+100000
I have notice that majority of the ladies has increase their donations and I understand due to the adjusments in economy and inflations. But this grandfather stuff is getting under my skin, I understand that the ladies offer this thing in good faith to attract their ATF and regulars to keep them from coming back again and again, but seems to me (speaking for myself) that, I'm spending more and more than ever, maybe I am just a softy when it comes to talking about the rates, I can not make myself asked for or even mention the old donations or they call it grandfather, I'm stuck, everytime I booked I always check the ladies current donations and exactly what I donate plus tips of course. I don't know how to make a proper approached to even mention about donations. My delema here is a numbers of visits to my regulars, for example I figured:
1. If I have to stay with my old donations and of course with the mutual approval by both parties my visits will be more frequent.
2. The increases are significant and you do the math you have to slow down and get your finances figured out and plan accordingly, resulting has to eliminate one or two plan visit because you have to adjust to your hobby budget. Instead of streching your budget and makes more visits with your ATF and your regulars, you tend to become conservative and compressed your schedules, a result of less visits.
3. I have no complaints about the increases of donations, for me it's just fair, what's getting in my skin is I don't know how to break the ice talking about grandfathered, I don't want to be perceive as a bargain hunter, I always consider myself as respectful gentleman as much as possible, but just like maybe a few of us don't have an unlimited hobby budget. We also have other resposibilities like anyone else. I just want to enjoy the hobby within our means and not be out of control.
4. So ladies or anyone help me out here, is there any such thing or a proper way to mention a freaking grandfather or I'm out of luck, I'm fu## up and I have to see a self steem counselor
NO! That's the worse a provider can say. You just gotta have the guts to bring it up. Most providers will understand. If she doesn't, you may rethink seeing her. Especially if you've seen her before.
There's a lot of debate on this topic.
I've seen some ladies who have had rate changes. Generally if I become aware of a new rate I'll bring enough with me to cover the new rate, and bring up the subject over lunch or dinner (I usually do 4 hours). I don't ask if I can be grandfathered, I mention that when I was looking at the ads on TER (or wherever) I peeked at her ad. While doing that I noticed her rate for new clients had changed and ask if she's asking her current clients to also increase their donations. If she wants to increase my rate she'll just say yes, if she is grandfathering everyone she'll say that, if she wants to grandfather just select clientele she'll say that. It gives her a graceful way to answer without having to make it about me.
That said I usually expect to pay the new rate if I see her once a year or so, and I expect to be grandfathered if she's a regular for me (regular for me is 4-6 4 hour appointments a quarter or about 20 times a year). It definitely affects if I continue to see them.
Some men argue that if it's anyone's responsibility to bring up, it's the person making the change, and I can see their point. I just personally believe that things go much better with the appointment if they feel they are being compensated in the manner they wish. If she intends to grandfather me it's a nice happy conversation, if she doesn't plan to then it's going to put her off her game while she stresses and tries to think up a way to bring it up.
Not sure that helps you, but that's what I do.
I've grandfathered the same rate for 11 years. I've never had an issue or was offended when someone asked ahead of time "If the rate is grandfathered". In fact I would pick a grandfathered client at a lower rate over a new client with more money. I have been pleasantly surprised by regulars who choose to pay the higher rate.
+100000
Um maybe your approach is all wrong? If I have seen somebody before and I call on her again shortly thereafter I would just pretend that I have not seen her latest ad.
I would ask something along the line of "Oh by the way is $xxx like last time still ok?"
95% of the time she would say yes.
Anyway there's also the advantage that she doesn't think/know you're cruising the ads everyday...
Lying or being sneaky is not appropriate. First, remember that most providers are seasoned enough to smell out bullshit a mile away. Second, she'd be an idiot not to know guys are cruising ads. I find that if you don't have to lie, then there's no reason to do so. This is simply not an instance where trickery is required.
It's very simple. Just ask. You can say, is the rate still xyz like last time? Chances are she's going to honor it and happily say yes. If she says she's raised her rates and cannot honor the grandfathered rate... Then in her mind she's prepared to lose you as a client and then you need to decide if you want to continue seeing her.
I would ask something along the line of "Oh by the way is $xxx like last time still ok?"
95% of the time she would say yes.
Anyway there's also the advantage that she doesn't think/know you're cruising the ads everyday...
Id say if you have seen her less than 3 times in a year, expect to pay the new rate. But if you see her frequently then it couldn't hurt to ask.
I don't think it's ever appropriate for a client to ask for a discount. It gives the impression that you don't think she's worth what she's charging, and it would leave a bad taste in my mouth. That's just my opinion...