Congratulations, Trickier Dick,

The state of addiction can only be conquered if it is experienced as such by the subject himself/herself. For you, it started feeling like "a lot of money" - even if you were making lots of it.

As to missing the fun, how about trying to construct a productive sexual life outside the hobby? Or was it all about the "trimmings" around the activity? For true addicts, it's about the dopamine imbalance in the brain, the highs and lows of "scoring," no matter what the substance may be, even sex....and of course the fleeting "kick" that relieves the withdrawals.

I hope that you still have an enjoyable and constructive sex life. Not everyone is cut out for a sexual relationship with one person only, but those who can handle it and who find a responsive partner, do report satisfaction and significant happiness with ensuing intimacy.

Good luck to you,
the Love Goddess

Re: Money, addiction, cold turkey

TD mentions having hobbied for 15 years.  This is my rookie season, so, being pretty much at the beginning of the journey and someone who also has economic freedom, my decision to hobby was based on some specific criteria:

Could and would I do it in moderation, in other words, am I financially and emotionally stable to do so?

Could I adhere to a budget on the year and not break that ceiling?

Could I do it without touching primary income that covers my overhead, and fund activities solely from assets like commissions, dividends, bonuses, etc?

These were and are my own boundaries.  If I couldn't answer yes to all the above, I couldn't do it.

It's about the pleasure in the moment and not an addiction for me (Thank God).

Good for you though Trickier Dick.  Addiction of any kind is tough to beat.

I am like you and no longer active- only did it for a short time.  As far as the money goes- in my civi world of dating I usually spend 140-200 on each date.  And who knows if you are going to get sex or not with a civi date? So really it was pretty much a wash when I look at it. But now that I have a SO- I don't spend that kind of coin and our dates have gotten much cheaper. I guess what helps is I am truly a one woman type guy.  

But yes- it is a very addicting hobby- there was a few times I felt like I shouldn't spend the money but I did anyway.  Good thing I have never been into drugs or alcohol like the way I am into women.  

I would hobby more if I could afford it. It's a damn expensive hobby! I figure that a lot more guys would participate if rates were lower. Does this mean that hobbyists are mainly guys who make good money?

With the money I spent I could have paid cash for a lexus or bmw, but I guess the old chevy will do because I know I'm addicted.

I love the idea that these wonderful women get our bucks for doing what they do. Think of what they have to put up with from the outside and from their own internal stuff. I dig the idea that some little girl gets a middle class life for being able to entertain and to be honest, fuck well. What a better way to spend your money.
If you have so much, you should enjoy.

At one time (okay, maybe more than one time) I was probably addicted.  Every couple of months, I'd take a trip out of town, catch a movie or a play, play the ponies, and meet up with a provider or two.  The walk on the wilder, darker, not-so-well-condoned side was quite the ongooing adventure.

This was about 15-16 years ago, too, when my discretionary income was a little higher.  But reality tends to douse the urges as fast and as surely as an ice-cold shower.

Now, I'm almost broke and living in a smaller, more conservative town.  It's not due to the hobby, no; it's because I was laid off from a relatively comfortable, middle-income job, thanks to the greed of my bosses and Bush's tax incentives to send jobs overseas.  

If I were in a bigger city and in a better position financially, I probably would pursue the hobby more than once or twice a year (which is all I do now); not much more, I don't think, but more.  It would hardly rank up there with James Bond or James T. Kirk but I think it'd be enough to keep the weird grin on my face.

How much of your income are you spending in this hobby?  If you're financially secure, maybe 1-2% of your annual earnings feelerys v OK. But if you're not well to do, and you're spending a quarter of your income, and your family is hurting...

Do you feel guilty, or happy?

Is the hobby broadening your view of life, or narrowing it?

When in the hobby, are you enjoying other activities more, or less?

Are you gaining any degree of friendships/human relationships through the hobby, or just fleeting physical pleasures? (Do you enjoy talking to providers, or just screwing them?)

Do you read other things besides TER discussion boards?

If you have a SO, do you think your relationship with her is enhanced or hurt by your hobby?

Are you ever able to talk to anyone else comfortably about your hobby?

Basically, does your hobbying make you happy or sad?  Can you afford it, or not?  On your dying day, will you feel happy you did this, or not?

Only you know. Maybe there is no right or wrong answer.

This is a expensive hobby, but so is golf. A round of golf with cart lunch the 19th hole is about a $200 day. So for a few more bucks I can get a beautiful young lady and go home sober with a smile on my face. By the way ladies would you give me a mulligan.

yeah, you have every right to feel that relief! it's a tough one to break. congrats! the only regrets or guilts i get from this hobby is the financial side of it. i've never spent more than $500 in a night on a few occassions, but typically spend about $300 or so and wake up feeling so much guilt and regret that i did that.