The Urban Dictionary defines a FB as "A sex partner to whom you have no special attachment. A person you occasionally have sex with who is not your S.O."
Sex seems to be a package deal. It can start out as FB until feelings and emotions begin to invade. This is understandable since sex is an intimate experience. Some hobbyers have been caught up in their feelings for their providers. Even if one succeeds in locating a FB, I don't believe it's a dynamic that can be sustained for longa FB for lack of a better term.
I have yet to find this after more than 5 years.
I wonder if hobbyists or escorts know or really, define, the difference between that and a romantic relationship, platonic friendship, or business transaction the same way. Motivations in the hobby seem to be easily misunderstood.
So are your expectations being met in this regard?
-- Modified on 11/30/2014 11:09:25 AM
The Urban Dictionary defines a FB as "A sex partner to whom you have no special attachment. A person you occasionally have sex with who is not your S.O."
Sex seems to be a package deal. It can start out as FB until feelings and emotions begin to invade. This is understandable since sex is an intimate experience. Some hobbyers have been caught up in their feelings for their providers. Even if one succeeds in locating a FB, I don't believe it's a dynamic that can be sustained for long
"feelings" or what happens if emotions get in the way can and does happen in civvie life too.
Sex seems to be a package deal. It can start out as FB until feelings and emotions begin to invade. This is understandable since sex is an intimate experience. Some hobbyers have been caught up in their feelings for their providers. Even if one succeeds in locating a FB, I don't believe it's a dynamic that can be sustained for long.
I've had FB relationships that have lasted for years, the longest about 8 years. Funny a friend of mine "stole" her from me. Even funnier that friend was a woman, I had no idea that my FB even played for the "other team"
The joke was on her though. While I had an FB with no strings attached, no calls that she was late on her rent, no crying on my shoulder when her cat died, none of the usual stuff that goes on between a man and a woman when they start having sex. We simply hooked up every couple of months for sex. It was great. When my friend "stole" her from me she got herself a 100% clingy, needy girlfriend, complete with all the baggage that goes along with it. Serves the bitch right IMO. lol
I havent had a fuck buddy for a LONG time. I dont know if its changes in morals or simply the economy or how the majority of men are behaving these days, but it seems like all the women I meet of any age are only interested in stability and commitment. Not necessarily marriage, but not an open relationship either.
One night stands are still possible, so hitting the bars and clubs is not a waste of time. But finding a regular sex partner isnt common anymore.
As for hobbyists and escorts: Its a business. You are paying for it. That is not an open relationship or a fuck buddy. Its the worlds oldest profession. There are rules and expectations.
And I think you might be asking for way too much if you expect an escort to stop making money and service you for free. Thats not why she does what she does. IF fuck buddies are to be found in this day and age, they are probably college girls with rich parents or perhaps single moms who dont want a father for their kids. (My last fuck buddy).
for free.
how long did your "arrangment last"? i had one or two 20 years ago in the civvie world. both only lasted less than six months.
the thing is it seems this hobby would make it easier to extend this situation since the business part of it still satisfies the relationship
I lived in Oregon from late 2006 thru early 2008. Girls up there are a lot more open about this stuff.
I had that single mom for about 8 months. It was great. But its definitely not the kind of thing which goes on for very long.
I think sooner or later two people would either wanna settle down for a serious relationship, or look elsewhere for a serious relationship.
the good thing is a fuck buddy keeps you from getting desperate while you play the dating game, or just decide to stop dating for a little while and focus on yourself or your career.
That is what I would assume, because this term doesn't make sense within the hobby - unless you are just talking about having a regular provider who you get along with well and who seems to enjoy the time spent with you too. I'd say the majority of ladies that I've met have fallen into this category - fun ladies to play with, chat to, fully present, seemingly well-adjusted. It's definitely not as fun to be with more mechanical ladies.
So I'd say yes, my expectations for the HOBBY are fully being met. But then again, I know that this fun little game isn't designed to fulfill the things I want long term - like a committed relationship with a great woman.
What is it that you want out of this hobby? And is it possible that you not happy with it because you are hoping for things that this hobby will never provide?
situation but with a provider instead of a civvie. I'm talking about just the sex part not all the other stuff. I wonder if it even possible that's why I asked.
I dont have high expectations as the normal client/ escort dynamic is pretty well established. I know the drill so to speak. so mine are met for the most part but have not been able to with the same person.
I believe that the idea of having a FB is another manifestation of the human desire to obtain something for nothing. This is the foundation upon which the con artist plies his trade. It is also why gambling is such a huge industry. The casinos and the cons profit from our illusions.
The posts I read here imply that this sort of thing doesn't last long, but 8 years is not bad. Who wouldn't want a hot FB or a million dollars?