Made me think of one the best bbbjs I've ever had in my life. The provider was missing a few key teeth.
She wasn't very pretty when she smiled, but who cared when she went down on you. Speaking of which, here's a joke for you Z.
-A Trip To The Doctors-
An 85-year-old man went to his doctors to get a sperm count.
The doctor gave him a jar to take home and said, "Bring back a semen sample tomorrow."
The next day, the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's surgery and gave him the jar, which was totally empty.
The doctor asked what had happened and the man explained, "Well doc, it's like this. First, I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, still nothing."
"Then I asked the wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then her left. She tried with her mouth, first with her teeth in, then with her teeth out, and still nothing."
"We even asked Mary, the little old lady living next door. She tried, first with both hands, then an armpit. She even tried squeezing it between her knees, but still nothing."
The doctor was totally shocked! "You asked your neighbour to help?"
The old man replied, "Oh yes, but no matter what we tried, we still
couldn't get the bloody jar open!
That was pretty good...here's another.
The Waiter And The Spoon
A man entered a restaurant and sat at the only open table. As he sat down, he knocked the spoon off the table with his elbow. A nearby waiter reached into his shirt pocket, pulled out a clean spoon and set it on the table.
The diner was impressed. "Do all the waiters carry spoons in their pockets?" The waiter replied, "Yes. Ever since we had that efficiency expert out, he determined that 17.8% of our diners knock the spoon off the table. By carrying clean spoons with us, we save trips to the kitchen."
The diner ate his meal. As he was paying the waiter, he commented, "Forgive the intrusion, but do you know that you have a string hanging from your fly?"
The waiter replied, "Yes, we all do. Seems that the same efficiency expert determined that we spend too much time washing our hands after using the men's room. So, the other end of that string is tied to my penis. When I need to go, I simply pull the string to get my penis out, go, and return to work. Since I don't actually touch myself, there's no need to wash my hands. Saves a lot of time."
"Wait a minute," said the diner. "How do you get your penis back in your pants???" "Well, I don't know about the other guys, but I use the spoon!!!"
Made me think of one the best bbbjs I've ever had in my life. The provider was missing a few key teeth.
She wasn't very pretty when she smiled, but who cared when she went down on you. Speaking of which, here's a joke for you Z.
Little Johnny was sitting in class doing math problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question, "Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun, how many would be left?" "None," replied Johnny, "cause the rest would fly away." "Well, the answer is four," said the teacher, "but I like the way you're thinking."
Little Johnny says, "I have a question for you. If there were three women eating ice cream cones in a shop, one was licking her cone, the second was biting her cone and the third was sucking her cone, which one is married?"
"Well," said the teacher nervously, "I guess the one sucking the cone."
"No," said Little Johnny, "the one with the wedding ring on her finger, but I like the way you're thinking."
This is so funny and so clever at the same time.
Thank you.
xoxoxo
I once talked someone into saying that joke at a very formal business meeting. You should have seen the looks on peoples faces. My friend never forgave me for that one. It was priceless. I hadn't thought about that one in a long time. Thanks for bringing back the memory.