients? Remember a guy needs two, and what if one pans out but the other says I have no idea who or what you're talking about.
You do what you need to do for your personal safety, no arguing with that, but how much is too much?
If you're hurting for clients, you can blame your sister independents, especially visiting DC, who are flakes. NC/NS
Thanks for the insight. No, not hurting for clients, but just wondering why some ask for an appt but then balk at being screened. It seems strange to me. Just wondering if there is something I didn't know, from their POV, about screening, some reason for the reluctance
I had to learn the hard way the importance of screening. I started with no guidance or help and I didn't screen thoroughly because I didn't want to be too invasive. BAD THOUGHT PROCESS. Guys that contact me just have to understand my safety comes first.
Thanks, Lailah. I know what you mean -- it's a service industry, and we want to be client-focused but safety first, last and always. Appreciate your thoughts on this!
If they don't want to be screened then they get no appointment, simple.
