I don't think it's unreasonable for this girl to ask for reference, even if you are registered with RoomService.  If it makes her more comfortable, your time together will most likely be more enjoyable.  Also, I personally never mind if a client asks me to be a reference.

I use date check for the same reason as you but
I had a simular situation where the lady wanted references and wouldn't use my date check info.

Which I can understand however the Date Check info was still useful as I chose providers that I knew that had given date check references for me.  Then told the provider if the references needed their memory jogged a bit to tell them they had given a reference for me on date check.

Although I feel it is still wise to contact the references yourself and tell them a request might be coming.  

I hope you will be as successful as I was she told me both references replied quickly and was approved for a visit.

Neither of them charged for a reference.  I might be wrong but I don't think charging for a reference is common.  I think that references are sort of like the providers TER where safety issues can be addressed prior to accepting a meeting so most are more than willing to co-operate with each other.

but good manners would suggest that you contact the provider first and ask permission to use her name.

I have never had a situation where a provider balked at doing so.

if a provider doesnt want to take the time to give you a reference, she wont.

but please do ask...

i once had a provider call me for a reference.. well i couldnt remember the guy, i dont keep records so i told her to tell him to call me and refresh my memory.

the provider calls me again about an hour later to ask if the client had called me and i said no.

she calls him back and asks him why he hasnt called me and he says he doesnt want to bother me.  

she calls me back and tell me she is now suspicious of him because he wont call me so i suggest to her that we conference call the client.

as soon as we started talking i did remember him and he was a very nice client i had seen twice and was able to give him a good reference.

he thanked me and i told him he could always call me when he needed a reference and he says he doesnt want to be a bother.

actually, by not asking, it turned into a TOTAL PAIN IN THE ASS and dragged the screening process out for a couple of hours.

asking wouldnt have bothered me at all.  we couldve had the situation spanked in 5 minutes.

most of us consider references to be part of our job, part of what you have paid for.

i do prefer that the client contact me... not only to refresh my memory but because i am contacted by providers from all over the country and i dont know all of them.. im scared your wife or your enemy might be emailing me to get some dirt on you and i want to be sure that you want me to share this info.  

on the other hand if a provider doesnt want to be bothered with reference requests, she can easily enough ignore an email