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Re: References, references, referencesangry_smile
oargerela 110 Reviews 334 reads
posted

If this guy is registered in P411 and uses P411 to Request Appointments, he has an existing and current profile records that can be copied, recorded and can be used as precautionary and warning information or even track and share among the ladies to watch up for, doesn't matter if he's from out of this country.

YourDillan1458 reads

I saw this guy the other day and made my boundaries clear to him over email.  I even said "sometimes I like _______ and sometimes I don't.  Are you okay with that?"  He replied "yes that's great etc."  Then he came to see me.  He was very sarcastic and I felt I could say nothing right, very hard to connect to for me.  Then the "fun" started.  Well he got on top of me and basically "forced" me to do this thing for ~20 minutes that he had agreed to being ymmv in the email.  I felt I had to say "this is too much of this to me" because he was on top of me and he was a big guy.  Then he wanted to do these other things and a few of them were beyond my preferences and actually were feeling painful and I had to say "I don't enjoy that."  It was awkward.  Then he wrote a review here putting me down and of course not including the email exchange we had where he said he was just dandy with a ymmv thing.  If something hurts or is painful is it my job to lay there and endure something painful or uncomfortable?  I mean would he be willing to do that?  Shouldn't this be about enjoyment for both parties.  I'm sad about it today.

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Mr. Tripod465 reads

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Zayla1035 reads

That is not cool. I wish you had terminated the session.  
His information should be send to the ladies for everyone's safety.  
That is so upsetting.  

Hugs and stay safe please.
Zayla

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Omnium400 reads

Dillan -

I am so sorry to hear of your bad experience.  I have had the pleasure of visiting you, and I know that you are a kind and caring person. It is never acceptable to be disrespectful toward another and, knowing what a nice person you are, it is particularly distressing to hear that someone was unwilling to treat you with respect. I suspect that it may not be easy to get over an experience like this, and I truly hope that you will be okay.

Take care.

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YourDillan530 reads

I want to warn others about him, where can I do that?

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Skyfyre460 reads

I have no idea if it is permitted on this site (many others do) so if it is why not just out his handle right here as a first step.

Sorry to hear about your bad experience.

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YourDillan508 reads

His handle is decanter01

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Zayla392 reads

Thank you Dillan.  

And a big thanks to TER for allowing her post his handle.

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kenny_starr504 reads

Posted By: YourDillan
I want to warn others about him, where can I do that?
sorry to hear about the bad client.  hearing about that makes me sad/angry since I've met you in person.

There is a providers only forum here.  Maybe try that?

Also, did he provide any references?  maybe follow up with them?  Not sure if they will do anything but at least you can let them know.

-- Modified on 11/6/2014 6:04:08 PM

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Chauncey Gardner414 reads

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YourDillan395 reads

Thanks deary.  I just want to make it clear he didn't assault me.  He pushed my boundaries and when I wouldn't do what he wanted I think he tried to hurt my business.:(  If every client was as pushy and unpleasant you can bet I'd be out of this business.  I love to be a genuine open hearted and present woman to clients and I'm glad there are guys who actually want that and don't want someone who just pretends that things feel good when they don't. Why would you want to do something to a provider that she didn't enjoy?  Wouldn't you want her to genuinely enjoy it? :(  This is making me think about how i should approach this business and what I offer in the future so that's a good thing...:)

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LONGFELLA4YOU361 reads

Perhaps it might be best to only offer certain things to your established client base.  

Posted By: YourDillan
Thanks deary.  I just want to make it clear he didn't assault me.  He pushed my boundaries and when I wouldn't do what he wanted I think he tried to hurt my business.:(  If every client was as pushy and unpleasant you can bet I'd be out of this business.  I love to be a genuine open hearted and present woman to clients and I'm glad there are guys who actually want that and don't want someone who just pretends that things feel good when they don't. Why would you want to do something to a provider that she didn't enjoy?  Wouldn't you want her to genuinely enjoy it? :(  This is making me think about how i should approach this business and what I offer in the future so that's a good thing...:)

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oargerela503 reads

It makes me sad too, as hobbyist I don't understand who gave this guy references. IMHO Two consenting adult = menu, ymmv and boundaries must be respected, the sarcasm should have been a red flag and forceful act is a termination of a date. Bye see yah

Posted By: YourDillan
I saw this guy the other day and made my boundaries clear to him over email.  I even said "sometimes I like _______ and sometimes I don't.  Are you okay with that?"  He replied "yes that's great etc."  Then he came to see me.  He was very sarcastic and I felt I could say nothing right, very hard to connect to for me.  Then the "fun" started.  Well he got on top of me and basically "forced" me to do this thing for ~20 minutes that he had agreed to being ymmv in the email.  I felt I had to say "this is too much of this to me" because he was on top of me and he was a big guy.  Then he wanted to do these other things and a few of them were beyond my preferences and actually were feeling painful and I had to say "I don't enjoy that."  It was awkward.  Then he wrote a review here putting me down and of course not including the email exchange we had where he said he was just dandy with a ymmv thing.  If something hurts or is painful is it my job to lay there and endure something painful or uncomfortable?  I mean would he be willing to do that?  Shouldn't this be about enjoyment for both parties.  I'm sad about it today.

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kenny_starr356 reads

Posted By: oargerela
It makes me sad too, as hobbyist I don't understand who gave this guy references. IMHO Two consenting adult = menu, ymmv and boundaries must be respected, the sarcasm should have been a red flag and forceful act is a termination of a date. Bye see yah  
   
Review says he checked her out on p411.  So maybe he contacted her through p411 and didn't provide references in the traditional method.

The review also says he is from out of town.  So maybe Dillan contacted the references and they gave her the ok, but he figures, "well, I'm from out of town and I probably won't see her again, so lets see if I can push the boundaries." or some crap like that. Or maybe he "forgot" the limits and what was previously discussed, or got caught in the moment.  I don't know but I don't want to sound like I'm defending him either

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oargerela335 reads

If this guy is registered in P411 and uses P411 to Request Appointments, he has an existing and current profile records that can be copied, recorded and can be used as precautionary and warning information or even track and share among the ladies to watch up for, doesn't matter if he's from out of this country.

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DJ1985415 reads

No one should be expected to do anything they aren't comfortable with. He was wrong to push your boundaries and you should have ended the session immediately if he continued to do so after you warned him, if you felt you could do it safely.
 It sounds like you are a very loved person from the responses to this thread and the one positive thing I would like to add is that it is not a terrible review and you shouldn't worry about it hurting your business. If a few more guys write you good reviews anything negative in it will mean less.  
 If you keep doing what you love and keep your level of service high, life will be good and this too shall soon pass.

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Will.Shake.Spear454 reads

Sorry you had to go through this. Sounds like a bad guy who needs to be blacklisted.

I think there is also an issue here with the whole concept of YMMV. I think clients are good with it abstractly because it just means someone else doesn't get something. However, when it means you don't get something then it's at best a disappointment and at worst a real blow to the ego.  

How about describing whatever you are on the fence about as "established clients only." If you decided to provide it on the first date than the client feels really special. If you decide not to do it on the third date because "established means 5 dates" (or whatever) then there may be a little disappointment but it's much harder to take personally

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DamienScott391 reads

Why would you discuss 'do's and don'ts' for the record? Arent you concerned with it being held against you?  

Posted By: YourDillan
I saw this guy the other day and made my boundaries clear to him over email.  I even said "sometimes I like _______ and sometimes I don't.  Are you okay with that?"  He replied "yes that's great etc."  Then he came to see me.  He was very sarcastic and I felt I could say nothing right, very hard to connect to for me.  Then the "fun" started.  Well he got on top of me and basically "forced" me to do this thing for ~20 minutes that he had agreed to being ymmv in the email.  I felt I had to say "this is too much of this to me" because he was on top of me and he was a big guy.  Then he wanted to do these other things and a few of them were beyond my preferences and actually were feeling painful and I had to say "I don't enjoy that."  It was awkward.  Then he wrote a review here putting me down and of course not including the email exchange we had where he said he was just dandy with a ymmv thing.  If something hurts or is painful is it my job to lay there and endure something painful or uncomfortable?  I mean would he be willing to do that?  Shouldn't this be about enjoyment for both parties.  I'm sad about it today.

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