You seem like a sweet guy who was trying to give this girl the benefit of the doubt. However, there were several red flags here. Other than the agreed donation, it is extremely unprofessional to ask for a gift, whether they are new clients or otherwise. I have repeat clients that I've seen probably 10 times and I would never dream of asking them for anythng, much less dumping all the personal information on them.
That's very unclassy and hopefully not the norm in this business.
I'm curious about the reviews this provider has.
Anyway, I hope your future experiences are much, much better. XOXO
I set up an appointment with a provider, who will remain unnamed as I do not want to make any trouble for her.
Contacted this provider through email to set up an appointment. Went through the verification process and we agreed to a 3 hour dinner date on Saturday night (about 1 hour North of me). She said she would call me the next day to work out more details. Never got a call from her, but another email saying she was looking forward to it. Got another email Friday asking if I could move our appointment to another location 1 hour South of me as she had the chance at another appointment in that area and the timing would be right. I was flexible and said yes. She said thanks and reminded me she really liked gift cards and told me a story about her deadbeat husband and son who needed special education. She needed to get him a computer from Best Buy so that would be the best kind for her.
No problem. I made arrangements for someone to cover for me Saturday night (on-call) and made a trip to Best Buy to get a card for her kid.
Saturday comes and I still have not heard any details. Send her an email asking what's up. She replies back that her Nanny (who totalled her car a while back) was having bad headaches and she was trying to find someone to watch her kid so we could still get together. She said she would get back to me in a couple hours (it was Noon at that time). I finally emailed her again at around 4PM asking what was up. No response. Then finally at 7PM I sent another email stating that I assumed we weren't on for the night because I had not heard anything.
Today around 4PM I finally got an email from her saying she did send me an email asking if we could reschedule and doesn't know why it never got through.
Now, I'm not out any money here and I realize I run the risk of this happening just like the providers run the same risk with folks possibly not showing up as scheduled. I made arrangements to have someone cover for me, I was flexible in changing the location, and even made a special trip to Best Buy to get something she "needed".
We exchanged 21 emails in getting this all set up and the one where she has to reschedule for some reason didn't show up? She has my damn cell number and never once tried to call it.
This is (was going to be) my 2nd foray into this world of Hobbyists. Does this happen a lot to guys and if so, is there any recourse for this to warn others? It doesn't make sense though, she's gotten great reviews prior to this. I just feel like she dragged it out and blew me off.
Thanks guys.
- Jim
At least she did get in touch with you to explain what happened. I had a bad run of NC/NS on three occasions within a few months of each other a couple of years back. I didn't know what the heck was going on. Two of these failed sessions were with providers I had seen before and I thought everything was cool.
I never even got a follow up email or call to acknowlege that I tried to meet them even though an appointment was set up in each case.
I suggest that you try a different provider next time. Some peoples lives are just more complicated than others.
Good luck in the future.
This provider sounds more flaky than a snowstorm. She probably even gets a kick out of messing with newbies' minds. (BTW, did you tell her you were a newbie?) Drop her, and find someone who respects her clients more. You deserve better; act accordingly. As for that gift card you bought, either reuse it by giving to another provider or spend it yourself.
She sounds like more trouble than she is worth. I'd find another. There are plenty out there.
Swim
-- Modified on 8/12/2007 6:41:44 PM
hobby life. Sometimes you have to learn to move on. As Swim said, there are plenty of ladies out there. You didn't say how many reviews she had or how long she has been in the biz (how far back to her reviews go)? The more established a lady, the more likely she will be reliable in the meeting.
hobby life... But didn't the warning bells go off when she started talking about a deadbeat husband, a special ed son, a nanny with a head ache who totalled her car????
I don't understand why you would want to share your time and hard earned money with somebody who is so unabashedly open about allllll of the drama in her life. We providers all go through hard, sometimes crazy times, but we don't (at least I hope we don't) drag our clients into the fray and make them responsible for our situations.
Mister, I would say that if your provider is sharing that much of her personal life with you and you haven't even met yet, then something is definitely not going to go right.
It's so strange!! When there are so many classy, reliable ladies out there, that you would keep haggling with someone who you knew from the very start was having personal probs.
Believe me, when you're spending the kind of money you are on a hobby like this, you need to expect great service... and if you expect it, baby, you'll get it. As soon as the first little warning bells go off... honey... just move on to the next.
Smooth sailing, baby, that's what you deserve. Smooth sailing...
Twenty one emails to book an appointment that didn't even happen? It's your money and your time but I would move on to some one who has their act together. Everyone has problems in their lives but allowing them to filter into and disrupt your professional life is well...unprofessional!
There are great options out there with terrific ladies and no drama. Keep looking.
3 things you DON'T do:
Don't waste time with providers who "reminded me she really like gift cards" - UPFRONT! Dude, WTF?
Don't schedule 3-hr dinner dates for your first session. Could be a recipe for disaster. Save these dates for the "winners" that you've already met and enjoyed. You definitely seem to have more money than brains...
...case in point....
...Don't sign off with your real first name. "Dashriprock1980" is more than sufficient (hell, I'd even give it bonus points for referencing "The Beverly Hillbillies").
Now, 3 things of what to do:
Consider yourself lucky that you didn't meet this provider. She seems like a high-drama, unprofessional, if not slightly desperate escort.
Move on to someone else, having studied the reviews more carefully.
Tell us that wasn't your real first name. That happens to be my brother's first name and he's as stupid as the day is long. Coincidence right? I mean, you can't be him...? Naah, the odds tell me it can't be....
-- Modified on 8/13/2007 10:54:28 AM
Upon setting up a first time appointment, telling you about her kid and deadbeat husband(too much personal info)and asking for a BestBuy gift card is very unprofessional.
Thank you all for your opinions and feedback as well as a few tips for a newbie.
I would have given up after 3 emails , let alone 21 emails.......holy crap!
You seem like a sweet guy who was trying to give this girl the benefit of the doubt. However, there were several red flags here. Other than the agreed donation, it is extremely unprofessional to ask for a gift, whether they are new clients or otherwise. I have repeat clients that I've seen probably 10 times and I would never dream of asking them for anythng, much less dumping all the personal information on them.
That's very unclassy and hopefully not the norm in this business.
I'm curious about the reviews this provider has.
Anyway, I hope your future experiences are much, much better. XOXO
Looks like everyone has pretty much covered it. I'd have bolted the moment the drama started. As an add-on, I'd put a filter on my email account to mover her stuff straight to the trash folder...because she's probably not done with you yet.