I'm sorry to hear that you've eliminated ALL indies due to some that have flaked on you. I guess it is easy to categorize, but we aren't ALL flakes 
Head Cheerleader for Team Indy (pun intended)
First the suggestion: TER should allow hobbyists to rate the 'Reliability' as well as the 'Appearance' & 'Performance' of the provider. For example a provider may be a 9 in Appearance and a 9 in Performance but a 4 in Reliability. This would help us make wise decisions.
The Vent:
I'm in DC on business.
For the second time, I've set a date - day or days in advance- with well reviewed, seemingly reputable women who have flaked.
I set the appointment through p411 (10 OKs, current and respectabke professionals). Followed with polite emails/ text to confirm the day prior...
For a noon appointment at my upscale hotel, I received a text at 11:36 saying, 'I'm sorry but I have class today and (can't make it)"
For a 9 pm appointment Saturday, I received a text at 10pm saying, ' I apologize but I completely forgot to check my (calendar)'
The sincere question:
Why would women who wish to attract clients who are professionals ( can afford luxuries, polite, have leisure time, etc) act so unprofessionally? I run a business and have clients. I would lose my clients (or, worse, attract clients that I don't want ) if I behaved this way.
Men, at a certain professional level of income/responsibility/education, live by their word. We only make promises we know we will keep. We arrive at appointments/meetings a bit early. We communicate with care. We know that we won't retain our income/respect/reputation/ good clients if we don't. We earn the clients we deserve.
I'm baffled by women who seem to want professional clients; then, behave in ways that will actively earn unprofessional / undesirable clients.
-- Modified on 3/30/2015 10:44:13 AM
Can't say that is the case for all the ladies in this area, but it does happen. This is not a static business, so there can be no comparison to what business practices are acceptable and which are not, it just is what it is sometimes. Not all ladies appreciate what the hobby is and it comes out in the most disrespectful ways, but please by no means, take it personally. Consider it a bullet dodged and money saved!
As far as reviews, most of the non VIP content will reveal what her reliabilty is like. But no shows and cancellations can't be reveiwed, so tough luck there. Always a good idea to ask the guys in the area you are visiting who to see or avoid to not waste your time booking with a flake. See who is around and who interests you and go from there.
Hope the rest of your stay in DC gets better. There are some great ladies here and we do work hard to make you guys happy.
-- Modified on 3/30/2015 1:28:25 PM
Last minute cancelations don't bother me at all. To me, if she cancels at the last minute means something came up that if she went thru with the date, you would get a "so-so" date which neither of you would enjoy. Take that as "money well NOT spent".
As for the excuses, some ladies like to keep their personal life "Private" and for that reason you will most likely not get the real reason / excuse. I applaud you that you "never" missed a appointment with your clients. You live in the perfect world unlike the rest of us.
Since you are here on business and I take it you are on a tight schedule that doesnt allow you the opportunity for a "make-up" date. What a shame, for "make-up" dates are usually the best. Sorry to hear that your dates didnt work out, wish you better luck next time.
Your generalization of all men and all women is so far from fact.
I know plenty of rich men who treat their lucrative job as a joke. I also know plenty of middle of the spectrum men who treat their minimal job as their priority. Same for women.
While it's frustrating that this happened, believe me ...it's not as "men play fair, women don't" as you make it out to be.
Xo
I did mistakenly frame my point as an apparent difference in behavior between men and women.
I should have more clearly stated that: ' Professional Men and Professional Women' earn the clients they deserve. Men and Women who behave unprofessionally will, inevitably, attract clients who behave unprofessionally. Having bad clients is worse than having no clients (This is a premise taught at Harvard Business School)
My use of ' Men' was an acknowledgement that, in this business, Men are typically in the role of client for this transaction.
Thank yo
if we could all step back and realize that neither the man nor the woman is more valuable in this type of transaction, we both need each other ...this would be so much more fun, for all of us.
xoxo
Set an appointment through p411 with a well reviewed visiting girl several days ahead. Reconfirmed the day of. I was downtown, she was in Tysons, and new I was traveling out there after a meeting for a 3pm. At 2:45 she texts to cancel. She knew I was already on the road out to the burbs. Frustrating. I agree with the other post that, if she truly had an emergency, it would have been a terrible date. But how do I know she didn't just get a better offer, or had a brain fart and forgot to get ready?
Were other guys in the area notified that you got cancelled last minute? You can't review it, it just happens and of the appointments the lady was able to make she was great- her reviews say so. No one wants to speak up and the cycle continues. 200 reviews or 2 reviews don't tell the whole story. Research and BC. P411 is a verification site that serves as an ad venue, at least through TER you have the community to give you some real time feedback of what you might get. If that's not what you want to do prior to choosing a provider, especially in an area you are unfamiliar with, then you and the OP enjoy the hobby the way you play it.
Please forgive me, as I am not meaning to sound bitchy, or to project onto your post but I try my damnest to not schedule or take an appointment I can't make. Other ladies I personally spend time with, visiting and local, feel the same way. We respect our clients and their time and the hard earned money they spend. We appreciate everyone we entertain and when we get rescheduled, cancelled or NCNS last minute we get no recourse. And WE screen. Such is the business but I don't like generalizations or bad pictures painted when the whole story isn't clear or well told.
-- Modified on 3/30/2015 8:38:59 PM
...experience. You could be descriptive in your prose that her BCD "Performance" was a "9", but her track record of "Reliability" brought her score down to "8" or "7". Of course, we should have reliability ratings as well. Not sure where the ladies would pick that up...the references I guess.
Not sure how the change in adding reliability would affect previous ratings.
Ive had to cancel entire hotel bookings and outcalls for various life reasons (monthly, kidney issue, roommates car accident, google calendar fail on user end... Fatigue) and I'm sure I would get an admirable 8 score.
Recursively, I've booked appointments with clients, male, female, couples, and they flaked or backed out last minute even after screening and addresses.
It's a part of life.
Great point
Both good clients and good providers need to find each other in any market. Things go badly when good sellers find bad buyers and vice versa. This is true in any business - real estate, airplanes, education, healthcare...every business
It isn't sexy, but it is a principle taught at top business schools. The goal should be help clients and providers obtain what they deserve - deserve based on quality, integrity, value.
Ideally, Providers should be able to determine who is qualified to be their client Clients reputations should be transparent to those who might choose them
a meeting didn't take place (e. g. NCNS) then a review can't be submitted. Since few of us would waste our time or money to go back to a NCNS just to be able to post a low reliability score, then by definition ALL reviews are the result of successfully getting together for an appointment. Easy enough to comment on how easy or difficult it might have been to make the meeting happen in the write-up, but you completely miss the meetings that failed to happen for whatever reason. And if you tried to set up a NCNS reporting system, don't know hoe you'd prevent abuse by competitors. But I understand the frustration.
But it is impossible to do that .
If the person flaked, then there is no meeting; so no review; so no commenting in the review.
It would be best to simply be able to post a ' no show' if a provider flaked
This would allow TER to show an aggregate no show rate to prospective clients.
I'd advocate a similar reporting for clients who flake. Providers should avoid people who flake and vice vers
It could be done simply
TER members could report a 'no show'
The aggrgate number of no shows per month correlated to Low ( more than 4 no shows), Medium (less than 2) , or High (less than 1).
This would be reported with the provider's profile.
For Example:
Jane Doe: Appearance 8
Performance 9
Reliability Low
This would indicate a very attractive person, with excellent skills, who may flake .
It would be great if providers could see similar data on client
I understand your frustration. A few weeks ago I set up an appointment with a well-reviewed provider and arrived at the appointed time and place. The provider said she'd be ready in 10 minutes. 10 turned into 20, and as 20 was about to turn into a half-hour people began noticing me sitting in my car in a hotel parking lot after dark. I left. As soon as I got on the interstate the provider called me. I told her what happened and that she'd promised she'd be ready in 10 minutes. She began berating me and I hung up.
I understand scheduling issues and emergencies can legitimately come up, but it seems to me somebody in that situation could apologize and offer to reschedule. I've lost count of how many provider ads I've seen reminding potential customers not to waste their time. Isn't the customer's time valuable as well?
I hope TER can come up with a way to address this issue.
Well known visiting providers have flaked every single time. I'm not kidding. I jumped through some hoops once thinking that might be it, nope, cancelled with no alternative time or day given.
Thought it was just me, but when I travel, no problem Easy, simple, punctual. So I only date indy's when I'm not in DC. I've learned to stick to agencies in this town. As its mutual, they respect you, and you respect them, the whole thing is easy and simple and same day is not an issue.
I'm sorry to hear that you've eliminated ALL indies due to some that have flaked on you. I guess it is easy to categorize, but we aren't ALL flakes
DC is actually one of my favorite/regular tour locations. This particularr winter has been filled with flakes on the man's end, but I think it is sort of the name of the game. Sooner or later it will happen to us all, because, well...life happens.
Maybe you will try an indy again! **bats eyelashes
Love,
Head Cheerleader for Team Indy (pun intended)
Why Ms. Keilani911.....dost thou have dirty knees?
ROFLMAO!!!
Sorry, couldn't resist.
Since they have what is always in demand, and men continue to be willing to pay for it, the providers can get away with most anything. If they are called out for their "unprofessional" behavior, there are always enough white knights around to shield her.
I believe that about sums it up.
I believe that about sums it up.
Many things in life don't go as planned, that's just the shitty reality. I've been on the giving and receiving end of it.
White knights, sure, some people are always trying to help others out. There are just as many Debbie-downers who try to speak ill of others.
**As for providers "getting away with stuff" ...I would argue men try to get away with stuff all the time! ha, most hobbyists "get away" with infidelity and having secret lives... if you want to start the tit for tat business. Let's not go there :
The OP asked the sincere question about why providers would act unprofessional when their business is customer service oriented. I was responding part in jest, and part from experience to his question only.
I understand there is an ugly side of this where guys to bad things to some of you women here. I am not one of those guys, but you will believe what you will.
I do not wish to go "tit for tat" with you either, so I will apologize to you now if I have in some way offended you by my remarks.
No worries, I'm just a chatter box. Not offended at all. I was just sayin'.
Hard to interpret tone in writing, but I'm glad you don't have some sort of grudge against women. some people do!
haha I have learned to see things as blessings in disguise as well!!!
Life has a way of dealing some really effed up last minute scenarios at times.
Gotta roll with it
I have been on both sides of the equation as I've had to cancel at the last minute and I've been cancelled on and had ladies NCNS on me.
For men, what exascerbates this is we were dead set on and looking very forward to satisfying our primal needs much like needing/wanting to eat. When the food is not delivered we are pissed as hell. What comes to mind is that snickers commercial..."you're not yourself when you're hungry..."
Hence, when a client experiences a NCNS or cancellation we come on TER and make posts such as this one. I've trained myself to expect anything the day of and/or 30mins before the appointment. If a NCNS or Cancellation happens, I simply say to myself..."keep it moving;" "next;" hit the boards and go to excort malls and find the next candidate and not to mention my ATFs and "go to" lists where I can schedule appointments on relatively short notice.
So train yourself to not allow your dick to tell your mind to come an TER and post a pisstivity thread cause you just experienced a NCNS or Cancellation. The hobby world does not have training institutes; seminars; certifications; cerifying boards; hobby colleges and universties; etc, etc.
Hence, you can expect any and all "unprofessional" experiences in the hobby. Simply get comfortable with telling yourself "next;" keep it moving;" and what ever catch phrase that is best for your motivation.
...underessed to tell me that she had just gotten her period. This happened to me locally a few years ago, and she was a very well reviewed provider. After experiencing that, I consider all late cancellations a blessing in disguise.