If you enjoy each others company, that's great. Speaking from my experience with a couple of providers, I make sure that I understand that the relationship can end any time, so don't expect too much, and that as long as she is in the business she is not my girlfriend -- meaning, just a friend. Also, although we spend time together off the clock -- including dinner, shopping, vacation trips and overnights at my house -- I never ask for free sex. That is how she makes a living, so I always pay for the hour.
However, if she is not willing to keep company outside the bedroom and off the clock, it's not real
Met with a provider last night, and had such a great time I just had to see more of her, so quickly scheduled a follow up for later the same night. I think I spent more time just being mesmerized by her than anything. We spent most of the time chatting and goofing around, I kept trying to tell myself "it's not real" but man I felt like there was a "click" . How do you guys keep yourself in reality? I plan to see her again next visit if our timing aligns. I don't want to make things akward, as it was probably my best date since my High school girlfriend LOL.
1. I recall the reason I started to hobby: NSA sex.
2. I recall hundreds of stories posted on TER about how a hobbiest fell for a provider and only have broken heart and empty wallet to show for.
3. I ask myself, "Would she fuck me for free?"
Keep the business as business. There are probably some rare rare exceptions, but not for me.
tru dat! as the man says.
just look around when you're at the mall. or out in public. Pick a woman who is older than you and that you are NOT attracted to at all. Ask yourself if you'd have sex with her if she paid you. You'll have your answer.
Yes, sometimes you do just click, and it's genuine and AMAZING! But the mindset to have is that this is a fling; it's just about having fun and indulging in the best of each other. The end.
To give you another perspective, have you ever just hit it off with someone as a friend, say at a party or while traveling? In the moment you're thinking "we could be best friends for life," and then nothing further comes of it (either due to physical distance, or you see them a couple times and the feelings fade). This is generally the same thing - be present and enjoy the connection for what it is, not for how far your imagination can carry you.
I kind of share OP's concerns about staying grounded...then I start to think, if I have to work so hard at staying grounded...what's the point of doing it, really? It is kind of a dilemma, and it prevents me from being more active.
I guess I need like a 'hobby coach' or something
it wasn't a bad experience. you got your money's worth.
I can ALWAYS tell the reality of the time spent with a provider. Sooner or later it comes out.
Almost all of us have let ourselves believe there was something special there at least once. Some guys do it perpetually. I have never thought she was in love but a few times I have let myself believe that a real personal bond was formed and, more often that not, the reality i was not grounded in made itself clear.
If you find the answer let us all know. But maybe you need to be burned a few times before you really catch on.
ote]
with my first provider. it was not that I fell for her (that would never happen to me) but i thought she was having at least having a good time and we were compatible. it was all an act. when it finally crashed and burned she told me how she REALLY felt.
this is why I dont get the stories of OTC time and friendships I read about so often. It seems guys are purposely looking for it.wtf??
If you find the answer let us all know. But maybe you need to be burned a few times before you really catch on.
ote]
Actually, that is the second best way.
The best is just to be very clear-headed regarding this hobby and what it is, and what it is not.
If you enjoy each others company, that's great. Speaking from my experience with a couple of providers, I make sure that I understand that the relationship can end any time, so don't expect too much, and that as long as she is in the business she is not my girlfriend -- meaning, just a friend. Also, although we spend time together off the clock -- including dinner, shopping, vacation trips and overnights at my house -- I never ask for free sex. That is how she makes a living, so I always pay for the hour.
However, if she is not willing to keep company outside the bedroom and off the clock, it's not real
Read all of her reviews. What she is doing with/for/to you, she is doing with/for/to every slob that comes along.
Also, be clear. You're not buying love here. You are buying attention. There is a big, big difference.
good advice, i had had the same issue with a young, Russian lady who drove me crazy in bed...
then I had to read all the reviews and i woke up from the dream...
its all about the benjamins...
Always let her take the lead in the direction of the relationship
William Faulkner met a book club. A woman read a beautiful passage he had written and then asked, breathlessly, "What were you thinking of when you wrote that, Mr. Faulkner?"
His answer: Money
I think if we ask a lady what she was thinking of as she batted her eyes, bit her lip, and did all the other things, and she answered truthfully, she would say: Money.
It could happen to anyone.... to fall in love and establish a serious relationship... and happy ever aftershit. Never say "that won't happen to me". Life has a funny way of proving us wrong. You need to understand regardless that she would have to work (unless you take care of that part too)
Endorphins and oxytocin are tricky and misleading little devils. They can make something feel real that isn't. But then, they're so much fun. It's worth it. As long as you have your head on straight and you know what you're about. I thought the advice in this thread was excellent, and esp., if you start crushing on someone, just see someone else, ASAP. That takes care of it.
-- Modified on 1/19/2015 11:31:59 PM